Widescreen vs. Yokelvision
There are two ways movies are presented for viewing on TV: [1] widescreen, where you see the picture as the director framed it (which usually results in black bars at the top and bottom of the screen), and [2] pan-and-scan (or "fullscreen"), in which the image is cropped (i.e. "formatted to fit your screen").
I am trying to replace the terms "pan-and-scan" and "fullscreen" with the term Yokelvision in the public consciousness. I hope you'll help by working the new term into your speech as often as possible (but not so often that folks look at you funny). Why? Check out these images from Widescreen-o-rama:
Bladerunner in Widescreen
Bladerunner in Yokelvision
So buy your DVDs in widescreen! You'll be grateful when you buy that widescreen TV. Oh, try to get 'em anamorphic too (although if you've read this far I'm probably preachin' to the choir).
(The images above are rather shameless in not reflecting the fixed size of your TV screen and the resulting "wasted space" when watching widescreen. You caught me; I'm not above propaganda.)
Several years ago there was a guy who had an anti-widescreen page ("I call it letterschlocking!") and was hoping everybody would join him in trying to get the studios to release their films on DVD in full frame/pan 'n scan only. The page is long gone now, which is a shame, because he was one of my favorite nutcases on the web.
"Letterschlocking" - that's great! A wacko to be sure, but still a funny bastardization of the term. I suppose if I wanted to be punnish going the other way I could dub pan-and-scan "Foolscreen."
What was his argument against "letterschlocking"? Did he have an argument?
It ran along the lines of, "I paid for the screen, I want to see it filled up!" Really, how do you argue with something like that?
The guy was a real wackjob, but a fun one.
Yokelvision. It has its place...IN HELL. Bad bad bad pan-n-scan. BAD!
I feel better.
Tallyho
:?)
When I get to heaven I'm going to keep my eyes wide open, take a deep breath, look all around me and see just how Jim Henson is running the place.
Thanks for the link! Always good to have more fodder on this front, and abusing the muppets is definitely a one-way trip straight to hell.
I spent a little time tossing around ideas about rebranding "pan-and-scan." I came up with ten (well, more than ten... I just don't want to admit how much time I spent thinking about it.) Hopefully one of these will put the stink on "Yokelvision."
pan and scam
cheater pan and scan
peeking man and scan
installment pan and scan
bullscreen
crappenscance
splat screen
trouble vision
stubble vision
and my personal favourite...
circumcision vision
Nice! Maybe even shortenable to "Circumvision". I also considered "Foolscreen".
I (also) considered "circumvision" but thought people might lose the point. Reading it when someone else has written it makes me like "circumvision" better than the rest.
If you (we) really want to infect the lingo with a new word I think a term that insults its narrow viewed adherents would be counter-productive.
The biggest problem, as I see it, is that most of my peers don't even know what pan-and-scan is, or that it exists. Honestly, they think 'widescreen' is some kind of special version of a movie, and don't ever wonder how they put the wide screen in the theater on a square TV screen (until I tell them). They always by fullscreen DVDs because they think that's the regular version of the movie. GRRRRRR!!!!! It's not safe to borrow friends' DVDs - I have to get them ALL from Netflix.
Oh yes, I feel your pain.
Condescention and mockery might not be the best tactic? Blasphemy! But just in case you're right...
"The Bladerunner DVD, you say? Very good, sir. Will that be in widescreen or procrustean?"
Remind me to never go to the mattress with you. That usage tears the tags right off.