Punky's Dilemma (lyrics) -- Simon & Garfunkel

Wish I was a Kellogg's Cornflake
Floatin' in my bowl takin' movies,
Relaxin awhile, livin' in style,
Talkin' to a raisin who 'casionn'ly plays LA.,
Casually glancing at his toupee.

Wish I was an English muffin
'Bout to make the most out of a toaster.
I'd ease myself down,
Comin' up brown
I prefer boysenberry
More than any ordinary jam.
I'm a "Citizens for Boysenberry Jam" fan.

Ah, South California.

If I became a first lieutenant
Would you put my photo on your piano?
To Maryjane --
Best wishes, Martin.

(Old Roger draft-dodger
Leavin' by the basement door),
Everybody knows what he's
Tippy-toeing down there for.