Problems With the Recently-Released "Dial-a-Song: 20 Years of They Might Be Giants"

I think I am one of a very select few who listens to TMBG on this site, but oh well, I feel like ranting about this so-called compilation of "greatest hits." It's actually not THAT bad, but it could be a lot better. Here are the songs on it, which I have broken up by album:

TMBG: (6) Don’t Let’s Start, (She Was a) Hotel Detective, Put Your Hand Inside the Puppet Head, She’s an Angel, Boat of Car, Number Three

Lincoln: (5) Ana Ng, They’ll Need a Crane, Snowball in Hell, Cowtown, Purple Toupee

Flood: (7) Birdhouse in Your Soul, Istanbul (Not Constantinople), Particle Man, Minimum Wage, Your Racist Friend, Twisting, They Might Be Giants

Miscellaneous T: (3) We're the Replacements, Hey Mr. DJ I Thought You Said We Had a Deal, Nightgown of the Sullen Moon

Apollo 18: (7) Guitar, Statue Got Me High, I Palindrome I, Mammal, Spider, Fingertips, She’s Actual Size

John Henry: (5) Snail Shell, Meet James Ensor, I Should Be Allowed to Think, Spy, End of the Tour

Factory Showroom: (7) New York City, How Can I Sing Like a Girl?, James K. Polk, Pet Name, I Can Hear You, Exquisite Dead Guy, SEXXY

Severe Tire Damage: (2) Doctor Worm, Why Does the Sun Shine?

Mink Car: (5) Older, Cyclops Rock, Man It’s So Loud In Here, Bangs, Another First Kiss

No!: (1) No!

Other: (6) Boss of Me, Dr. Evil, Stormy Pinkness, Robot Parade (adult version)

Problems With Songs from TMBG: Good choices with "She's an Angel", "Number Three", and "Don't Let's Start", but "Boat of Car" is just plain strange. A decent song, but not a greatest hit. I personally think that "Nothing's Gonna Change My Clothes" should be on it, but maybe a bigger hit would be "Rhythm Section Want Ad." Either would be better than "Boat of Car." Oh, and I personally don't think "(She Was A) Hotel Detective" is all that great, but apparently, many people agree with me, and it was one of their singles, so I guess it deserves to be on here.

Problems With Lincoln: First of all, why only 5 songs? This is one of TMBG's best albums, if not their best. Second of all, "Snowball in Hell" and "Cowtown" are decent, but they have no business being on this CD. I would've preferred "Where Your Eyes Don't Go" or "Mr. Me" or "Piece of Dirt" or "Kiss Me, Son of God" or "Stand On Your Head" or "Shoehorn With Teeth." In fact, throw all of these songs on there!

Flood: Of course, they had to include "Birdhouse in Your Soul", "Particle Man", and "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)." They are probably the band's 3 biggest hits, and rightfully so. But I'm guessing the only reason "They Might Be Giants" is on there is because it's named after the group. It's not a great song by itself. I don't know what I'd replace it with; there are so many great songs on Flood. Maybe "We Want a Rock", even though I've always personally preferred "Dead" or "Letterbox." "Your Racist Friend" probably shouldn't be on there either...but I digress.

Miscellaneous T: Well done! They have nailed 3 of the 4 good songs on Miscellaneous T! I'm impressed. I wish they'd included "It's Not My Birthday" too, but oh well, I'll live.

Apollo 18: Of course, they had to include "Spider" and "She's Actual Size." I"m also glad "I Palindrome I" made it to this compilation. However, I don't think "Fingertips" should be on here. It's a fun song to hear for the first few times, but after that it gets annoying (note: I feel the same way about "I Can Hear You" on Factory Showroom). I also don't think "Guitar" or "Mammal" should be on here. Both are good songs, but not as good as "Narrow Your Eyes" and, I dunno, one other song. "My Evil Twin"? "See the Constellation"? Perhaps even "Turn Around"?

John Henry: Again, why only 5 songs? John Henry is an awesome album, a lot better than their debut album and Apollo 18 and Factory Showroom, all of which have more songs than John Henry. "Snail Shell" and "End of the Tour" have some of the best that John and John have ever written. I would also include "No One Knows My Plan" and possibly "Destination Moon" from John Henry, but that's just me. I'd probably omit "Spy", but since the previously-unreleased live version is the one on the album, maybe it's better than the John Henry version. Finally, I don't see what the big deal is about "Meet James Ensor", that they had to put it on both "Severe Tire Damage" and this CD. It's a good but not great song.

Factory Showroom: Oh, "New York City." What an excellent song. My love for it is only hampered by the fact that TMBG didn't actually write it; it's one of their few covers. But I'm still very pleased that it's on here. I also love "SEXXY" and "Pet Name." They shouldn't have included "I Can Hear You" (see my comments on "Fingertips"). They also shouldn't have put on "James K. Polk", which features mediocre music and lyrics that form a history lesson (an inaccurate one, at that). But they definitely should've found room for "Till My Head Falls Off", a really awesome song. However, I'm glad they didn't include "XTC vs. Adam Ant"; I've never really liked that song, and I feared that, as it was on "Severe Tire Damage", the song was fairly popular.

Severe Tire Damage: Why only 2? They should've also included "They Got Lost" and "First Kiss", which were each infinitely better than their respective studio releases. As for whether the other live songs sound better than the original studio versions, well, I don't really have a preference.

Long Tall Weekend: Why no songs from here? They could've at least included "Certain People I Could Name" and maybe "Lullaby to Nightmares." I mean, yeah, it was an mp3-only release, but this greatest hits album could be a good opportunity to introduce the fans to some of those songs.

Mink Car: "Older" should not be on here. The lyrics are mildly amusing at first, but the music is awful, and the song soon becomes tiring. "Man It's So Loud In Here" is okay, but shouldn't be on here. "Another First Kiss" is awful; I wish they had included the live version. I love "Bangs" and "Cyclops Rock", but I think they should've also included "Hovering Sombrero", "Hopeless Bleak Despair", and "Working Undercover for the Man." Those are some great songs.

No!: One song is too many. I feel completely ripped off for actually buying this CD. I thought that at least I could've enjoyed it as a fan of TMBG, but no. It was just too kiddie. (Although, I must admit, I kinda like "Fibber Island"...but it still doesn't belong here.)

Other: "Dr. Evil" and "Boss of Me" were good choices. "Robot Parade" (adult version) was not. I have also never really liked "Stormy Pinkness", but oh well. I've always liked "Sensurround", from the "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Movie" soundtrack; that might be a good selection for this. Another good song might be one of the other songs on the "Working Undercover For the Man" single, maybe "Rest Awhile" or, better yet, "On the Drag." I also really wish they had included "Hell Hotel", the only song from the 1985 demo tape that is still unreleased on an album. I really wanna hear it, but it's virtually impossible to find. I'm kinda glad they didn't include any of the Bonus Tracks from "Then: The Earlier Years", but maybe they should've included "Weep Day", which, in my opinion, is the only Bonus Track that's even close to the quality of their other songs.

So! I hope I have explained why I will not be purchasing They Might Be Giants' new greatest hits album, despite being a big fan of the band. If you don't listen to TMBG but you're reading this anyway because you're bored, sorry to confuse you. But hey, why don't you listen to TMBG, anyway? Go out and buy "Lincoln." Or "John Henry." Or "Flood."