Lines that make me laugh with hysteria and feel slightly uneasy

"Spit makes it slide better." (Followed by a revolting anal rape scene.)

~Ewwwwwww.

"Noone leaves baby in a corner."

~Roof.

"You're the man now...dog."

~as spoken by Sean Connery in an ridiculous American accent.

"Squeal like a pig" (followed by rambunctious squeals from a hairy-toothed red-neck riding Ned Beatty.)

~Poor Ned.

"Where's Sallie." she asks demurely. Arnie says "I had to let him go."

~This and later scenes of flower heads blocking bullets make Commando a true crap classic.

"Life's just a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get."

~I know what I got, queasy.

"Don't mess with the bull. You'll get the horns."

~Yeah baby.

"Lemme tell you something, in every relationship, there's a bull and a cow. It just so happens that in this relationship, right here with me and you, I'm the bull, you're the cow. Alright? Bull. Cow. You got that?"

~Can you smell what Ben's cookin', cus it smells like a crap fritter.

"Pressure? Let me just say that Rambo is the best combat vet I've ever seen. A pure fighting machine with only a desire - to win a war that someone else lost. And if winning means he has to die - he'll die. No fear, no regrets. And one more thing, what you choose to call hell, he calls home."

~That speach is so manly, it makes me feel like a little girl.

"What do you want?" "I want the truth." "You can't handle the truth."

~Could lines be any sillier in a dramatic film.

"Pain don't hurt." Dalton says while sewing up (giggle) his own arm.

~That is extreme manliness.

"I love you, Willy."

~A quote that is self explanitory.

"If his premature demise has, in some way, enlightened the rest of you as to the grim finish below the glossy veneer of criminal life, and inspired you to change your ways, then his death carries with it an inherent nobility. And a supreme glory. We should all be so fortunate. You can say 'Poor Toby." I say: "Poor us..""

~I didn't know there was a glossy veneer to criminal life, how interesting.

"Laugh while you can, monkey boy"

~Teehee

"You're ego's writing checks your body can't cash."

~In the testerone fueled man-love mustardpiece that is Top Gun this line is the bottom. And by the bottom I mean the top...baby!

"I wouldn't s**t you...You're my favorite turd."

~That one's a classic.

"Time and gravity are the enemy of all titties!"

~Yes that is an actual quote, yes I have seen the movie it's in and yes I do feel slightly ashamed.

"I'm so bad I kick my own ass twice a day."

~Deeeeeyam.

"Why don't you take a flying f*** at a rolling donut."

~holy cow.

"Yippee kai yae, mother..."

~Well I guess heros can have brain farts too.

"Remember: no matter where you go, there you are."

~That makes sense.

"Tae en da waind!"

~That's tree in the wind if ya want to know.

"Now look who's got something that works. Kiss me before you make it go away."

~I'm trying to erase it from my mind.

and

"What about birth control" "Menopause" "Who's the lucky boy"

~I want to run right now, but I'm glued to my seat in terror.

"They called him the Glimmer Man because all you see is a glimmer (pregnant pause) then you're dead."

~The logic here is somewhat askew, if everyone who saw the glimmer is dead how do you know they saw a glimmer? Oh the connundrum.

"Time marches on and sooner or later you realize it is marchin' across your face."

~Yep

"Where did you learn those moves? And don't tell me from the streets, I AM from the streets."

~From the bad-movie-kung-fu repository maybe?

"Last time I was in water like this I spent two weeks picking leaches of my scrotum."

~Too much information right there.

"I've got this thing about chickens"

~Uh yeah...okay.

"I finished the sculpture. I didn't know where it was going, but that was ok. I really enjoyed letting it take on its own life; letting it just be what it was, without me pushing or doubting myself. And what it was, was beautiful."

~Excuse me while I BARF!

she says: "Are those clorets in your pocket or you just happy to see me?" he says: "Is that a bra your wearing or are you waiting for an assination."

~The joys of flirting.