Impulse Watches - what I thought about what somebody else thought
Cloned from a person who said "I discovered I require impulse movies." For me, that means housesitting-cable TV watching binges, typically. From here on out, my content is in [ ], everything else belongs to the original lister. I didn't clone all his content so you can read the original list.
1. Venus Beauty Institute
A movie about three women juggling the demands of love and beauty makeovers. Angele is searching for love, Samantha has too many boyfriends and Marie is finding love for the first time. It's a throwback to classic French cinema and a good film. It's flaws include spotty acting, MIA sub-plots and a flat ending. Still worth watching for Nathalie Baye's excellent performance and a hot scene with Audrey Tautou and a much older guy. (6.5)
2. Freeway [*Note: A Modern Day Little Red Riding Hood]
An illiterate, street-smart girl's mother and father are arrested, together. The girl (Reese Witherspoon) escapes from a family services counsellor and travels cross country to find her grand-mother. She's picked up by a psychopathic guidence counsellor (Kiefer Sutherland) and that's just half of this film. Freeway is a juggernaut. A startling, brutal and funny film, frothing with rabid intensity, throwing twists and turns at the viewer. Witherpoon is incredible as Vanessa. (8)
3. Daredevil
Ben Affleck will soon be known as Ben Affliction if he keeps making movies like this. In an shameless attempt to cash in on Spiderman (Which I liked a lot) MSJ directs exactly the same movie with a different super-hero. It's like watching inferior outtakes in which Colin Farrell pretends he's in the action movie remake of The Crying Game and Ben wears really dark shades. This movie proves one thing, that Jennifer Garner is awesome. She needs to find much better movies to be as cool as she is in the starring role. (4)
4. Matchstick Men [Haven't seen, but will]
A movie that is very long. The movie moves along very slowly. Nicholas Cage shows every tick known to acting, his performance can be very irritating. His squirelly Roy is such a collosal nervous reck that the film just lags underneath him. Alison Lohman is good and does a fair bit of mugging herself and Sam Rockwell is quite good. This movie is half good and half bad. The twist ending is kind of a surprise but the end just fizzles out. Definately one to rent on a night you have nothing else to watch. (5)
5. Hellboy [Also, Didn't see, but will]
I ventured to the distant city theatre to partake of the joy-ride that is Hellboy. The movie began with a rainy scene from long, long ago explaining the birth of sorts of said character. Action explodes, many die and I'm introduced to a cute, tiny red guy with a stone hand and a hankering for Baby Ruth. After the credits roll the words present day pop up on the bottom of the screen. The little red guy is all grown up and he's hungry. Ron Perlman invests this character with oodles of macho charisma and manages an incredible performance to match the bright red physic. His bravodo is only matched by Professor Broom (John Hurt) and Abe Sapien (Doug Jones) who I wish had been featured more prevelantly. The rest of the cast just has a hard time keeping up. Del Toro has a knack for mixing great visuals, flamboyant special effects (they're excellent), and fabulous action scenes into something very exciting. His ability to invest scenes with actual emotion edge the film alongside Spiderman in the new royalty of the super-hero pantheon. The one main problem is the editing, some scenes run on far too long while the ending is so jaggedly cut it almost forced me out of the movie altogether. That causes a problem with the pacing of what could have been an excellent picture. Even with those flaws Hellboy is a very enjoyable, action-packed spectacle. (7.9)
6. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (03)[I saw this movie at work, yes, at work, testing used DVDs. Of course had to see it all the way through, but I agree. Not much horrorific, after the girl blows her brains out, and nothing worthwhile in the way of plot, dialogue, or acting]
This is a very bad movie,
No it ain't that groovy,
Certain scenes were kinda scary,
The movie is directed garishly,
The actors are pretty bad,
The plot twists are really sad,
It turned out to be kinda silly,
This one's just a crap-fritter. (1)
7. Secondhand Lions
This is a sweet, sometimes funny, pervasively hokey little movie. Each actors does a nice job interpreting their part. The script has a certain charm in between the silly parts. Overall this is a friendly, eager-to-please movie that's a little too pleasant to make a large impact. (6.5)
8. The Matrix Revolutions [Haven't seen, I'm thinking I might, just because of the intensive theories the trilogy has inspired]
Ha! This is one huge incoherant, soul-depleting, inept, confused, smelly, quease-inducing, sticky sweet, sour ended, pretentious, eye-sore that was so awful it made me feel dirty even watching it. Now let me say, I knew it was going to be bad when I decided to watch it, but my expectations were bowled over by the craptacular monolith of dung that was this film. Could this be the worst film ever made...that's a maybe. Would this film make Ed Wood Jr. proud...that's a yes. (0)
9. Reign Of Fire [Hah! Good review.]
Hardy-Har-Har Me Matey. Other than the hideously overblown acting, startlingly good cast (huh), and basically good story-line there's the problem that the movie is far too long and has some of the dumbest dialogue this side of a Christopher Lambert film. Yet, I halfway liked it in a so bad it's kinda good way. All I have to say is Hey mr. dragon, leave my tomatoes alone! (5)
