The Editing Room: Speed 2

SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL: THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT

By Marko M.

FADE IN:

EXT. A ROAD NEAR THE BEACH

JASON PATRIC is chasing a truck on his motorcycle.

JASON PATRIC
Look just how cool and tough I am. And
better looking than Keanu Reeves.

AUDIENCE
And you're a better actor too.

JAN DE BONT
This sequence is so good! Though
totally unimportant to the plot it
gives you an adrenaline rush, at least
to the 8-12 year old part of the male
audience.

EXT. A BIG CRUISE SHIP IN THE CARIBBEAN

SANDRA BULLOCK
How did we get here?

JASON PATRIC
I dunno, must've been my motorcycle
stunt didn't pay off so I had to buy
you a cruseliner ticket so we can have
a romantic week on the sea. And
besides, the title suggests the plot
revolves around a cruiseliner out of
control.

SANDRA BULLOCK
I guess I'm with you instead of Keanu
now. You're a cop right?

JASON PATRIC
Yeah, I'm a cop, as were the other
twelve boyfriends you went through
between Keanu and I. Just curious,
was your dad a cop?

SANDRA BULLOCK
Yeah, why?

INT. A ROOM ON THE SHIP

WILLEM DAFOE
I'm so evil. And crazy too, look at me
putting these leeches on my body.

AUDIENCE
Oh, he's so evil. And crazy too! Look
at him putting those slimy black
patches on his body.

EXT. SHIP'S DECK

WILLEM DAFOE
Hehe, I'm gonna ram this ship in a
tanker, now that I took over the
control over it.

CAPTAIN
Who are you? What are you doing here?

WILLEM DAFOE
Oh that really pisses me off! You
don't know who I am! You don't know
that I developed the navigation
systems for this ship and then I got
laid off. So, you see, I'm not a
faceless criminal who wants to kill
people for fun, I have my reasons.

AUDIENCE
...however dumb those reasons are...

EXT. SHIP

JASON PATRIC realizes the ship is going to ram into the
tanker.

JASON PATRIC
Gotta stop this ship, gotta go under
the water and stop the propeller. So
now I'll jump into this pool where
we're filming this scene, audience
won't notice the water around here is
still.

JAN DE BONT
Oh, what a feeling of speed! I'm a
genius!

WILLEM DAFOE
You're coming with me.

He grabs SANDRA BULLOCK.

SANDRA BULLOCK
Fine by me, maybe that way I'll
actually get to be in the spotlight of
this movie. Then again, maybe I won't.

WILLEM DAFOE gets of the ship on a speedboat, taking
SANDRA BULLOCK with him.

EXT. THE SHIP IS ON IT'S WAY TO RAM INTO THE TANKER

JASON PATRIC
I'll save us, I'll make this multi-
thousand-ton ship turn for 90 degrees
with my bare hands.

PASSENGERS
Or we could all just jump off the ship
but you're right, go save us, that
will be more dramatic.

EXT. SHIP

The ship doesn't ram the tanker but brushes of its side
so ILM can show their work on the trailer upon which
Speed 2: Cruise control was made.

AUDIENCE
(waking up)
What the...?
That was the cool lookin' shot from
the trailer...and we slept right
through it...

INT. SHIP

PASSANGER
(looking at something,
terrified)
Oh shit!

ANOTHER PASSANGER
Oh shit!

ANOTHER PASSANGER
Oh shit!

YET ANOTHER PASSANGER
Oh shit!

SHIP OFFICER WITH AN
EXTREMELY ANNOYING ACCENT
Oh shait!

AUDIENCE
Oh shit! Stop that already!

EXT. SHIP

Ship rams into the countless boats and yachts in the
harbor..

THEN it continues towards the docks, ramming into them..

THEN rams into the houses, wreaking havoc, then rams
into...

Oh, then it runs aground.

SHIP OFFICER WITH AN
EXTREMELY ANNOYING ACCENT
15 knots, 14 knots, 13 knots...funny
how the speed decreases linearly. But
the audience won't notice that.

PROJECTIONIST IN THE THEATRE
You're right, they all left half an
hour ago.

The ship travels a couple of hundred yards more on the
ground, just to make things more believable.

SHIP OFFICER WITH AN
EXTREMELY ANNOYING ACCENT
5 knots, 4 knots...

Ship lays motionless in the rubble of the nearby houses.

SHIP OFFICER WITH AN
EXTREMELY ANNOYING ACCENT
3 knots, 2 knots, 1 knot...whaddaya
know, we actually stopped.

JASON PATRIC
Thanks to my heroic efforts!
(pause)
Oh wait, I failed completely and we
ran into this entire town and
basically destroyed it. It's only by
fluke that nobody was killed. I suck.
(pause)
Gotta save my girl.

He steals a boat and goes after the hydroplane which is
just taking off carrying WILLEM DAFOE and SANDRA BULLOCK.
Then he gets onboard and gives a big, wet one to SANDRA
BULLOCK. WILLEM DAFOE politely waits for them to finish
their kiss then tries to fight JASON PATRIC. JASON PATRIC
saves his girl and two of them get off the plane just a
second before it hits a pole on the deck of the tanker.

WILLEM DAFOE
Oh, I'm still alive. Everything is
gonna be alright, there's no way the
whole tanker is going to explode just
because I rammed into the pole with my
plane.

EXT. TANKER

The whole vessel blows up, sending hundreds of CG debris
in the air.

JAN DE BONT
Whoa! Am I the greatest or what? This
must've been the biggest non-nuclear
explosion ever seen on the big screen.

WOLFGANG PETERSEN
Man, you suck. My explosion in
'Outbreak' was way bigger than that.

SANDRA BULLOCK
Oh, do I finally get a line here? This
must've been the easiest earned $10
million in my life. Julia Roberts eat
your heart out!

BILL MECHANIC, FOX CEO
On what did we spend $100 million
plus...Thank God we had SE Star Wars
to milk out some geek money earlier
this year or I'd be out of my job now.

END