Christmas Movie Quotes
Holiday Inn (1942)
Ted Hanover: A gentle smile often breeds a kick in the pants.
Jim Hardy: What brings you here on this bright and uninviting day?
Ted Hanover: [reading] Come out and relax on a farm, open holidays only.
[skeptical]
Ted Hanover: Open holiday's only? Say, how many of them are there?
Jim Hardy: [excited] About 15. That gives me 350 days to kick around in!
Ted Hanover: [laughing] You would think of that!
Mamie: Is your names Mamie?
Daphne and Vanderbilt: No.
Mamie: Get back in the kitchen!
[later]
Mamie: Is your names Miss Linda?
Daphne and Vanderbilt: No.
Ted Hanover: It's going to be easy - like peeling a turtle.
Jim Hardy: For that kinda money you oughta be able to go by way o' Medicine Hat!
Danny Reed: If I'm not the best manager in the business, I'll eat a garage mechanic's shirt!
Danny Reed: How'd he get that far in five minutes?
Ted Hanover: The lady must have been willing.
Danny Reed: The world can't do this to us!
Ted Hanover: I like it here... with you and Linda.
Jim Hardy: And we love having you. When are you leaving?
Danny Reed: François! Have you seen Mr. Hanover?
François: Twice, sir. The first time he came from his dressing room he had a telegram in his hand. He ordered scotch and soda. A bottle of each.
Danny Reed: I know! I know!
François: The second time he came from his dressing room he asked which was Connecticut.
Danny Reed: Connecticut?
François: Connecticut. He said he had a friend there who knows about women too.
Danny Reed: Why didn't you stop him?
François: How can I stop him sir when I don't know which way is Connecticut!
Ted Hanover: Then I had a drink.
Jim Hardy: A drink? Boy you were fractured!
It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
George Bailey: Just remember this, Mr. Potter: that this rabble you're talking about, they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath?
George Bailey: [yelling at Uncle Billy] Where's that money, you silly stupid old fool? Where's that money? Do you realize what this means? It means bankruptcy and scandal and prison. That's what it means. One of us is going to jail - well, it's not gonna be me.
Nick: [ringing the cash register repeatedly] Get me. I'm givin' out wings.
Mr. Potter: [to George Bailey] Look at you. You used to be so cocky. You claimed you were going to go out and conquer the world. You once called me, "a warped, frustrated, old man!" Who are you but a warped, frustrated young man, crawling in here on your hands and knees begging for help. No securities, no stocks, no bonds. Nothin' but a miserable little $500 equity in a life insurance policy. You're worth more dead than alive.
Nick: Hey look, mister - we serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don't need any characters around to give the joint "atmosphere". Is that clear, or do I have to slip you my left for a convincer?
Uncle Billy: After all, Potter, some people like George HAD to stay at home. Not every heel was in Germany and Japan.
Nick: [slamming a bottle on the bar] That's it. Out you two pixies go - through the door, or out the window.
George Bailey: Now, come on, get your clothes on, and we'll stroll up to my car and get... Oh, I'm sorry. I'll stroll. You fly.
Clarence: I can't fly. I haven't got my wings.
George Bailey: You haven't got your wings. Yeah, that's right.
George Bailey: Well, maybe I left the car up at Martini's. Well, come on, Gabriel.
Clarence: Clarence!
George Bailey: Clarence. Clarence.
[George has discovered his brother Harry's tombstone]
Clarence: [explaining] Your brother, Harry Bailey, broke through the ice and was drowned at the age of nine.
George Bailey: That's a lie! Harry Bailey went to war - he got the Congressional Medal of Honor, he saved the lives of every man on that transport.
Clarence: Every man on that transport died! Harry wasn't there to save them, because you weren't there to save Harry.
George Bailey: What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary.
Mary: I'll take it. Then what?
George Bailey: Well, then you can swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see... and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair... am I talking too much?
Clarence: Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?
Man on Porch: Why don't you kiss her instead of talking her to death?
George Bailey: You want me to kiss her, huh?
Man on Porch: Ah, youth is wasted on the wrong people.
George Bailey: You call this a happy family? Why do we have to have all these kids?
George Bailey: You sit around here and you spin your little webs and you think the whole world revolves around you and your money. Well, it doesn't, Mr. Potter. In the whole vast configuration of things, I'd say you were nothing but a scurvy little spider. And...
[turning to his aid]
George Bailey: And that goes for you, too!
Clarence: You've been given a great gift, George: A chance to see what the world would be like without you.
Clarence: You see George, you've really had a wonderful life. Don't you see what a mistake it would be to just throw it away?
Zuzu Bailey: Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.
Annie: I been savin' this money for a de-vorce, if ever I get a husban'.
Little Violet: [commenting on George] I like him.
Little Mary: You like every boy.
Little Violet: What's wrong with that?
George Bailey: Well, you look about the kind of angel I'd get. Sort of a fallen angel, aren't you? What happened to your wings?
George Bailey: Isn't it wonderful? I'm going to jail!
Little Mary: Is this the ear you can't hear on?
[whispering in his bad ear]
Little Mary: George Bailey, I'll love you 'til the day I die.
Clarence: Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends.
George Bailey: [on Mary being caught naked in the bushes] This is a very interesting situation!
George Bailey: Merry Christmas, movie house! Merry Christmas, Emporium! Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan!
Clarence: Ohh, there must be some easier way for me to get my wings.
Annie: Boys and girls and music. What do they need gin for?
George Bailey: I'm shakin' the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I'm gonna see the world. Italy, Greece, the Parthenon, the Colosseum. Then, I'm comin' back here to go to college and see what they know. And then I'm gonna build things. I'm gonna build airfields, I'm gonna build skyscrapers a hundred stories high, I'm gonna build bridges a mile long...
George Bailey: Now you listen to me. I don't want any plastics and I don't want any ground floors. And I don't want to get married ever to anyone! You understand that? I want to do what I want to do.
Mary: He's making violent love to me, mother!
Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
Fred Gailey: Look Doris, someday you're going to find that your way of facing this realistic world just doesn't work. And when you do, don't overlook those lovely intangibles. You'll discover those are the only things that are worthwhile.
Fred Gailey: Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to. Don't you see? It's not just Kris that's on trial, it's everything he stands for. It's kindness and joy and love and all the other intangibles.
Charles Halloran: All right, you go back and tell them that the New York State Supreme Court rules there's no Santa Claus. It's all over the papers. The kids read it and they don't hang up their stockings. Now what happens to all the toys that are supposed to be in those stockings? Nobody buys them. The toy manufacturers are going to like that; so they have to lay off a lot of their employees, union employees. Now you got the CIO and the AF of L against you and they're going to adore you for it and they're going to say it with votes. Oh, and the department stores are going to love you too and the Christmas card makers and the candy companies. Ho ho. Henry, you're going to be an awful popular fella. And what about the Salvation Army? Why, they got a Santa Claus on every corner, and they're taking a fortune. But you go ahead Henry, you do it your way. You go on back in there and tell them that you rule there is no Santy Claus. Go on. But if you do, remember this: you can count on getting just two votes, your own and that district attorney's out there.
Judge Henry X. Harper: The District Attorney's a Republican.
Doris: Would you please tell her that you're not really Santa Claus, that there actually is no such person?
Kris Kringle: Well, I hate to disagree with you, but not only is there such a person, but here I am to prove it.
Fred: That baseball player sure looks like a giant to me.
Susan: Sometimes people grow very large, but that's abnormal.
Fred: I'll bet your mother told you that, too.
Susan: I believe... I believe... Even though it's silly, I believe.
District Attorney: What is your name?
Kris Kringle: Kris Kringle.
District Attorney: Where do you live?
Kris Kringle: That's what this hearing will decide.
[Doris is trying to convince Susan there is no Santa Claus]
Susan Walker: But he spoke Dutch to that girl.
Doris Walker: Susan, I speak French, but that doesn't make me Joan of Arc.
Kris Kringle: You see, Mrs. Walker, this is quite an opportunity for me. For the past 50 years or so I've been getting more and more worried about Christmas. Seems we're all so busy trying to beat the other fellow in making things go faster and look shinier and cost less that Christmas and I are sort of getting lost in the shuffle.
Kris Kringle: You know what the imagination is?
Susan Walker: Oh, sure. That's when you see things, but they're not really there.
Kris Kringle: Well, that can be caused by other things, too.
Susan Walker: If you're really Santa Claus, you can get it for me. And if you can't, you're only a nice man with a white beard like mother says.
Kris Kringle: Now wait a minute, Susie. Just because every child can't get his wish that doesn't mean there isn't a Santa Claus.
Mr. Shellhammer: But... but maybe he's only a little crazy like painters or composers or... or some of those men in Washington.
Alfred, Macy janitor: Yeah, there's a lot of bad 'isms' floatin' around this world, but one of the worst is commercialism. Make a buck, make a buck. Even in Brooklyn it's the same--don't care what Christmas stands for, just make a buck, make a buck.
Kris Kringle: Oh, Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind... and that's what's been changing. That's why I'm glad I'm here, maybe I can do something about it.
Doris Walker: I was wrong when I told you that, Susie. You must believe in Mr. Kringle and keep right on doing it. You must have faith in him.
Fred Gailey: Your Honor, every one of these letters is addressed to Santa Claus. The Post Office has delivered them. Therefore the Post Office Department, a branch of the Federal Governent, recognizes this man Kris Kringle to be the one and only Santa Claus.
Judge Henry X. Harper: Uh, since the United States Government declares this man to be Santa Claus, this court will not dispute it. Case dismissed.
White Christmas (1954)
Phil Davis: When what's left of you gets around to what's left to be gotten, what's left to be gotten won't be worth getting, whatever it is you've got left.
Doris: Well how do you like that? Not so much as a "kiss my foot" or "have an apple".
Phil Davis: I want you to get married. I want you to have nine children. And if you only spend five minutes a day with each kid, that's forty-five minutes, and I'd at least have time to go out and get a massage or something.
Phil Davis: That's very funny. Ho, ho, ho. The crooner is becoming the comic.
Phil Davis: How can a guy that ugly have the nerve to have sisters?
Bob Wallace: Very brave parents.
Bob Wallace: Oh, Phil, when are you going to learn that girls like that are a dime a dozen?
Phil Davis: Please, don't quote me the price when I haven't got the time.
Bob Wallace: You don't expect me to get serious with the kind of characters you and Rita have been throwing at me, do you?
Phil Davis: Well, there have been some nice girls, too, you know.
Bob Wallace: Oh yeah, yeah. Like that nuclear scientist we just met out in the hall.
Phil Davis: All right, they didn't go to college. They didn't go to Smith.
Bob Wallace: Go to Smith? She couldn't even spell it.
Phil Davis: In some ways, you're far superior to my cocker spaniel.
Phil Davis: Give me one reason, one good reason, why we should spend our last 2 hours in Florida looking at the sister's of Freckle-Face Haynes, the dog-faced boy.
Bob Wallace: Let's just say we're doing it for an old pal in the army.
Phil Davis: Well, it's not good, but it's a reason.
[after Betty finds Judy and Phil embracing]
Betty Haynes: What is this? The best two outta three?
Judy Haynes: I guess I got carried away.
Phil Davis: Yeah, she carried me right with her - I don't weigh very much.
Phil Davis: How much is "wow"?
Bob Wallace: It's right in between, uh, "ouch" and "boing".
Phil Davis: Wow!
Gen. Thomas F. Waverly: There's no Christmas in the Army!
[General Waverly has told the jeep driver to take the new Commanding General back to Headquarters via a short cut]
Joe: [pointing after the departed jeep] That's not the way to Headquarters!
Gen. Thomas F. Waverly: Joe, you know that, and I know that, but the General doesn't! At least he won't for the next two hours.
Joe: That sergeant will be a private in the morning.
Gen. Thomas F. Waverly: [wearily] Yes, isn't he lucky.
Phil Davis: We like to take care of our friends.
Betty Haynes: But we're practically strangers!
Phil Davis: Uh, we like to take care of that too.
Betty Haynes: But I don't understand. Why are you doing this? I mean, what's in it for you?
Phil Davis: Forty-five minutes all to myself.
Phil Davis: We wouldn't be any good as generals.
Gen. Thomas F. Waverly: You weren't any good as privates
Mr. Krueger's Christmas (1980)
Narrator: "I love you." That's what Christmas is all about... Clarissa said it to Mr. Krueger; Mr. Krueger said it to Jesus; and Jesus in so many ways said it to all of us.
[George the cat meows]
Mr. Krueger: Yeah, I guess you're right George, we better trim that tree. If we don't hurry, we'll be too late!
Clarissa's Mother: Did Clarissa leave her mittens here ?
Mr. Krueger: Oh, yes, yes they're right here.
Clarissa: You hung them on the christmas tree ?
Mr. Krueger: Well, you remind me of everything good about Christmas so I just couldn't think of a better place. Here... there you are.
Mixed Nuts (1994)
Catherine O'Shaughnessy: I'm not like you, Philip. I'm not one of those people that's only good on the phone. In person you just blame everybody. You made a mistake at the office, you gave out the address! Did I blame you? No! I blamed the Santa Anas! I don't even know what the Santa Anas are!
Philip: They're the dry winds that blow in from the...
Catherine O'Shaughnessy: Oh, shut up!
[Philip gives Mrs. Munchnik her Christmas gift.]
Mrs. Munchnik: A fruitcake?
Philip: Yes.
Mrs. Munchnik: Remarkably like the one I gave you last year.
[on the phone]
Susan: My psychiatrist thinks we should break up.
Philip: What? I didn't know you were going to a psychiatrist.
Susan: Well I'm not actually going to one. I've been dating one for four months.
Philip: This is so sudden!
Susan: I didn't want to tell you this over the phone, I really wanted to fax you. But you don't even have a fax!
[hangs up]
[talking to caller on a suicide hotline]
Philip: May I put you on hold while I run to my desk? Uh...you're not calling from a bridge or holding a weapon?
Hotline Caller: No.
Philip: Good.
[on the phone]
Philip: Just remember that in every pothole there is hope. Well, you see, pothole is spelled P-O-T-H-O-L-E. So if you take the P, and add it to the H, the O, and the E, and rearrange the letters...or contrariwise, you remove the O, T, and the L, you get "hope". So, just remember, in every pothole there is hope!
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Mrs. Munchnik: Well I'm simply crushed. Here I have waited my whole life for you, and now you don't even want me. Do go on! I believe you were discussing my cherry? (caller hangs up) I am so good at this, and soon I will be left high and dry, with no outlet for my talent.
Mrs. Munchnik: And, where do you suppose Philiip is?
Catherine O'Shaughnessy: I'm sure he'll be here shortly.
Mrs. Munchnik: Playing around probably.
Catherine O'Shaughnessy: That's very unfair, Mrs. Munchnik. Philip is completely true to Susan.
Mrs. Munchnik: Men aren't true to anything, they will have sex with a tree.
Christmas with the Kranks (2004)
Nora Krank: We skip Christmas!
Spike Frohmeyer: You're skipping Christmas! Isn't that against the law?
Spike Frohmeyer: Are you sure this isn't illegal?
Luther Krank: Are you a cop?
Blair Krank: I'm bringing home Enriqué!
Luther Krank: What's a reeké?
