Albums Reviewed 03: They Might Be Giants

They Might Be Giants

I love TMBG's bizarre sense of humor. But there's a thin line between being delightfully bizarre and just being irritatingly pointless. I think their first album strays too much on the wrong side of the line, especially in songs like "Toddler Hiway", "Rabid Child", "Boat of Car", "Chess Piece Face", and "The Day." There are some great songs on this album, though, as you'll see in my favorites. It's kinda weak, but not bad for a debut album.

Favorite songs: Don't Let's Start, Nothing's Gonna Change My Clothes, She's an Angel

Favorite lyrics:
The bitterly depressing "No one in this world ever gets what they want, and that is beautiful. Everybody dies frustrated and sad, and that is beautiful." (Don't Let's Start)

"And the mirror, it reflects a tiny dancing skeleton, surrounded by a fleshy overcoat and swaddled in a furry hat, elastic mask, a pair of shiny marble dice. Some people call them snake eyes, but to me, they look like mice. And nothing's smelling like a rose, but I don't care if no one's coming up for air. I know nothing's gonna change my clothes every anymore" (Nothing's Gonna Change My Clothes)

"Why did they send her over anyone else? How should I react? These things happen to other people. They don't happen at all, in fact." (She's an Angel)

"Hats off to the new age hairstyle made of bones. Hats off to the use of hats as megaphones. Speak softly, drive a Sherman tank, laugh hard, it's a long way to the bank" (Rhythm Secion Want Ad)

"A rich man once told me, 'Hey, life's a funny thing.' A poor man once told me that he can't afford to speak. Now I'm in the middle like a bird without a beak, 'cause there's just two songs in me, and I just wrote the third" (Number Three)

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Lincoln

This is a great album, the right step to make from their first album. They've kept the bizarreness, but the songs are just plain better, both in lyrics and in music. "Ana Ng" is the biggest hit from this album, but my personal favorite, and one of my favorite TMBG songs of all-time, is "They'll Need a Crane." The only bad song on this album is "You'll Miss Me", which is sung all weirdly.

Favorite songs: They'll Need a Crane, Ana Ng, Where Your Eyes Don't Go

Favorite lyrics:
"They don't need me here, and I know you're there, where the world goes by like the humid air, and it sticks like a broken record, everything sticks like a broken record, everything sticks until it goes away, and the truth is we don't know anything" (Ana Ng)

"Every jumbled pile of person has a thinking part that wonders what the part that isn't thinking isn't thinking of" (Where Your Eyes Don't Go) ~ one of my favorite TMBG lyrics of all time

"Don't call me at work again, no no, the boss still hates me, and I'm tired, and I don't love you anymore. And there's a restaurant we should check out where the other nightmare people like to go, I mean nice people, baby wait, I didn't mean to say nightmare" (They'll Need a Crane)

"You made my day, now you have to sleep in it, now you have to sleep in it. I love the world and if I have to sue for custody, I will sue for custody" (Stand on Your Own Head)

"I shouted out, 'Free the Expo 67' till they stepped on my head, and they told me I was fat. Now I'm very big, I'm a big important man, and the only thing that's different is underneath my hat" (Purple Toupee)

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Flood

"Flood" is probably their most popular album, and an excellent follow-up to the great "Lincoln." It contains what is probably their biggest hits, "Particle Man" and "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)", which I love, but not as much as some of the other awesome songs on "Flood." Not that the album is without flaws. "Hearing Aid" is a terrible song. "Minimum Wage" is funny the first few times you hear it, but after that, it gets kinda boring. Also, the last three tracks are not as good as the first 16 for some reason. However, let's not be so negative; "Flood" includes a lot of great songs.

Favorite songs: Birdhouse in Your Soul, Dead, Letterbox

Favorite lyrics:
"Blue canary in the outlet by the light-switch, who watches over you. Make a little birdhouse in your soul. Not to put too fine a point on it, say I'm the only bee in your bonnet. Make a little birdhouse in your soul." (Birdhouse in Your Soul)

"Did a large procession wave their torches as my head fell in the basket, and was everybody dancin' on the casket? Now it's over, I'm dead, and I haven't done anything that I want, or I'm still alive and there's nothing I wanna do" (Dead)

"If I had a pair of eyes in the back of my head for each time you forgot to take out all the things you forgot to talk about when you took a bite out of my spine, I would have a lot of eyes on me by this time, wouldn't I, wouldn't that just be fine" (Letterbox)

"A man came up to me and said 'I'd like to change your mind by hitting it with a rock,' he said,
'though I am not unkind.' We laughed at his little joke and then I happily walked away and hit my head on the wall of the jail where the two of us live today." (Whistling in the Dark)

"Is he a dot, or is he a speck? When he's underwater, does he get wet? Or does the water get him instead? Nobody knows. Particle Man." (Particle Man)

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Miscellaneous T: The B-Side / Remix Compilation

Jeez, if you thought their self-titled album was strange, just wait till you hear the B-sides to the singles of that album. This is not a great album, but it was never intended to be; it was just a way for people to hear the B-sides to their albums and some other rarities. So I guess I can forgive them when songs like "Hello Radio" and "The Famous Polka" kinda suck or when the "alternate version" of "Kiss Me, Son of God" isn't really all that different from the original version. But I cannot forgive them for the Joshua Fried Remix of "The World's Address", which is the worst song TMBG have ever released. That said, there are a few really awesome songs on here, as you will see below.

Favorite songs (actually, only good songs): It's Not My Birthday, Nightgown of the Sullen Moon, Hey Mr. DJ I Thought You Said We Had a Deal

Favorite lyrics:
"I could never sleep my way to the top, 'cause my alarm clock always wakes me right up" (Hey Mr. DJ...)

"Drug trip, it's not a drug trip so you feel a bit insulted. Space walk, it's like a space walk with the corresponding weight loss. And you're nothing but air, with your hand in the air, and your shoelaces tied up together with care" (Nightgown in the Sullen Moon)

"It's not my birthday, it's not today. It's not my birthday, so why do you lunge out at me? When the word comes down, 'Never more will be around', though I wish you were there, I was less than we could bear, and I'm not the only dust my mother raised." (It's Not My Birthday)

"I will kiss the girl from Venus, for science! I'm so brave. I'm so brave. I'll be her love slave" (For Science)

"And the microscope reveals the scope of my very best intentions. Oh yes, the tiny light shines twice as bright on the only nice part of me" (Birds Fly)

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Apollo 18

Not one of their best albums, but there certainly is a lot to like here. Many of the songs are very good, but none are great. The biggest hit on this song is "She's Actual Size", which I like, but it's far from my favorite song. I like the bizarre death-obsessed "Turn Around" or the live favorite "The Guitar." "Spider" is also a very twisted song. But my favorite song on this album is "Narrow Your Eyes", which is a damn good song, but not a great one. Still, there's something to be said for consistency, and none of the songs on this album are bad, which is something I couldn't say about "Lincoln" or "Flood."

Favorite songs: Narrow Your Eyes, I Palindrome I, My Evil Twin

"I don't want to change your mind, I don't want to think about your mind. They say love is blind. I don't think you're blind" (Narrow Your Eyes)

"Someday mother will die and I'll get the money. Mom leans down and says, 'My sentiments exactly, you son of a bitch.'" (I Palindrome I)

"Who cut the arm off the voodoo doll that resembles a Republican president from long ago? I'd hate to see you leave 'cause I have grown so grateful for the blame you saved me from" (My Evil Twin)

"I don't want a pizza, I don't want a piece of peanut brittle, I don't want a pear, I don't want a bagel, I don't want a bean, I wouldn't like a bag of beef or a beer or a cup of chowder, corn, cake, or creamed cauliflower, 'cause I'm waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing, dinner bell dinner bell ring" (Dinner Bell)

"I was working all night at my office when a man I had recently killed called me up from a phone near my building, so I looked out the window at him. He had the same obsequious manner that was the reason I had him killed." (Turn Around)

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John Henry

If Flood is their most popular album and Lincoln is their greatest, John Henry has got to be my personal favorite. It contains one of my very favorite songs of all time, "The End of the Tour", a song about a fatal car crash. But that's not the only reason to like the album. There's only one bad song (Stomp Box), and some of these songs are bloody brilliant. Just check out the lyrics to "Snail Shell" (very witty) or "The End of the Tour" (beautiful). Or listen to the awesome music to "No One Knows My Plan" or "Sleeping in the Flowers." And there are other great songs too, like "Destination Moon", or "Spy", or "I Should Be Allowed to Think", or "Out of Jail", or AKA Driver", etc. I also like "Extra Savoir-Faire": "savoir-faire" is French for "to know what to do", meaning someone would have the know-how to know how to handle any situation; however, in this song, the singer paradoxically asks, "What's a man like me supposed to do with all this extra savoir-faire?" I can't tell you how many times I've listened to this album.

Favorite songs: The End of the Tour, Destination Moon, No One Knows My Plan (the 1st one has the best lyrics on the album, the 3rd one has the best music on the album, and the 2nd one has a nice balance)

Favorite lyrics: (sorry, but I can't just pick 5 here)
"At the end of the tour, where the road disappears. If there's anymore people around when the tour runs aground, and if you're still around, then we'll meet at the end of the tour. The engagements are booked through the end of the world, so we'll meet at the end of the tour. And we're never gonna tour again, no we're never gonna tour again" (The End of the Tour)

"Thank you for the card with the cartoon nurse, but you see, there's nothing wrong with me. You think, 'That's what you think, that's what they all say', before I blow you away." (Destination Moon)

"Friend, look what you gave, and how can you ever be repaid? How may I give you a hand from the position at your feet where I stand? So let me thank you for putting me back in my snail shell" (Snail Shell)

"Standing in my yard where they tore down the garage to make room for the torn-down garage" (A Self Called Nowhere)

"When I made a shadow on my window shade, they called the police and testified. But they're like the people chained up in the cave in the allegory of the people in the cave by the Greek guy" (No One Knows My Plan)

"'Do you smile 'cause I'm funny?' said the man. 'I wasn't joking and I meant the thing I said.' 'Not at all, not at all,' said the woman to the man, 'I was thinking of an unrelated thing'" (Unrelated Thing)

"Big hand's on 120, little hand's on E" (AKA Driver)

"I am not allowed to ever come up with a single original thought. I am not allowed to meet the criminal government agent who oppresses me" (I Should Be Allowed To Think)

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Factory Showroom

My, this is a curious album. First of all, it only contains 13 tracks, as opposed to the usual 17-20 for TMBG. Second of all, it contains a song called "I Can Hear You", recorded at the Edison Laboratories on an Edison wax cylinder recorder. This song is fun to hear...once. After that, it gets old. There are some big hits here, like "SEXXY" (a disturbing song about a man who tries to have sex with a transvestite whom he mistakenly believes to be a woman), "Till My Head Falls Off" (a song about suicide), and "New York City" (a song about a man who loves NYC and his girlfriend who lives there). There's also a wonderful song called "Spiraling Shape", which appears to be about a tourist trap that causes visitors to go insane. And then we have "Bells Are Ringing", which appears to be a cross between a Christmas carol and the story of the Pied Piper. And the really strange "Exquisite Dead Guy." A very good album.

Favorite songs: Till My Head Falls Off, New York City, Spiraling Shape

Favorite lyrics:
"X because it's extra, baby. Y because it's extra, baby. Unnoticed by few, very very few, and that includes you" (SEXXY)

"Hitting every pocket on my shirt, pants, and overcoat, and I'm hitting them again, but I don't know where I put my notes. Clearing my throat and gripping the lectern, I smile and face my audience clearing his throat and smiling with his hands on the bathroom sink" (Till My Head Falls Off)

"This could lead to excellence or serious injury. Only one way to know: go, go go. Go ahead, wreck your life, that might be good. Who can say what's wrong or right? Nobody can" (Spiralling Shape)

"'Cause everyone's your friend in New York City, and everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty. The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see, but the best thing about New York City is you and me" (New York City)

"Exquisite dead guy, rotating in his display case. Exquisite dead guy, swear I saw his mouth move" (Exquisite Dead Guy)

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Then: The Earlier Years

Okay. I admit it. I've been cheating. I don't really own the debut album, or Lincoln, or Miscellaneous T. I only own Then: The Earlier Years, which gives ya all three of those albums plus some really crappy bonus tracks. It was a good compilation that saved me the money and hassle of buying all 3 albums separately; unfortunately, right now, I'm only going to rate the bonus tracks. There are 19 bonus tracks, and there are 2.5 decent songs. "Weep Day" is decent, "Now That I Have Everything" is decent, and "The Big Big Whoredom" is half-decent. I don't think it's appropriate to do favorites here. If you're a TMBG fan and you don't have They Might Be Giants, Lincoln, or Miscellaneous T, I would recommend getting Then. Listen to the bonus tracks once. Only once.

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Severe Tire Damage

Their live album. It has live versions of various songs, and then some extra tracks. Do they sound better live? Eh. The studio versions of "Ana Ng" and "Meet James Ensor" are better, and the live versions of "Spider" and "Birdhouse in Your Soul" are better. For the rest, I could go either way (except for some of the new tracks, which I'll get to in a minute). This album also includes the studio version of "Doctor Worm", which is awesome; "Severe Tire Damage Theme", which is a 30-second instrumental; "Why Does the Sun Shine?", which kicks arse; "About Me", a throwaway track; a bunch of incomprehensible tracks about the Planet of the Apes, where it's impossible to understand anything they're saying; and live versions of "They Got Lost" and "First Kiss", both of which are awesome, but both of which appear on later albums, and the studio versions suck. I don't think it's appropriate to do favorite songs here, but I'll write up some favorite lyrics from the previously unreleased tracks.

Favorite lyrics:
"Some day, somebody else besides me will call me by my stage name, they will call me Doctor Worm, good morning, how are you? I'm Doctor Worm" (Doctor Worm)

"I heard they might be somewhere near this town. They Might Be Giants got lost driving around" (They Got Lost)

"But we decided long ago, we'd build a time machine and go, how 'bout another first kiss kiss kiss, yeah? I want another first kiss" (First Kiss) ~ in the studio version, they take out the reference to the time machine

"We need its light, we need its heat, we need its energy. Without the sun, without a doubt, there'd be no you and me" (Why Does the Sun Shine?)

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Long Tall Weekend

Um, OK, why did they release this album only on mp3 format online? That's a dumb idea. Were they just not too proud of this album or something? That's a shame, there are plenty of good songs here. Then again, there are plenty of bad songs too, like the crappy studio version of "They Got Lost", "Rat Patrol", and "Maybe I Know", which sounds nothing like TMBG have ever done before, and I mean that in a bad way. Then there's "On Earth My Nina." John Linnell claimed to have reversed the song "Thunderbird" and written words that sounded like the backwards song. As you can tell, it's completely bizarre and nonsensical, but I like it. Except for one thing: if you reverse "On Earth My Nina", the lyrics sound nothing like the lyrics to "Thunderbird." It just sounds like John is mumbling incomprehensibly. The only word you can make out is the word "Thunderbird." However, there are still some good songs here, but it's not a great album.

Favorite songs: Dark and Metric, Certain People I Could Name, Lullaby to Nightmares

Favorite lyrics:
"Just because you're floating doesn't mean you haven't drowned" (Dark and Metric)

"Who is it like? Doesn't it strike you as the very image of someone we know? Isn't it so like certain people? How could anybody miss the obvious and the uncanny and the clear resemblance? Isn't he just like certain people I could name?" (Certain People I Could Name)

"Underneath a shady tree, a shadow sitting next to me, and we stare at the sun" (Lullaby to Nightmares)

"You're older than you've ever been, and now you're even older, and now you're even older, and now you're even older, you're older than you've ever been, and now you're even older, and now you're older still" (Older)

"God forbid a vaguer feat. National hell mock me. Saaaaaay the sparrow wants a morbid arrow. Here's a quarter, that's the one I want. Maybe I'll buy the whirlwind that always keeps me yearning." (On Earth My Nina)

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Mink Car

This album is good once you make a few changes. First of all, what is this techno crap that TMBG are getting into lately? Get rid of "Mr. Xcitement", "Wicked Little Critta", and "I've Got a Fang"; these songs are techno and they suck. Next, take off "Another First Kiss", the stupid studio version of the great version on Severe Tire Damage. Finally, remove "Older" and "She Thinks She's Edith Head", which are from Long Tall Weekend; apparently, TMBG wants us to hear these tracks, but if they wanted that, they should've released Long Tall Weekend on CD in stores. OK, once you do that, you have 11 good tracks. But I shouldn't have to cut their albums down so much in order to enjoy them. Therefore, I declare that They Might Be Giants have officially jumped the shark. But hey, some of the songs are still quite good:

Favorite songs: Bangs, Hovering Sombrero, Working Undercover for the Man

Favorite lyrics:
"Don't be burdened by regrets or make your failures an obsession or become embittered or possessed by ruined hopes. Remember when you take yourself for granted, feel rejected and unwanted, know you're never just a hat, you're never only just a hat, you know" (Hovering Sombrero)

"And although I like you anyway, check out your haircut: a proscenium to stage a face that needs no makeup. Bangs are that on which the world hangs. I'm only holding your hand so I can look at your bangs" (Bangs)

"I've been working hard, trying to sing and play guitar, growing out my hair and practicing my stare. Paid to fake it in a traveling band, and I'm working undercover for the man" (Working Undercover For the Man)

Note: All through the song, John had talked about how all his life, he was plagued with hopeless bleak despair, but one day it disappears: "For years and years I wandered the earth, until I died and went to hell, but my despair had ascended to heaven, that's how I finally got rid of it" (Hopeless Bleak Despair)

"I tell ya how to cyclops rock, and then you go and turn around and break my heard, and waste my cyclops time, and mess up my cyclops mind" (Cyclops Rock)

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No!

Don't fall into the trap that I did. This is not an album that can be appreciated by both kids and adults. This is a kiddie album. I wouldn't mind it so much that TMBG put out a kiddie album, if they didn't play songs from it at their concerts. Why must they do that?

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They Got Lost

This album is just a collection of miscellaneous oddities. But then again, they didn't really intend it to be a "real" album. The best songs on here are the ones from the Working Undercover For the Man single. They also put 5 more songs on here from "Long Tall Weekend." Then there are some really random songs. I can't recommend this compilation of rarities to anyone besides diehard TMBG fans. My favorites here cannot include any of the Long Tall Weekend songs:

Favorite songs: Rest Awhile, On the Drag, Truth in Your Words

Favorite lyrics:

"And I know there's truth in your words, buried inside of your words. Yeah, I've learned a thing or two from hard times spent with you" (Truth in Your Words)

"'I won't die until I'm dead,' were the first words that he said." (On the Drag)

"I got rid of my jackets and coats, I threw out all of my pants. I got rid of my stinkin' clothes, I had to get rid of them. I'm not yet considering replacing them, I'm only glad to be rid of them so rest awhile, rest awhile" (Rest Awhile)

"The Chopping Block spends their days growing oranges and picking oranges, then working on graphic design" (Oranges) ~ nothing more than a theme song for a web site called The Chopping Block, but it is a catchy little ditty

"What went wrong? Should've rehearsed more and talked about the song sequence. Disappointing show" (Disappointing Show) ~ this song was improvised at one show that didn't go very well

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Indestructible Object [EP]

This EP gets me excited for the upcoming 2004 release of Spine, which will include "Memo to Human Resources" and "Au Contraire" from this album. The former is a wonderfully depressing song; the latter is a slight but very fun and bizarre song. Although I must admit that my favorite song on this EP is the one that originally showed up on the Istanbul EP (which I don't have) - "Ant", a song that slowly builds to its climax that sounds like a volcano eruption. What else is on this EP? There's a song called "Am I Awake?" which is another electronic song, though it's pretty good, certainly much better than the ones on Mink Car - maybe because of the more interesting lyrics or the hypnotic music. And then we have a decent but unremarkable cover of "Caroline No." Overall, though, this definitely shows some promise for the future. I've got my fingers crossed. As this is only 5 songs, I'm not going to do any favorite songs / lyrics here.

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The Spine

The Spine is an attempt for They Might Be Giants to return to form. The music sounds a bit like Apollo 18-era They Might Be Giants. However, the lyrics have really suffered in the past ten years. Let’s look at all the songs. “Spine” and “Spines” are fun songs, but as each is only 30 seconds long, let’s set them aside for the moment. Some of the songs started off as good concepts, but these concepts were not really developed, and instead replaced with some unrelated nonsense lyrics, such as “Broke in Two” or “Prevenge” (which is about a guy who has a date to go to a concert, but he knows that his girl is going to ditch him and he’s going to have a bad time, so he gets pre-revenge by screwing up the plans). And some songs are just plain stupid or nonsensical, like “Bastard Wants to Hit Me” and “Wearing a Raincoat” (“Needing a friend to talk you down / Is food that comes from a pipe”). Then there’s “Stalk of Wheat”, which is actually about a man who feels isolated and lost, but you’d never be able to tell with lyrics like “I was all out of luck (like a duck), like a duck that died / I was all out of juice (like a moose), like a moose denied.” But don’t worry, it’s not all bad. The two songs from the Indestructible Object EP (“Memo to Human Resources” and “Au Contraire”) are still wonderful. Also, though many people seemed to prefer John Flansburgh’s party songs, such as “Damn Good Times” and “It’s Kickin’ In” (which the AMG called one of TMBG’s best rock songs in a while; personally, I think Heather Phares is on crack), I prefer his quieter moments – “The World Before Later On” and “I Can’t Hide From My Mind” are great songs, in my opinion. John Linnell hits a few winners here too, with “Experimental Film”, “Thunderbird”, and the wonderful “Museum of Idiots.” Along with “Damn Good Times” (which is actually a pretty good song), those eight songs are pretty much all this album has to offer. And when you consider two of them were on the EP, and “Experimental Film” is available with a nifty video at www.homestarrunner.com/expfilm.html, that leaves five songs. TMBG may still have a comeback in them, but this ain't it. The melodies are still as catchy as ever, and they're not out of ideas (despite what "Stalk of Wheat" would have you believe), but they have gotten really lazy about writing interesting lyrics.

Favorite songs (for some variety, I'm excluding the two songs from the EP): Museum of Idiots, Experimental Film, I Can't Hide From My Mind

Favorite lyrics (since I already discussed my least favorite lyrics in the actual review):

"Chop me into pieces, if it pleases, if it pleases. And when the chopping's through, every piece will say, 'I love you.' Every piece of me will say, 'I love you', here in the museum of idiots" (Museum of Idiots)

"I don't know what makes your face implode, but that's the way the movie ends" (Experimental Film)

"Then the people came to talk me down, and I got some advice. Then the people came to talk me down, but I don't need advice, I'm down" (Memo to Human Resources)

"The bars are in my eyes, and kisses make you cry. Smiles turned out misleading and memory's a lie" (I Can't Hide From My Mind)

"Before you fall, you have to learn to crawl. You can't see heaven when you're standing tall" (Thunderbird)