The Biggest Movie Douchebags

Submitted by podizz on Sun, 12/28/2008 - 10:11
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  1. Biff Tannen
  2. Back to the Future
  3. "Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here?"
  4. Shooter McGavin
  5. Happy Gilmore
  6. "Damn you people. Go back to your shanties"
  7. Sensei John Kreese
  8. The Karate Kid
  9. "Sweep the Leg" (Toss up between him and Johnny. Johnny comes around in the end though)
  10. Walter Peck
  11. Ghostbusters
  12. "Frankly there have been a lot of wild stories in the media and we want to assess any possible environmental impact from your operation like the presence of noxious, possibly hazardous waste chemical in your basement. Now either you show me what is down there or I come back with a court order."
  13. Fred O'Bannion
  14. Dazed and Conused
  15. "Y'all ready to bust some ass?"
  16. Clark
  17. Good Will Hunting
  18. "I was just hoping you might give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the southern colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War, the economic modalities, especially in the southern colonies, could most aptly be characterized as agrarian precapitalism..."
  19. Bill Lumbergh- Office Space "Oh, oh, and I almost forgot. Ahh, I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too..."
  20. Percy
  21. The Green Mile
  22. "I didn't know the sponge was supposed to be wet."
  23. Ernie McCracken
  24. Kingpin
  25. "Do me a favor, will you? Would you mind washing off that perfume before you come back to our table?"
  26. Eric Gordon
  27. Billy Madison
  28. "Well, 'sorry' doesn't put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach now, does it Carl?"
  29. Caledon Hockley
  30. Titanic
  31. "Where are you going? To him? To be a whore to a gutter rat?"
  32. Charlie Dillon
  33. School Ties
  34. "You know something? I'm still gonna get into Harvard. And in 10 years no one will remember any of this. But you'll still be a goddamn Jew."
  35. Harry Ellis
  36. Die Hard
  37. "Hey babe, I negotiate million dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Eurotrash. "
  38. Dean Gordon 'Cheese' Pritchard
  39. Old School
  40. "This is me leaving."
  41. Prince Humperdinck
  42. The Princess Bride
  43. "Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I'm swamped."
  44. Mike Damone
  45. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
  46. "I think I just came... didn't you feel it?"
  47. Principal Ed Rooney
  48. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
  49. "I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind."
  50. Judge Smails
  51. Caddyshack
  52. "Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too."
  53. Stan Gable
  54. Revenge of the Nerds
  55. "What are you looking at, nerd?"
  56. Pat Healy
  57. There's Something About Mary
  58. "Those goofy bastards are about the best thing I've got going"
  59. Carter Burke- Aliens
  60. Douglas C. Neidermeyer- Animal House
  61. Richard- Van Wilder
  62. Stifler- American Pie
  63. Ace Merrill- Stand By Me
Author Comments: 

http://definitivedose.com

Rushmore12/29/2008

Don't want to seem like i'm just suggesting die hard stuff but...

Harry Ellis needs to be here!

podizz12/30/2008

tru..

AfterHours05/18/2011

Of course, Albert from the extraordinary film The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover (played by Michael Gambon in the performance of a lifetime) is the all time winner. Check these out:

"What are you doing in there, Georgie? You playin' with yourself? That's not allowed. That's my property, you're not allowed to fiddle with it. Now come on, open the door, I'll show you how to wipe yourself."

"I think those Ethiopians enjoy starving. Keeps them thin and graceful."

"Circumsized mediocrity is screwing my wife!"

"Roy! This is my wife, Georgina Spica. She's got a heart of gold and a body to match. I am Albert Spica and I have a heart of gold and a great deal of money to match. And you are Roy, who's got absolutely nothing, except what you owe me."

"Or next time I'll make you eat your own shit after forcing it through your dick like toothpaste."

"Georgie, you got ash on your tits.
If you're gonna wear black, don't smoke."

"Protection, Boarst, against the rash temper of my men. Against a sudden arrival of food poisoning. Against rats. Against the public health inspector."

"No, you don't eat it like that! Let me show you.
Oh. Imagine you are sucking the little fingers of a lady or... No, you'd never get that close to a lady. Who'd wanna get that close to you?"

"Look at your jacket, it's like a pig field.
And your nails could do with a clean. Show me.
Gawd. Why can't I have some bloody quality
in my associates? From now on, anyone not properly dressed for dinner will pay for it."

"Georgina! Welcome back. Did you wipe the seat
before you parked your bum? You never know what you can catch these days. Every toilet seat is a minefield."

"Iris got a canker on her bum from sitting on a loo seat. The mechanic across the road poured battery acid down the WO to clear it. Some of it splashed on the seat. Iris ran screaming into the street, her backside hissing. She hasn't been the same since. She strips the same but never with her back to the audience. She had to change her act. Now it's more full-frontal."

Perhaps the most offensive, unlikeable character in all of film. There are probably a hundred more on the level of those above.