005: 2010 Golden Globe Awards Review

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series, or Motion Picture Made for Television

There’s not much to say about this one. Of course, everyone not in Hollywood wanted Jane Lynch to win for Glee but, like I said long ago, Glee was not going to win any acting awards. Is Lynch hilarious on the show? Yes. But then again, she’s been one of my favorite supporting actresses for years (if you’re a Gleek interested in seeing more of her check out The 40 Year Old Virgin or Role Models). Chloë Sevigny won for Big Love, which I’m indifferent about because I don’t actually watch the show. Everyone seemed excited though so I guess she deserved it. I’m definitely glad Rose Byrne got a nomination. She’s really talented but nobody knows it. Based on the look on her face when they were calling her name as one of the nominees I don’t think she does either.

Verdict: Indifferent

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series, or Motion Picture Made for Television

My personal opinion is that they made a major error not including someone from True Blood. They had their pick of amazingly talented actors to include. Ryan Kwanten, who plays Jason Stackhouse had an extra challenge this year. While last season he essentially was just naked the entire time in the second season he becomes involved in some vampire-hating church cult. Plus, he said the line several people have said was the best line of television this year: “If a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, it’s still a tree ain’t it?” Jason Stackhouse, we salute you. Or if they had to deprive us of him they could have at least resorted to using Alexander Skarsgård as the heartless vampire who falls in love with Sookie or the hilarious Nelson Ellis as Lafayette. But apparently the Hollywood Foreign Press would rather nominate the same old crowd. The winner was Lord Farquad John Lithgow for Dexter. I don’t watch the show so I can’t comment on him in particular. However, to have beaten Neil Patrick Harris for How I Met Your Mother and Jeremy Piven for Entourage was a bit of a shock.

Verdict: Ryan Kwanten wins. Just kidding.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Drama

I am really not a television person. Or at least not someone who watches the kind of shows that get nominated here. So Juliana Margulies wins for The Good Wife. The only show I watch is True Blood and even I admit that Anna Paquin, while she deserved to win last year (and did) should just be thankful to be nominated. This category is actually really boring but I have to wonder why January Jones was nominated. If she acts anything like her failed attempt at hosting Saturday Night Live I am very concerned about whoever votes for these things.

Verdict: Indifferent

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Drama

Michael C. Hall won because he has cancer. Just kidding. Even if that is the case his speech and his wife’s
expression were so touching it doesn’t matter. I don’t watch Dexter but everybody else does and apparently he’s really good. I really am just kidding about the cancer thing. Nomination ballots were due weeks ago and he just announced the condition last week. Plus it was nice to see Hugh Laurie not win for a change.

Verdict: Indifferent

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy

Did anyone else think Courtney Cox was going to win this? No, you all though Lea Michele would for Glee. That is not going to happen and she’s lucky just to be nominated. When they didn’t call Courtney Cox or Tina Fey I was actually really surprised but I’ve enjoyed Toni Collette’s work in the past and she looked gorgeous so good for her.

Verdict: Indifferent

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy

WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE ALEC BALDWIN? He is such a douche. I can’t believe he’s hosting my beloved Oscars and that he won another award. All personal feelings aside though, the category pretty much came down to him or Steve Carell. I prefer Michael Scott.

Verdict: Angry, but not Bear Jew angry

Does anybody care if I skip the mini series’? It’s not like anybody actually cares or even watches them. Although I will say that Drew Barrymore is the cutest girl ever, especially when she’s so overcome with gratitude it makes her look mentally challenged.

Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy

If you were shocked that Glee won please crawl back under your rock. Although I actually love all the shows nominated you should have known what was going to win. Entourage is dying, The Office is getting old and 30 Rock always wins. Modern Family is actually hilarious but doesn’t have nearly enough of an audience to beat Glee. Although when the guy accepting said ‘This is for anyone who ever got beat up at school’ or whatever I couldn’t help but look at the cast. Cory Monteith and Mark Salling are completely drool-worthy and Dianna Agron is a total knockout. I guess Lea Michele was pretty too. But the very thought of these people being shoved in lockers is a laugh in itself.

Verdict: Pleased and unsurprised

Best Television Series – Drama

When Mad Men won I started singing Saturday Night Live’s version of the song. Why does everybody like this show? I tried watching it once and it was sooooo boring. And then there’s True Blood which everyone watches and talks about and has amazing rating for HBO. Poor True Blood.

Verdict: Angry

Best Foreign Language Film

Am I surprised Das Weisse Band won? Not in the least. I saw it on the festival circuit and it kept winning Best Picture. But it’s actually kind of boring. And the creepiest thing about it is that you keep waiting for something really bad to happen and it never does. That’s a lie; the creepiest thing is when you think about it afterwards and put all the pieces together. But Michael Haneke has done so much better in the past. Seriously, see Funny Games. Or Caché. What should have won? Los Abrozos Rotos a.k.a. Broken Embraces. It’s a Pedro Almodóvar film and therefore terrific. Plus Penelope Cruz is in it and she is a goddess of film. It’s touching and funny and sad and scary. And unfortunately didn’t win.

Verdict: Upset but not surprised

Best Animated Film

Up won. Up deserved it. I hate anything animated and can watch that movie over and over again. And, seeing how I’m always looking after four year old twins, I do. And there’s always something new to laugh out.

Verdict: Agree wholeheartedly

Best Original Score

I’m torn on this one. On the one hand, Up’s score is one that really sticks with you. But the score for A Single Man is absolutely beautiful and haunting, just like the film. Can’t both win?

Verdict: Still trying to figure that out…

Best Original Song

What a terrible selection. This category right here is evidence of how much people want ratings. They’ve got U2 nominated for Brothers. My dad, who is a huge U2 fan, actually thought it was a real song. Not a soundtrack song. At best they’re trying to make up for the fact that The Hands That Built America was awesome and got shunned in 2002. No awards ceremony is complete without a Beatle so they nominated a Paul McCartney song from some stupid movie nobody actually liked. They nominated Cinema Italiano from Nine which everybody thinks of as a MTV number while ignoring the other new song, Take It All, which says everything the movie wants to. And the winner? I can’t actually comment on it because I’ve never heard it.

Verdict: Integrity should trump ratings. It doesn’t.

Best Screenplay – Motion Picture

Jason Reitman was right: we’re all still waiting for Quentin Tarantino’s name to be called. Sure, Up in the Air is a really good movie. But there’s a reason the Oscars divides its scripts between Adapted and Original. The film is written well but adapted from a novel which does half the work for you. Tarantino on the other hand spent a decade writing a script about a group of Jewish American soldiers running around France scalping Nazis. He re-wrote history while Jason Reitman re-wrote a novel.

Verdict: Here that smacking noise? That’s Sgt. Donny Donnowitz. But you might know him better by his nickname.

Best Director

Cameron? James Cameron? Kill me now. Was it Canadian night or something? First Tarantino gets beaten by Jason Reitman, then James Cameron?

Verdict: Slowly losing faith in the Globes but not exactly surprised

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

I guess people were wrong about Mo’Nique’s divatude getting in the way of winning awards. But her speech was so annoying. Her mouth might be talking about God but her head is saying ‘Nyah nyah! Look what I’ve got! And I didn’t even have to shave my legs!’. There was no way Penelope Cruz could have won. Marion Cotillard could have (more on that later). I actually thought Anna Kendrick was going to win. She’s been doing quite well in awards season this year. The critics ones at least. It’s actually kind of weird to think that the only other thing people know her from really is a minor role in Twilight. Take that Holy Trinity. You may get the big bucks but Anna Kendrick gets the awards.

Verdict: Fail

Best Perfomance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Thank God. I was starting to worry he wouldn’t win. Every single person that won a Golden Globe tonight should hand there’s over to Christoph Waltz because he deserves all of them. Rarely has there been such an amazing performance. He is an acting god who came out of German obscurity. And his acceptance speech was the best of the night. I am so ridiculously proud of him. An Oscar awaits, guaranteed…
Side Note: Stanley Tucci was great too. I love him. He’s definitely second place.
Verdict: Knocked it out of the park

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy

MERYL STREEP! I seriously can’t stand her. I probably could if she didn’t get nominated for Every. Single. Breath. She. Takes. Nobody is that good. And to get two nominations? Two?!?! In the same category? Its infuriating. Although apparently she was actually good in Julie & Julia but even her fans don’t understand the It’s Complicated nomination. Moving along to the bone I have to pick with Harvey Weinstein. Everybody knows he likes the get as many nominations as possible in as many categories as possible. Unfortunately by doing this his actors are never going to win. Like Marion Cotillard. I am not a fan and yet loved her performance in Nine. Sure, so did the Hollywood Foreign Press but she’s a supporting role placed in a leading category. The second those nominations came out it was like ‘Sorry dear. Not a chance.’ People don’t seem to realize that bad marketing can absolutely murder somebody’s chances.

Verdict: At least I expected it. Julia Roberts would have been worse.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy

Excuse me? Robert Downey Jr. for Sherlock Holmes? The movie is entertaining at best and (sorry Rob you know I love you) he was not at his best. A Globe for Tropic Thunder? Hell yes. Even Iron Man would have been acceptable. I love all my future husbands equally so I say this without bias: Joseph Gordon-Levitt should have won. He gave one of the best performances of the year and has remained consistent throughout the decade+ he’s been working. Oh well. He’s going to win the Independent Spirit Award at least. To be fair, Robert Downey Jr.’s acceptance speech was the best laugh of the night. I really hope he winged it because it’s so much funnier that way.

Verdict: Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama

How is it I’ve not seen any of these movies? Sandra Bullock should always win awards because she’s apparently a really good laugh. And looked lovely. I still don’t think she deserved it. I thought Carey Mulligan would win. Although she’s under twenty-five. And English. You know, for the Hollywood Foreign Press they really don’t seem to like foreigners. Just look at the winners (Cristoph Waltz doesn’t count. He speaks so many languages nobody really knows where he’s from).

Verdict: Indifferent

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama

Has anybody actually seen Crazy Heart or did they look at the ballot, think ‘I should vote for what I do not know in order to not seem stupid’ and check off the Jeff Bridges box. That’s the only reason I can see him winning. And why did everyone give him a standing ovation? He just played some weird guy in Men That Stare At Goats (a.k.a. You’d Rather Stare At Goats Than Watch This Movie) and now he’s winning a Golden Globe for a movie nobody has heard of? On the other hand he thanked my BFF Maggie Gyllenhaal in the speech so it’s not all that bad. I thought George Clooney had it. Colin Firth was pretty good in A Single Man but I knew he didn’t have a shot. Tobey Maguire I actually considered a dark horse. I can’t stand the guy but his performance in Brothers was amazing. I know everybody says he only got it because of the party Leonardo DiCaprio threw him but he actually really deserved it.

Verdict: Since you people clearly couldn’t decide who was good enough for this award couldn’t you just give it to Quentin Tarantino for his performance as First Scalped Nazi?

Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy

What do tigers dream of? I can’t believe the beardy guy wasn’t there! And that The Hangover actually won. If it doesn’t get nominated for the Oscars at this point I’ll actually be surprised. And I loved the dig at Harvey Weinstein. (500) Days of Summer comes in second.

Verdict: Satisfied

Best Motion Picture – Drama

Now, the moment everyone’s been waiting for. Unless of course you’re Quentin Tarantino and Eli Roth who began the night all happy and smiley and are now scowling at everyone. Well, keep it up because Avatar won. What the hell. Just because a movie makes a lot of money and has good special effects does not make it Best. The plot was okay at best and the acting mediocre. WTF Hollywood Foreign Press. I would have rathered The Hurt Locker win then Avatard. Or, as Arnold likes to call it, Avidah.

Verdict: Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! I have lost all faith. I may have to boyc