You Might be a fundamnetalist Christian if...
Submitted by Saintly on Thu, 07/19/2007 - 06:33
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- You don't want people sharing non-Christian ideas with you or your children, but you want to share Christian ideas with non-Christians and their children.
- You deny stories of ancient literature about Zeus and Thor because there's no evidence for them and they disagree with science, but you defend stories of ancient literature about virgin birth and talking snakes even though there's no evidence for them and they are contradicted by science.
- You claim that a few answered prayers are evidence of God, but far more unanswered prayers are not evidence against God.
- You vigorously defend your own supernatural experiences, but deny billions of contradictory experiences by others. If someone experiences your God but then does something bad, you deny their experience as false, too.
- You say that Christianity is not a religion and atheism IS a religion.
- You blame Charles Darwin for the holocaust, yet you say the crusades, the inquisition, witch burnings, and killings of homosexuals and doctors are merely a result of misinterpreting the Bible.
- You think ethnic cleansing is based on Darwin's theory, even though God ethnically cleansed whole populations of non-Hebrews according to Joshua.
- You are apalled by ritual human sacrifice and religious terrorism in the modern world, but not when these things happen in the Bible.
- You firmly deny the existence of all other gods but are threatened when someone doubts the existence of Yahweh.
- You interpret Bible verses that support your theology as literal and timelessly relevant, and you ignore verses that contradict your theology, or claim they must be interpreted metaphorically or are no longer relevant.
- You celebrate scientific facts that agree with your theology, and ignore or deny scientific facts that contradict it.
- You claim that what we don't understand is due to supernatural activity. When we come to understand a phenomena, you nevertheless insist that everything we still don't understand is due to supernatural activity.
- You believe it is better to firmly trust ideas for which there is no solid evidence than to tentatively trust ideas for which there is strong, observed, repeatable evidence.
- You believe that since we cannot know everything, we should believe in Yahweh but not other gods who are equally impossible to disprove.
- You defend fetuses on the grounds that life is sacred, but don't even wince at the thought that according to Genesis, God drowned the entire earth, including innocent children and fetuses.
- You believe that God and Christianity are loving and tolerant, even though God supposedly sends millions of people to hell forever because nobody mentioned Jesus to them.
- You quote the Old Testament when arguing against homosexuality, but ignore hundreds of its other prohibitions.
- You believe Christianity is morally superior, even though Christians have higher crime and divorce rates than non-theists, your scriptures depict God killing innocents and commanding murder and rape.
- You think atheists are immoral, but when Christians commit immoral acts you change your tune to "Everybody sins."
- You consider Jesus the absolute moral teacher, and then ignore most of his teachings.
- You believe Jews are God's chosen people, yet they are going to hell.
- You are less familiar with your scriptures than many non-Christians, which is why you were surprised to hear that according to your scriptures God commited ehtnic cleansing and commanded lying, murder, and rape.
- You believe morality is crumbling because tits and Tourette's on TV are more repulsive than witch burning, slavery, and keeping women subservient.
- You claim that atheists presume to know everything and you are comfortable with mystery, but you also claim to understand human origins, what God is thinking, how the world will end, and who is in hell, while atheists simply say "I don't know" when they don't have evidence for how something works.
- You do not realize how much these beliefs and habits inhibit living in truth because you've been repeatedly told they are actually VIRTUES!
Author Comments:
Many taken from other lists. I've tried only to use the ones that seem a fair critique of the majority of Christians. Please criticize my list.
I wish somebody would've shown me a list like this when I was 15.
Cloned From:
Interesting list. I am a member of a fundamentalist group, but I'm and odd one. I agree with most of the things on your list. HOWEVER, I have made friends with many different people, and kinds of different people with different beliefs. I am honest with them about my faith, i.e. the church to which I belong. We build a good relationship and then they realize that I really AM a member of that church. Suddenly they cannot be my friend any longer because no one with any sense can't believe that "junk". Who is the most intolerant? Some have eventually gotten over their discrimination against me because of the label. Others do not. Some can only remain friends with me because they have to decide I'm not really a member of my faith.
The point of this? To show it cuts both ways.
Hahahahahaha!!!! This is one of the most beautiful lists I have ever come across. I am totally sending this out to all my friends, and enemies! Thanks for the great laugh! Take care.