Top Ten Worst Contemporary Songs
Submitted by luappp on Wed, 11/30/2005 - 07:41
Tags:
- Sheryl Crow - All I Want To Do Is Have Some Fun (reason: really annoying slide guitar. Generally a lame song.)
- Partridge Family - I Think I Love You (Really cringe inducing. Sounds like they took the phrase "I think I love you", which sounds okay musically and then built the rest of the song to support it but the chorus after that phrase is awkward. Plus I don't like the meaning of the lyric. To me it's sleazy, it's like I think I love bonking you but I don't really care for you at all because I'm so shallow."
- Toni Basil - Oh Mickey (Cheesy.)
- John Mayer - Your Body Is A Wonderland (I hate the meaning of the lyrics. This is super cringe-inducing. I like women's bodies too but could never utter the putrid lyric that it's a wonderland. Wonderland? Like a Walt Disney ride? It's not a roller coaster!)
- Marvin Gaye - Sexual Healing (Music's okay but I don't like to think of sex as being healing like it's a band aid or a solution to your problems. I think that's lame.)
- Neil Diamond - Girl You’ll be a Woman Soon (I hate the meaning of the lyrics. It sounds super sleazy. And I object to the theory that females "need" a man. People are whole individuals to me whom choose relationships.)
- Hootie and the Blowfish - Let Her Cry (I don't like the delivery. It's got a depressing vibe. I could have populated the whole list with Hootie songs.)
- Bryan Adams - Everything I do I do it For You (So sappy.)
- John Mellencamp - Jack & Diane (Hate it musically. You could use this song to torture Iraqi prisoners.)
- B52s - Love Shack (Overrated. No good.)
If Mayer's hopelessly dorky ode to the feminine form bothers you (as it does me), there's always "Dr. Hellno and the Praying Mantus" by El-P, which takes Mayer's reigning metaphor and literalizes it in a thousand perverted directions. Bonus: I played the song at a Mexican tiki bar once and afterward a girl walked up and told me it was the worst song she'd ever heard and do I believe in Jesus Christ?
I'm grateful that you took down "Born in the U.S.A." before I could ask you what makes it "like drinking warm coke." But what do you like about its message?
...that's a clarinet on "I Got You Babe"?
Hmm. You're right, I took down Born In The USA. It's okay musically, just overrated. To me (an Aussie) it's a protest song about all the injustice that the US government perpetrates because of the "fight a yellow man" lyric. It's an anti-war song.
As for "I got You Babe" I figure it's a clarinet!?
I like Tom Petty, don't get me wrong, but if I hear "Free Falling" just one more time, someone will get hurt.
I think the Mayer song about fathers being good to their daughters (I don't even care to know the name) is pure torture and worse than one about the body of the woman being a wonderland. Didja ever hear his truly ominous cover of Radiohead's "Kid A," though? The guy's got some talent.
The song is called "Daughters" and I thoroughly agree with you!!
I agree with a majority of your list, excluding All I Wanna Do Is Have Some Fun. Purely senitmental reasons- it was the very first song I ever learnt the words to! I guess that shows you how old I am!