Top most satisfying dead animals
Submitted by Inimical on Tue, 11/12/2002 - 03:19
Tags:
- -Duck: there is nothing more tender than dead duck. The younger the better.
- -Goose: Like duck only bigger.
- -Pig: If you've never had luao-style roast pig I reccomend it. There are places where for 200 dollars you can get a whole hog roasted over a spit. That's like a dollar per pound of meat! You can even eat the skin-totally awesome.
- -Beef: Tried an true, beef is what made this country great. Unfortunately, most meat today is not free-range. That means that cows are fed on the corpses of other cows and most of their meat has a high fecal content. But eating meat is for the mighty-not the squeemish. If you are going to eat an animals flesh you can't really have a big qualm over eating its feces too. In the end, it all makes you stronger.
- -Veal: Like beef only more pleasurable
- -Deer: It really is ridiculous that we don't eat more deer. All we do in this country is run them over and leave them to rot in the sun. They're obscenely overpopulated. Hippies ship them to Mexico where they're almost extinct. But guess what the Mexicans do with them? That's right, venison taquitos.
- -Elk: I have only eaten Elk once but it was really good. It's like Venison only much sweeter. Also, Elk are huge and have much more meat. Have you ever seen those nature documentary where a whole pack wolves will bring down an elk? It makes me wish I was a pack of wolves.
- -Turkey: A pretty good animal but I can't take much pleasure in killing and eating something so stupid. A turkey is essentially a tasty vegetable that can walk.
- -Lamb: An excellent meat. Many Indian and Greek places have delicious lamb recipes. Also, you never know an angel of death might attack your family.
- -Emu: Emu is truly the sport of kings. I doubt I could take an emu unless I had some sort of weapon that gave me reach-either a firearm or a spear. There is a great joy in eating something that might have killed you. Also, they are delicious.
- -Alligator: Alligators are a very old species. If you've never tried it, you are missing a dietary pleasure that predates mamillian life. Alligator today probably tastes the same as it did when dinosaurs at them.
- -Children: No, this isn't a joke. Although I have never eaten a child I believe that everyone has a profound subconscious desire to do so. This is manifested in the mythology of every culture on the planet. We do you think people are always putting their babies hands and feet into their mouthes?
Author Comments:
Meat is like a religion to me. I am trying to get tax-free status.
Man, if this isn't a hot potato list, I don't know what one is! I think the vegans will most certainly have something to say. Oh, and if you're running for higher office on the "meat is tax-free" status, you've got my vote!
Dude, yeah I'm a vegetarian. And I'm not going to get mad at you, because I was a meat-eater most of my life and used to make fun of vegetarians.
But I just have to say, if this isn't a very extreme satire of meat-eating, your ignorance or lack of any compassion is showing.
I'm not going to belabor you with why eating meat is ethically wrong and bad for the environment here.
But if you really want to make an informed decision about this issue, I suggest reading Animal Liberation by Peter Singer, which is really well-thought out with definitive reasons why eating animals is wrong. Yes, wrong. I would've scoffed too, but there's a lot of programming from the time we're born to eat meat. Reading that book was like casting off the shackles of that programming.
Oh yeah, I came upon this list in the first place because I read your comment on my Leage of Women Voter's thing. I have some stuff about Bush that would knock your socks off. I'll post/e-mail it to you when I get off my lazy ass and write the sites down again.
Sincerely,
Jennifer Howell
As to my conspiracy web-sites, see my web-sites section where I have them listed. Pretty scary stuff!