Stook's 2005 Movie Suppository, Part 2
Submitted by stooky on Sat, 07/09/2005 - 12:24
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Ashes And Diamonds (1956)***
- Hokey, political Wannabe Rebel Without A Cause that put me to sleep, boring.
Bad Education (2004)****
- Almodovar with less heart and more intrigue, interesting but distant.
The Battle Of Algiers (1966)*****
- Realistic reenactment of the fight for Algerian liberation that was really quite violent and tawdry for a psuedo biodrama. Mostly a bashing of French political motives and the way a dominating force attempts to dominate the subserviant country. Choices to cut retaliatory actions together create much suspense and the masterful camerawork (a wildly rotating shoulder camera creates a sense of visual drama, swirling into stairwells or quickly panning upwards giving locations a spacial concept and distinct geography in a short time) gives these scenes of violence a riveting dominance, creating focus upon the characters and their motivations. Brilliant.
Buffet Froid (1979)**
- Avoid this crap.
Chushinguru (1968)***1/2
- Makes you wonder if someone could tell this story in less than 4 hours, excellent ending though.
Cursed (2005)*
- Ricci is very sexy in this film, and that will be the only pleasure you will get while watching Cursed. Williamson seems too self conscious at this point, riddling the script with inane attempts at scatalogical humour that comes off sounding like an excerpt from the Ricki Lake Show, bandying put downs and reordering 40's Werewolf expositions for (would be) funny effect. Creating one of those unwatcheable in-jokes that horror directors revel in, unfortunately the jokes are obvious and lack the creative humour that made Scream a crap masterpiece. THe whole film is stale, hindered with the lethargy that comes from people making crap, knowing they're making crap and hoping by not telling each other noone will figure it out.
Distant (2004)***
- Very.
Evil Dead Trap (1988)***1/2
- Average Japanese horror flick until the last 20 minutes which create a lasting unease, if only the entire film could have been that good.
Fiend Without A Face (1958)****
- Attack of the invisible vampire brains, hilarious.
Head (1968)****
- Funny, sly, tempestuous, speckled with bad music.
Hitch (2005)**1/2
- It takes panache, interesting dialogue and sterling chemistry to make a good romantic comedy, this is not a good romantic comedy. I got this film for free from Rogers Video and told the woman at the counter “it’s nice Hitch is free, because I wouldn’t pay any money to watch it anyway.” She gave me a bemused look and then said “I’m not sure whether the free rentals apply to people who don’t want to see the film.” However true that may be I still paid no money for which I am happy and then discussed with her my dislike of Will Smith and I Robot which she told me she fell asleep on, and I had to tell her the ending. She smiled and said “that’s what happened? Okay”. (Yes W. Smith has officially caused another person disappointment, you’re not alone.) Hitch was about as average as I suspected it would be, 3 good scenes, a lot of inadequately scripted filler meant to stretch the film to the 90 minute mark. Remember the scene where the girlfriends discuss relationships? Don’t worry, neither can I or anyone else who saw the film. What I can remember is Kevin James marvellous reaction to Allegra at his office door, which will later be known as “The Pen Scene”, Kevin James kissing Allegra then dancing outside her door, Kevin James doing the bump and grind. Basically Kevin James, along with Amber Valletta as Allegra, account for most of the good stuff which means you unfortunately have to sit through the Will Smith mugging opera where you can witness a man who has crawled so far up his own bum his acting has taken on a distasteful, flatulent odour.
Hotel Rwanda (2004)****1/2
- Fine, almost exceptional docudrama because of Cheadles performance alone, he imposes his will upon every scene making for a blistering, emotionally devistating one man drama. Backed by a marvellous supporting cast and intense, if standard, filmmaking, the only thing that limits Hotel Rwanda is the need for hokey scenes thrown in to lighten the whole affair. They seem out of place given the subject matter and break forward momentum whenever they are interjected.
Kanal (1961)*1/2
- F***ing hell can Andrezj Wadja Make boring, pretentious films, they bore me silly, make me fall asleep and finally cause me to wonder about the collective turds (critics) who recommend this drivel. The fact that 45 minutes of the film is filmed almost completely in the dark while people moan, stagger and complain about the death of Poland and themselves is just annoying, but the hapless, bummer ending makes me wanna regurgitate on the DVD.
Kinsey (2004)***
- This film is creepy and dirty, it made want to shower after watching it and later when I thought about the scenes I couldn’t help feeling disgusted certain scenes and Liam Neeson is just plain disturbing in this film, exuding a distinct perverse quality that just made me slightly embarrassed watching him. The problem, for me anyways, can be stated like this: Half the movie was Mr. Holland’s Opus, all gooey and filled with birds tweeting and an air of peppiness that makes my skin crawl, mixed with the Ken Russell movie of your choice. The amalgum is so disconcerting as to make the film very disturbing and as I said before, very creepy.
Lamerica (1994)****
Land Of The Dead (2005)*****
Lemony Snicket’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2004)*****
- Incredibly fun family film perfection.
The Lower Depths (1953)****
- Groovy man.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)***1/2
- Good looking, entertaining rose scented crap that glorifies violence and death whilst force feeding you brand names and misogony. I enjoyed it quite a bit.
My Night At Maud's (1968)*****
- Rhomer's best film is packed with fascinating dialogue being spouted by 3 dimensional characters of much interest (the atributes most often missing from his films). Maud's is a brain teaser, finding the balance that is entertainment in conversation, the captures the emotions as well. I found myself wishing I was part of the conversations, a rare feat indeed.
The Old Dark House (1932)****1/2
Patlabor 2 (1989) ***
- Nowhere as interesting as the original the makers seemed more content making a stylized gab-fest instead of an intelligent adventure film. The animation is still incredible but there are far too many scenes that stretch beyond the average watchers’ mental endurance.
The Spiral Staircase (1953)*****
Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge Of The Sith (2005) ****1/2
A Summer's Tale (1989)**
The Tree Of Wooden Clogs (1978)****1/2
- Brilliant slice of life.
War Of The Worlds (2005)****1/2
A Woman Is A Woman (1962)*****
- Fabulous Godard entertainment that makes up for his long winded earlier expositions.
July 17 & 18 2005
Meet The Parents (2003)****, Joe Dirt (2003)****, Happy Gilmore (1996)-*, Tears Of The Sun (2003)**, The Time Machine (2003)**
- When choosing films for a marathon I would suggest to anyone else to choose a better assortment that what I endeavoured to enjoy. However, Meet The Parents was a hilarious comedy that seemed to resurrect the disaster-laden trip home story line with some fascinating, and slightly perplexing, insights into relations between families and the groom-to-be/intruder. My favourite scene has to be the vehicle rally that prefaces the theory of the false Jinx cat. Brilliant. Joe Dirt on the other hand was more modest and inane in its sense of humour, yet surprising (almost to a shocking extent) quite good. I laughed out loud at least 15 times while watching this outlandish hootenanny. All logic is jettisoned within the first 10 minutes, which makes the weirdly outlandish romp easier to enjoy, a fascinating conundrum and a true crap classic. Using the words "filmmaking" or "movie" to identify Happy Gilmore (a stupendous hunk of craptacular, mean spirited, idiot festivity) would be a travesty against all that is right in the world. At a punishing 90 minutes this could possibly be the worst comedic filmed exercise ever shat by light on celluloid. Tears Of The Sun could possibly be the only film where killing a large group of people who are killing a large group of people is seen to be justifiable in the eyes of the lord. Bruce Willis delivers hammy lines aplenty while a sordid soap opera seems to be playing out around him, and I should point out, he needs to start shaving in his films. The action scenes are awful, which leaves you with the dreaded hour and a half of 2 dimensional character developments as the "meat" of this turkey. It's pretty darn bad. Last but not least The Time Machine is an overlong special effects laden dud that focuses on the least interesting, most action oriented-love affair driven (cue happy movie exec) part of the Wells story. Managing to tear asunder any solid storytelling with idiotic rubber suited Morlocks who leap about like dogs and grunt a lot, they also reminded me of Geddy Lee but that's another story. The 1960 film is so superior it would be pointless for anyone to watch the remake/dud, which is sort of sad considering the budget.
The Wedding Crashers (2005) ****1/2
- Hilarious, gut-busting mixture of the unsavory and the savory that nails the romantic comedy while being stuffed with comedy perfection. There are too many great scenes to mention, rare in a hollywood film making this the best comedy you're likely to see this year.
Look Back In Anger (1958)**1/2
- I had wanted to watch Look Back In Anger for about 10 years before I viewed it last night and what a disappointment it was. Granted Richard Burton was excellent as the ponderous, grumpy Jimmy, but the film itself was taudry, long, irritating and by the end, incredibly silly. An overcooked potato my fellow listologists, and no amount of sour cream could save this puppy.
Au Hasard Balthazar (1966)*****
- Bresson's incredible film about a donkey and the parade of human idiots around him. Dude.
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory (2005)***1/2
- The major scenes don't work as well as the interem character building, weird, and the oompaloompas stink with their crap musical numbers. Johnny Depp is fabulous as Willie Wonka, but other than Charlie's woefully underused family he's all alone. A film that could have been a lot better.
Shadows (1959)****1/2
- Frenetic Cassavetes which brought about an understanding of why he was a revered director.
Random Harvest (1942)*****
- Magnificent cheese that makes you believe in true love and the preeminance of Ronald Coleman as a leading actor, I got all teary eyed at the end.
Open City (1942)****1/2
- Exciting neo-realism is a lot easier to take than those dreaded morbid neo-realist wank-fests, thank goodness for pacey direction.
Zoolander (2002)****
- Probably the most quotable film ever made.
The Filth And The Fury (2003)***1/2
- Well made but intrinsiquely boring doc with exceptional music spattered throughout the usual stories of Pistol infighting.
Slaughterhouse-Five (1979)***
- People should give up trying to translate Vonnegut to the big screen, it's tedious and embarrasing.
Last Life In The Universe (2004)****
- Seriously flawed but transfixing whimsical-satirical-metaphysical drama whose pace and exceptional characterizations make for a pleasant night in front of the TV.
The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)****1/2
- What seperates this from the juvenile comedies of the 80's (Risky Business, etc.), other than obvious difference in the 40 year old title character, happens to be an insightful sense of humor. There is a certain understanding of human behaviour at work reminiscent of early Altman, then syphoned through There's Something About Mary, which makes for an exciting concoction. The point being that 40 Year Old Virgin is a finely crafted, hilarious, gloriously rude/sweetly touching summer comedy.
Red Eye (2005)****
- Tightly wound thriller blarney that has many plot holes but generally holds together well by shoving everything down our throats at a quick pace delivered by actors with a lot of panache.
The Constant Gardener (2005)*****
- Cynical and heartrending, The Constant Gardener erupts onscreen as a torrent of emotions, both personal and political, pushing the political intrigue plotting of John Le Carre’s novel far to the background, leaving Justin Quayle’s (Fiennes) quest to understand his surrounding turmoil as the lynch pin. Justin loses his beloved wife in a seemingly random crime, leaving questions of fidelity lingering in his mind, yet when he seeks a definitive answer these questions he finds only clues concerning the tyranny of major superpowers on third-world countries. The political intrigue is a starting point that trades political opinions for detail, using Le Carre’s political fixations as a fixed point from which to weave the consuming tragedy which enraptures the viewer as well as Justin as he becomes a voyeur in his wife’s reality, tracing her path through Africa in search of a reason, a justification for what he discovers. In the haunting final minutes, Meirelles creates an epiphany concerning human interaction, what is missing and what is corporeal in the cynical modern world, summing up every plot thread without tackling any one of them.
The Spiral Staircase gets 5 stars and you don't even write it up? I won't allow it! Then again, maybe I'm not so interested since you gave Revenge of the Sith and War of the Worlds 4.5 stars.
Sith is great, what's the prob?
Spiral Staircase is probably the original modern horror film in the sense that Halloween, Friday The 13th and others all find their genus in this film. All the cliches are here, which fascinates me.
:?)
Glad to hear you enjoyed Joe Dirt, one of my all time favourites and a very underrated comedy film.
those aren't plot holes in red eye... it's an anti-plot. it's the black hole of reasonable ideas... then again i haven't seen it, just read up on it(i'm a big spoiler junkie).