Semi-Strange Facts About Me
Submitted by AJDaGreat on Sun, 12/19/2004 - 03:32
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- I have never been stung by a bee.
- I have never broken a bone.
- I have, however, had my thumbnail ripped completely off by a luggage conveyor belt at the airport. I was too young to remember it now, but I bet it hurt like hell.
- I have swum with dolphins in Mexico.
- I have ridden on a dogsled atop an Alaskan glacier.
- Not one, but TWO deans were fired from my high school due to pedophilia while I was going there.
- I have always been one of the youngest people in my grade. When I was taking a test to get into my school, I impressed one woman by reading her papers upside-down. They decided to let me into 1st grade at the age of 5.
- On a related note, the head of my elementary school was Jewish. When I was entering 1st grade, my mom commented that she planned to take me out of school for every major Jewish holiday so that I could go to synagogue and spend time with my family. The headmistress said I could never manage that and still keep up on my work. But I did, for all twelve years. Secretly, I think my mom was determined to have me miss school each time more for her pride than for any religious reasons.
- I was born without the ability to grow two of my adult teeth – the two on either side of my two top front teeth. I used to have a retainer that made it look like I have teeth there, and which I could startle people by taking it out, revealing two huge gaps in my mouth. In January 2005, I had two false teeth implanted, so now I finally look like I have a normal mouth.
- My teeth are really messed up. I also have a molar which is afflicted with ankylosis. That means the roots of the tooth are infused into my jawbone. My orthodontist told me that in a lifetime of practice, he would expect to see that once or twice.
- Speaking of teeth… when I was younger, my mom used to give me one fluoride pill a night to chew on. But they tasted good, so one day I ate all of them. It was enough fluoride to kill me, but luckily, I casually commented to my parents that I had eaten all the fluoride, and they were able to induce vomiting in time.
- Throughout eighth grade and high school, I sporadically wrote a humor column and e-mailed it to my friends that was entirely made up of inside jokes. I started off with five subscribers and ended up with twenty. 94 issues were published.
- Although I live in Baltimore, I have never seen Cal Ripken Jr. up close there, despite the fact that his son goes to my school. However, one time when I was vacationing in Florida, my dad noticed that Cal was eating at the restaurant we were in.
- Another former Baltimore Oriole one: I currently live next door to Brooks Robinson.
- The last time I parallel parked a car was when I took my driver’s test, well over a year ago. I hate parallel parking.
- For a talent show in 4th grade, I sang a song from the TV show Animaniacs that talked about all the presidents up through Clinton. It was set to the tune of the William Tell Overture. I still have this song memorized nine years later, so I can tell you all the presidents in order – it just takes me a little while because I have to go through the song.
- Whenever I buy a gift certificate for someone, I buy really random numbers. For example, one time I got my friend a gift certificate to Nordstrom for $27.37.
- The Oracle once told me that I was the One. Then she admitted she was just pulling my leg.
Author Comments:
If I think of more, I'll add them. Any questions or comments are welcome.
Cloned From:
Ha! I have a friend who can still spit out that President song...
Me, I can't even get the one about the states down.
I visited the Oracle once. She just slapped me silly.
Great list, although I am sorry about the choppers!
Shalom, y'all!
L. Bangs
I had the states one memorized at some point. Let's see... Baton Rouge, Louisiana; Indianapolis, Indiana; and Columbus is the capital of Ohio... uh... well, I'm done.
Damn, I used to LOVE that show. I watched it religiously for a long, long time. I need it to come out on DVD so I can recapture my youth.
Eh, the teeth aren't all bad. The retainer thing is a nice party trick, at least.
That was a great show. I am a bit shocked it is not on DVD yet. I suspect there is quite a market for it.
One alway could use another party trick!
Shalom, y'all!
L. Bangs
What a strange way to be let into the 1st grade at 5!
'Inside jokes' between who? Could any of your subscribers 'get' the jokes?
I've always wondered if those more educational Animaniacs episodes actually taught anyone and hey! You're living proof. Way to go, Animaniacs!
Sweet, I'm gonna start putting really random amounts on gift cards!
Well, it wasn't just that - I mean, I applied to the first grade at the age of 5, my mother insisting that I'd be bored in pre-first. The administration didn't believe me at first, but after I took the tests, they let me in.
Yes, all of my initial subscribers could get the jokes - they'd be pretty bored if they couldn't. As more and more people started subscribing, some of the jokes must have been too abstruse for some, but I think most could understand the point of the satire. Anyone who doesn't know my friends would be completely lost, of course.
Random amounts on gift cards certainly spice up what is otherwise a useful but uninteresting gift. It's pretty fun too.
[To the tune of the Mexican Hat Dance]
United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama, Haiti, Jamaica, Peru.
Republic Dominican, Cuba, Carribbean, Greenland, El Salvadore, too.
Puerto Rico, Columbia, Venezuela, Honduras, Guyana and still,
Guatemala, Bolivia, then Argentina, Ecuador, Chile, Brazil!
I'd forgotten about those songs - they were educational! A tad Amero-centric for a Canadian such as myself, but I loved Animaniacs.
Oh, and it's a good thing you don't remember your thumbnail being ripped off. That must have hurt like a bitch.
...Costa Rica, Belize, Nicaragua, Bermuda, Bahamas, (something), San Juan
Paraguay, Uruguay, Surinam, and French Guiana, Barbados, and Guam
Great show.
Ditto here for parallel parking. If I try, it's always bad for the cars around. But somehow I have always managed to touch only the sidewalk, and none of the other cars.
But I've done worse things. For instance: I once oversaw that I was still in the reverse gear (when I started the car), and so I drove with full speed backwards. :-)
About the teeth: I suffer from the same, actually. I too miss the two adult teeth next to my front teeth in my upper jaw...