Rules of Surviving a Zombie Epedemic
Submitted by allegheny on Tue, 03/08/2005 - 11:59
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- DOn't panic, remain calm, cool and ollective.
- Find a heavy club, an ax, a sword, or a gun and damage the brain.
- Trying setting them on fire, but contain fire so it won't backlash onto you.
- Be aware that when even a loved one or friend has been bitten by a zombie, they will die, will turn into zombies, will cease being your loved one, and will attack you.
- Also, if someone dies from natural causes or non-zombie related wounds, they will still turn into zombies because of the bad bacteria in the air.
- Don't do stupid things like running after pets who might get away. Zombies eat people, probably won't care anything about an animal.
- Don't fight over leadership. When you cooperate, you have a better chance of surviving.
- When you see a bunch of zombies standing in front of you while you are in a car, don't get caught watching the paint dry. Hit the gas petal. But don't drive recklessly. No hot-dogging in a car when zombies are about. Nascar is not that interested.
- Kill as many zombies as you can when they are alone. It lessens the amount of zombies when they group later.
- Try to find a strong, fortified, and if possible, elivated place where food and water are accessible, like a mall or grocery store.
- Search inside said place for any infestation within after barricade or fortification is complete.
- Don't waste time listening to crazed preachers and clergypeople telling you that this is armageddon.
- Clergypeople: DOn't waste time preaching about the end of the world, get your ass moving, get a large bludgeoning tool, and the hell out or the boat will leave your far behind.
- Don't attract attention or make noise, play jukeboxes, turn on lights, or play arcade games.
- Don't stand by any windows or weak doors.
- If you are cornered by a group of zombies, are downed, and are almost out of ammunition, save one bullet for yourself and whoever's with you. Also, if someone is being attacked by zombies and has no chance of survival, give them mercy and shoot them in the head.
- Don't be a dick or get cocky. Toying around with a zombie will not increase the size of your manhood or confidence. There is such a thing as poetic justice. This is not the time to be showboating for the cover of Guns-N-Ammo or Sportsmen Magazines.
- Have Some Respect for the Dead
Lol.
My favorite has to be number 18.
Good job :)
Same vein as my recent list:
http://www.listology.com/content_show.cfm/content_id.16764
(as in stupid but lovable, and irrelevant to movies, music, TV, Netflix, books, or other popular culture - which is rare at listology.)
BTW have you read "The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook?" There's an article in there very similar to this (although not quite as detailed or complete).
Excellent work! +favorite
One to add (if you want)
When someone in your party tells you: "Don't worry...it's just a scratch," that's usually sign that you need to perform a bit of "population control."
Right. I'm watching Shaun of the Dead, funny, but by the end, everyone starts doing the wrong things. It's like, I know an actual zombie epidemic would be a new thing in any world, but in the movie's world, some had to have watched a few Romero Zombie movies, and gotten the rules down.
That's something I've thought about. Might modern film characters be so well-versed in Hollywood films that they mimic their corny/witty dialogue or made laconic remarks or even act like movie characters often do. So, maybe the corny dialogue in modern Hollywood films is more believable than before because of the influence Hollywood films of the past might have had on today's film characters.
Well, I always feel mad and sad when I see a dumb, cocky, or bullying guy get ripped up or bitten by a zombie. It's like......YOU IDIOT!! YOU DESERVE IT!!
bout time i found this list. a least someone besides me knows the basics.