Submitted by directorspen on Sat, 11/29/2003 - 02:44
- Me - "We need to stop riding on the backs of our ancestors and actually live up to the fact that we as human beings are intelligent. All the time we say our intelligence is more advanced than any other creature - show me what you can do, don't tell me what others have done."
- Character (not known by me which) - "He's got a real sword!" (said by a character about Henry the 4th played by Marcello Mastroianni in Enrico IV, trying to make him believe that he is really Henry the IV)
- Zapp Brannigan - "That's whatever you were talking about for ya." (from Futurama)
- TV commercial - "They've cancelled their membership from the unhappiest club on earth." (referring to overweight people taking action with their product)
- Me - "I hate seeing a fleet of service trucks pass me on the highway because that's a lot of times I can't pronounce the name of the company they work for - ASPLUNDH."
- Me - "You need to go see the dean tomorrow...James Dean."
- Me - "If you wanted me to go up in a room and gave me the choice between a rope and a step stool, I'd choose the ladder."
- Ashley - "I can't think straight, I had too much coke. I mean, Coca-Cola." (there was a guy in the elevator we were riding in who glanced over after the first sentence, Ashley had to clear it up for him)
- Demetri Martin -
"Birthday clown, I think
that you are not that happy.
One balloon dog, please."
(a Haiku by a great, new comedian)
- A sign that an on-campus Christianity promoter was holding - 'Adam and Eve...not Adam and Steve.' (always an amusing way to start the day)
- Mitch Hedberg - "I like to wave to strangers, but it's a dangerous thing. What if the person you're waving to doesn't have a hand? He'll think you're cocky. "Hey, look what I got motherf****r. This thing's useful, I'm gonna go pick something up." (brilliant comedian)
- Peter Griffin - "Women aren't people. They are devices built by the lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment." (quote from Peter on Family Guy)