My Favorite Movie Quotes From 11 Films Chock Full Of 'Em
Submitted by grandpa_chum on Fri, 10/29/2004 - 05:56
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Once Upon A Time In The West(1968)
- Morton: Tell me, was it necessary that you kill all of them? I only told you to scare them.
- Frank: People scare better when they're dying.
- Frank: How can you trust a man who wears both a belt and suspenders? The man can't even trust his own pants
- Harmonica: Your friends have a high mortality rate Frank.
- Cheyenne: Harmonica. A town... built around a railroad. You could make a fortune. Hundreds of thousands of dollars. Hey, more than that. Thousands of thousands.
- Harmonica: The call them millions.
- Cheyenne: Millions. Hmmm.
- Cheyenne: You know, Jill, you remind me of my mother. She was the biggest whore in Alameda and the finest woman that ever lived. Whoever my father was, for an hour or for a month - he must have been a happy man.
- Frank: Morton once told me I could never be like him. Now I understand why. Wouldn't have bothered him, knowing you were around somewhere alive.
- Harmonica: So you found out you're not a business man after all.
- Frank: Just a man.
- Harmonica: An ancient race.
- Frank: Nothing matters now - not the land, not the money, not the woman. I came here to see you. 'Cause I know that now, you'll tell me what you're after.
- Harmonica: Only at the point of dyin'.
- Frank: I know.
- Harmonica:Frank?
- Killer 1:Frank sent us.
- Harmonica:Did you bring a horse for me?
- Killer 1:Well... looks like we're... looks like we're shy one horse.
- Harmonica: No... You brought two too many.
Dr. Strangelove(1964)
- Pilot Kong: Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones. You sure you got today's codes?
- General Ripper: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
- Mr. President: Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- General Turgidson: Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.
- Pilot Kong: Well boys, we got three engines out, we got more holes in us than a horse trader's mule, the radio is gone and we're leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower why we'd need sleigh bells on this thing... but we got one little budge on those Roosskies. At this height why they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen!
- General Turgidson: Mr. President, we cannot allow a mineshaft gap!
- General Turgidson: I... I don't know exactly how to put this, sir, but are you aware of what a serious breach of security that would be? I mean, he'll see everything, he'll... he'll see the Big Board!
- Mr. President(on phone with Kissoff): Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say hello?... Of course I like to speak to you!... Of course I like to say hello!... Not now, but anytime, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened... It's a friendly call. Of course it's a friendly call... Listen, if it wasn't friendly... you probably wouldn't have even got it.
- Mr. President(on phone with Kissoff): Well now, what happened is... ah... one of our base commanders, he had a sort of... well, he went a little funny in the head... you know... just a little... funny. And, ah... he went and did a silly thing...
- Mr. President(on phone with Kissoff): Clear and plain and coming through fine... I'm coming through fine, too, eh?... Good, then... well, then, as you say, we're both coming through fine... Good... Well, it's good that you're fine and... and I'm fine... I agree with you, it's great to be fine... a-ha-ha-ha-ha...
The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly(1966)
- Blondie: You may run the risks, my friend, but I do the cutting. We cut down my percentage - uh, cigar? - liable to interfere with my aim.
- Blondie(just prior to showdown): Two hundred thousand dollars is a lot of money. We're gonna have to earn it.
- Angel Eyes: When I'm paid, I always follow my job through.
- Tuco: I like big fat men like you. When they fall they make more noise.
- Tuco: If you save your breath I feel a man like you can manage it. And if you don't manage it, you'll die. Only slowly, very slowly old friend.
- Tuco: There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend: Those with a rope around the neck, and the people who have the job of doing the cutting.
- Blondie: You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.
- Tuco: When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk.
- Tuco: You know what you are? Huh? Huh? You don't, I do, everyone does... you're the son of a thousand fathers, all bastards like you.
- Blondie: Tut, tut. Such ingratitude after all the times I saved your life.
- Tuco: Who says so? You can't even read!(sheriff rolls up the poster) Go ahead, roll it up! I'll give a good idea where to put it!
- Blondie: Take off your gun and put on your pants.
Apocolypse Now(1979)
- Chef: Why do all you guys sit on your helmets?
- Soldier: So we don't get our balls blown off.
- Kurtz: I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight... razor... and surviving.
- Lance: Disneyland. Fuck, man, this is better than Disneyland.
- Willard: Oh man, the shit piled up so fast in Vietnam you needed wings to stay above it.
- Kurtz: What do you call assassins who accuse assassins?
- chef: I used to think if I died in an evil place then my soul wouldn't make it to heaven. Well, fuck. I don't care where it goes as long it ain't here.
- Kilgore: Charlie don't surf!
- Kilgore: You smell that? Do you smell that?... Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for twelve hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didn't find one of 'em, not one stinkin' dink body. The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like... victory. Someday this war's gonna end...
- Kurtz: You're an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill.
- Kilgore: I will not hurt or harm you. Just give me back the board, Lance. It was a good board - and I like it. You know how hard it is to find a board you like.
- Kurtz: We train young men to drop fire on people. But their commanders won't allow them to write "fuck" on their airplanes because it's obscene!
Once Upon A Time In America(1984)
- Fat Moe: What have you been doing all these years?
- Noodles: I've been going to bed early.
- Max: Some we give them the good life, others we give it right up the ass.
- Max: When you've been betrayed by a friend you hit back.
- On Side Of Hearse: Why go on living when we can bury you for $49.50?
- Max: You'll live with the stink of the streets all your life.
- Noodles: I like the stink of the streets. It cleans out my lungs. And it gives me a hard-on.
- Noodles: Today they ask us to get rid of Joe. Tomorrow they ask me to get rid of you. Is that okay with you? 'Cause it's not okay with me.
- Joe: Life is... funnier than shit.
- Noodles: Looks like we caught you with your stick up the toukus of a minor
They Live(1988)
- Frank: I've walked a white line my entire life, I'm not about to screw that up.
- Nada: White line's in the middle of the road, that's the worst place to drive.
- Nada: Hey, life's a bitch, and she's back in heat!
- Bearded TV Man: We could be pets, we could be food, but all we really are is livestock.
- Nada: You, you're ok. This one, real fuckin' ugly.
- Nada: You... you look like your face fell in the cheese dip back in 1956.
- Frank: The Golden Rule: He who has the gold, makes the rules.
- Nada: I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubblegum.
The Royal Tenenbaums(2001)
- Eli: I wish you'd've done this for me when I was a kid.
- Richie: But you didn't have a drug problem then.
- Eli: Yeah, but it still would've meant a lot to me.
- Royal: Lets shag ass.
- Royal: Anybody interested in grabbing a couple of burgers and hittin' the cemetery?
- Eli(being interviewed): Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't.
- Eli(reading from his novel: The crickets and the rust-beetles scuttled among the nettles of the sage thicket. "Vámonos, amigos," he whispered, and threw the busted leather flintcraw over the loose weave of the saddlecock. And they rode on in the friscalating dusklight.
- Rickie: Did you say you were on Mescaline?
- Eli: I did indeed. Very much so.
- Richie: Of course it's dark. It's a suicide note.
- Raleigh: You made a cuckold of me.
- Raleigh: Are there priests on call?
- Tennis Announcer: I don't know, Jim. There's obviously something wrong with him. He's taken off his shoes and one of his socks and... actually, I think he's crying.
- Royal: Richie, this illness, this closeness to death... it's had a profound affect on me. I feel like a different person, I really do.
- Richie: Dad, you where never dying.
- Royal: ...but I'm gonna live!
- Royal: Scrapping and yelling. Mixing it up. Loving every minute with this damn crew.
- Royal: Oh my... what is that?... no, no... that's just dog's blood.
Dumb And Dumber(1994)
- Lloyd: When I met Mary, I got that old fashioned romantic feeling, where I'd do anything to bone her.
- Harry: That's a special feeling.
- Lloyd: Yeah, they always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, ya' know.
- Harry: Check out the funbags on that hosehound.
- Lloyd: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
- Harry: I was thinking the same thing.
- Lloyd: That John Denver is full of shit, man.
- Lloyd: If I know Mary as well as I think I do, she'll invite us right in for tea and strumpets.
- Lloyd: Mary... I desperately wanna make love to a school boy.
- Lloyd: Well suck me sideways!
- Lloyd: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- Lloyd: It's ok, I'm a limo driver!
- Lloyd: I'll bet you twenty dollars I can get you gambling before the day is out!
- Lloyd: Why you going to the airport, flying somewhere?
- Harry: Anti-quitsies, you're it, quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies!
- Lloyd: You can't do that!
- Harry: Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life. Mary and I went skiing, we made a snowman, she touched my leg...
- Lloyd: I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming.
Bottle Rocket(1996)
- Dignan: What do you think I was doing the whole time you were out there man? I told you Dignan got fired, out on his ass. But you didn't think about that, did you. In the end it's easier to think about yourself than it is to think about Dignan.
- Anthony: Maybe we should've robbed your house. You ever think of that?
- Dignan: They'll never catch me... because I'm fucking innocent.
- Dignan: He's out. And you're out, too. And I dont think I'm in, either. No gang!
- Dignan: Pointless act! You don't give a 500 dollar tip to the housekeeper! That's inappropriate! That's inexcusable! That, I don't forgive! What were you thinking? What were you thinking?
- Dignan: On the run from Johnny Law... ain't no trip to Cleveland.
- Anthony: One morning, over at Elizabeth's beach house, she asked me if I'd rather go water-skiing or lay out. And I realized that not only did I not want to answer THAT question, but I never wanted to answer another water-sports question, or see any of these people again for the rest of my life.
- Dignan: Isn't it funny how you used to be in the nut house and now I'm in jail?
- Dignan: Son of a bitch! Anthony! Anthony! Bob's gone. He stole his car! He flew the coop while we were sleepin'!
- Dignan: Here are just a few of the key ingredients: dynamite, pole vaulting, laughing gas, choppers - can you see how incredible this is going to be? - hang gliding, come on!
- Dignan: How does an asshole like Bob get such a great kitchen?
- Futureman: Excuse me?
- Mr. Henry: Oh I don't think so.
Full Metal Jacket(1987)
- BEWARE OF PROFANITY
- Drill Sergeant: Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit. Get the fuck off of my obstacle. Get the fuck down off of my obstacle. Now. Move it. I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world. I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo.
- Joker: The dead know only one thing: it is better to be alive.
- Drill Sergeant: But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit.
- Drill Sergeant: How tall are you, private?
- Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
- Drill Sergeant: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high.
- Drill Sergeant: Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I will PT you all until you fucking die. I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk.
- Joker: You know there's not a single horse in the entire country of Vietnam? There's definitely something wrong with that.
- Animal Mother: If I'm gonna get my balls blown off for a word, my word is poontang.
- Animal Mother: Holy dog shit. Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?
Day Of The Dead(1985)
- Captain Rhodes: You want me to salute that pile of walking pus? Salute my ass!
- John: I'll set us down. But I won't leave my seat and I'll keep the engine running. Now the first sign of trouble, I'm going up. If you ain't on board when that happens, you're likely to have a lousy afternoon.
- McDermott: The power is off on the mainland now in case you haven't heard, and all the shopping malls are closed!
- Captain Rhodes: I'm running this monkey farm now Frankenstein and I wanna know... what the fuck your doing with my time?
- Fischer: What's he trying to prove? I once saw one of those things sitting behind the wheel of a car in D.C. trying to drive down Independence Avenue. It didn't make me want to be its friend.
- John(with his wonderful jamaican accent): You want to put some kind of explanation on all this? Here's one as good as any other. We're bein' punished by the Creator. He visited a curse on us. Maybe He didn't want to see us blow ourselves up, put a big hole in the sky. Maybe He just wanted to show us He's still the Boss Man. Maybe He figure, we gettin' too big for our britches, tryin' to figure His shit out.
- Captain Rhodes: I don't want them to do anything but drop over!
- Rickles: It means you're a caveman, asshole! You're a fuckin' throwback! You've been spendin' too much time underground! It's okay, Steel - throwbacks all got big dicks!
- Captain Rhodes:(as the zombies are disembowling him and eating his entrails) Choke on 'em! Choke on 'em!
- Captain Rhodes: You've given us a mouthfull of Greek salad. Formulas, equations, a lot of fancy terms that don't mean a thing.
- Steele: This is a fuckin' looney bin! I'm not gettin' paid enough to work in a fucking looney bin!
- Johnson(to miller): We're getting paid? Are you getting paid?
- Miller:I'm not getting paid.
- Captain Rhodes(to Steele): Shoot that woman.
- Steele:(pointing his fingers in the shape of a gun at sarah) Bang! You're dead.
- Dr. Logan:(to a shackled zombie who has just knocked over a table) That wasn't very nice! Now you can sit in the dark and think about what you've done... think about it.
- Captain Rhodes: *very-minor spoiler* [spoiler]I killed Frankenstein because he was butcher
- Captain Rhodes: and leave you and your highfalutin' ass hole friends to rot in this stinking sewer! Is that food enough for ya?!
- Captain Rhodes: What the fuck is wrong with you people! Their dead! Their fucking dead!
Author Comments:
Finally finished... these aren't just one liners so you may have to have seen the movie to appreciate some of them... but i love em all.
Great quotes, you choose some great ones for Bottle Rocket & Royal Tenenbaums, and all the others. what did you use to get the info? IMDB? or did you just watch the movies and pick'em out?
i went through imdb to get all the good ones they had and to spark my memory... but those were just guides as most quotes on imdb are misquoted... thats about 3/4 of them... the rest i just remembered or had saved somewhere else. Also keep in mind that at one point or another i knew each of these movies by heart.
I knew you'd be the first one to respond... more than a couple wes references and your right on it
One of favourite quotes is Kurtz in Apocalypse Now saying "We train young men to drop fire on people. But their commanders won't allow them to write "fuck" on their airplanes because it's obscene!"
I love that one
grandpa chum, that movie selection was amazing. Out of that list; Bottle Rocket, Royal Tenenbaums, They Live, Day of the Dead, The Good, The Bad, And the Ugly, and Dumb & Dumber are like my favorite movies. It's weird too because I didn't think anybody else would like those exact selection of movies that I like. Anyhow, gg on that selection. Great quotes too :p
yeah i agree it's an odd selection... if anyone had the exact taste in movies I had I'd probably tell them they have brain damage, even I don't believe the combination of odd genre films I love... good to hear I have another partner in crime.