A List of Some of the Worst Cliches in Rock Music
Submitted by BuckGS71 on Thu, 06/21/2001 - 04:45
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- Being in a band will get you laid, no matter how ugly you are, and therefore make you cool. Fred Durst of Limp Banana Bread Pudding Bizkit is a perfect example: the entire female population at the Playboy Mansion could bed him down and he would still be uncool.
- "Creative Differences": This is code for "I'm leaving the band/I was canned from the band because I can't stand those sons of bitches". I swear, if I hear another musician say that after they've bolted or been booted out of a band, I'm taking hostages.
- Despite those "creative differences", you will most certainly jump at the opportunity to get back together with the band at the sign of a huge cash payday. This means "sure, I still can't stand those sons of bitches, but I've got a ridiculously expensive lifestyle that just can't be maintained through royalties alone."
- Guitar solos are meant to be long and fast and full of notes: You know what the best solo ever was? "Cinnamon Girl", by Neil Young. Three seconds, one note, played super fast. Now that was a solo!
- "It's just a solo album. The band is still together, going strong." Examples of musicians who have said this, rather incorrectly, are Paul McCartney, Sting, David Lee Roth, and David Byrne, just to name a few.
- It doesn't matter how bad you play, as long as you look cool playing your guitar: Umm...no. Wrong. It helps if you can at least play a few chords. You'll look even cooler.
- Bic lighters flicked during a ballad: Someone needs to pass legislation banning this ridiculous act, don't you agree?
Author Comments:
That's what makes rock so awesome - it's full of cliches we can't avoid!
How about dating models? I think that's a requirement.
not anymore so that players in the NHL standing around at the all-star game talking about married life with a former stapled naked girl...centerfold in Playboy.