Including ORIGINAL HITS by the ORIGINAL ARTISTS!
- "The Sign" - Ace of Base (which I like, but you know it's inevitable)
- "Genie in a Bottle" - Christina Aguilera (the cute Disney refugee)
- "November Rain" - Guns'n'Roses (84 minutes of orchestral schmaltz, followed by a cat being strangled)
- "Informer" - Snow (why should the Beastie Boys have all the Wonderbread fun?)
- "Whoomp! (There It Is)" - The Guys Who Did "Whoomp! (There It Is)" (yeah, like anyone remembers their real name)
- "Macarena" - Los Del Rio (because calling them The Guys Who Did "Macarena" would be repetitive)
- "Tubthumping" - Chumbawamba (steal this song)
- "Possession" - Sarah McLachlan (the most fun stalkers have had since "Every Breath You Take")
- "Crash" - Dave Matthews Band (a great song the first four hundred eighty-two times I heard it on the radio)
- "One Week" - Barenaked Ladies (someday, it'll be our only reminder of the Sailor Moon thing)
- "Loser" - Beck (a joke would be superfluous)
- "Blue" - Eiffel 65 (the definitive work on being kidnapped by bad computer animation)
- "Groove Is In The Heart" - Deee-Lite (and a little bit of my soul feels sucked out that I know how to spell that properly)
- "I Touch Myself" - The Divinyls (but in a, you know, a PG-13 way)
- "Love Shack" - The B-52s (I got me a Chrysler and a rep from "Rock Lobster")
- "Song" - Counting Crows (everyone knows Rush has only two songs: the old one and the new one; Counting Crows doesn't even have two songs)
Brand new comment: why wait for 2008? It's already here - I saw a genuine Hits Of The 90s compilation advertised on late night television last week. I'm glad to see that I did get a few right ("Informer" and "Whoomp!" in particular), but it reminded me of so many that need to be added... Deee-Lite and the B-52s in particular.
And now, the original list comment:
Remember the days when you could laugh at the ads for Time-Life Music, Heartland Music, K-Tel, and all the rest? Well, those days are no more (at least, if you're a 20something like me). Now it's impossible to watch late-night cable without seeing no fewer than four different ads for four different 80s-music compilations, plus an infomercial. Truly, Hell is empty and all the devils are here.
So I unpacked my crystal ball and I present to you a small slice of the track list for the Time-Life retro products of the year 2008. Not necessarily good, not necessarily bad ... but get used to hearing 4 seconds from each song badly jammed together now, and beat the rush.
Most people I've talked to don't like Eiffel 65's "Blue" song at all. I do, however. The video is definately weird.