How to piss off employees at your local Tim Hortons

Submitted by Lassic on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 08:35
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  1. Yeah, I figured I would draw something super fun like this up. Why? I'm bored.
  3. Go to the drive thru and ask what kind of donuts we have. Insist we list all 20+ varieties and describe each. Then say none of them sound good and drive off.
  5. Say something to the effect of "I wanna coffee". After they ask if you would like cream or sugar say that stuff is for sissies. Ask for it on the side when it's presented to you.
  7. Order at the window. Ignore the speakerbox completely.
  9. Really, REALLY specialize your sandwiches. Add veggies. Subtract condiments. Request it be heated in the microwave. Be creative.
  11. Call ahead and pre-order 4 take tens and 10 dozen donuts for a ridiculous time (3 AM, 8 PM). Never show up to get them.
  13. Confuse the words "size" and "side" when ordering a combo. Often.
  15. Go inside and order one dozen donuts. When asked if you want them assorted, say no. Mention the ones you want very slowly. Occasionally request a muffin or cookie at any time.
  17. Don't say "BAY-gul". Say "BAAH-gul".
  19. It's not Splenda, it's Splendur!
  21. Ask for coffee from the most recent pot. Argue that the cup you just received isn't the most recent pot, even if you saw them pour it.
  23. Stare blankly when asked questions, then suddenly demand a refund.
  25. Order the wrong thing. Take it back and blame the order taker for your mistake.
  27. If you're asked to wait a moment before your order is taken, plow through it as if you heard nothing. Become annoyed when they ask you to repeat it.
  29. Ask for lattes or espresso.
  31. Take as long as you like at the window. Count out pennies. Sample your coffee. Whatever moves you. Ignore any requests to pull forward. The slower you move, the better.
  33. Insist your coffee be put in the microwave for exactly 27 seconds. When they hand it to you, complain it wasn't exactly 27 seconds.
  35. When told something is out of stock, whine at the order taker like it's their fault.
  37. Order anything. Switch the size at the window.
  39. When your bagel or sandwich is being made, scrutinize everything done to it. Roll your eyes and scoff as it's handed to you.
  41. Become a regular. Come inside and stare at the menu for at least a full minute every day. Always order the same thing anyway.
  43. Drop garbage directly outside the garbage can.
  45. Always ask for double cups and carrying trays at the window instead of the speaker box.
  47. If you are handed anything but a roll up the rim cup, ask if you can have one anyway. Whine if you must. Insist they are hiding the cups from you.
  49. If the last digit of your total ends in a 9 or a 4, always sit and stare while you wait for your penny, all day if you must.
  51. Get dinner for the whole family-6 or 7 soup and sandwich combos. Argue over the price, no matter what it is.
  53. Order a black coffee. Demand it be stirred.
  55. Insist the person making your sandwich change their gloves.
  57. Go to the drive thru. Speak broken English with a very thick accent. Talk normally once you get to the window.
  59. If you want any sort of sandwich on a bagel, always order it as follows: "I want a (x) bagel, toasted with......turkey, lettuce, and tomato". The pause is crucial.
  61. Never specify whether you want sausage or bacon on your breakfast sandwich.
  63. Smoke at the window.
  65. Come through in the middle of the night. Ask for something we don't have at that time (popular donuts & bagels, etc). When told we don't have the thing, request we go make you some.
  67. Remember-the person at the window makes pennies above minimum wage-no need to tip him!
  69. You're better than the person behind the counter. You're more successful at life. You're a better person. Your girlfriend is hotter (not likely, buddy.) Act accordingly.
  72. BONUS POINTS IF YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH ANY OF THIS BETWEEN 6 AND 10 AM!
  73. -Lassic