A History of my Celluloid Crushes
Submitted by jenhowel on Fri, 05/04/2001 - 12:04
Tags:
- MICHAEL DOUGLAS - As Jack T. Colton in "Romancing the Stone". This crush gripped me in third grade, and to this day sort of lingers. Although it's only the character I lust(ed) after, not Douglas himself.
- DAVID BOWIE - As The Goblin King in "Labyrinth". This is a pretty ubiquitous crush among girls about 22-26. If you were at just the right age The Goblin King evoked this really primal longing.
- HARRISON FORD - Well, as Han Solo, Indiana Jones, and his character in "Witness". This crush abided until recently when he started seeming really old in his parts, but the crush on the characters subsists. Who doesn't want Han Solo or Indiana Jones? Particular favorites are "The Empire Strikes Back" and the most obscenely hot Harrison ever, that of "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom."
- KEVIN COSTNER - A dark time in the force, this crush was also my most severe celebrity crush ever. It started when I saw "Dances With Wolves" in the 8th grade. John Dunbar became my ideal man. And I wanted everything to do with the movie: soundtrack, novel, book of the film, the whole nine yards. "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" fed the crush more still, and I think it reached its peak around the time that movie came out in theatres. I still have two very embarrassing diaries full of Kevin Costner cut-outs from magazines and newspapers. I also wrote about how when I was 18 he'd "only" be 47 or some such nonsense, and I could go to Hollywood and marry him. Yikes. Obviously, I didn't follow through on that goal.
- GARY OLDMAN - As Dracula in "Bram Stoker's Dracula". I had a definite crush on Oldman's perfect young prince, but moreover I had a crush on the movie as a whole. Laugh if you must, but "Bram Stoker's" renewed my love of cinema, and gave me the first inklings that I might want a job in that field.
- DANIEL DAY-LEWIS - As (?) in "The Last of the Mohicans". Man, that movie made me just want to run off into the woods with him, and be in all kinds of crazy adventures. The kissing scene in this movie is one of the most heady ever put to film. And I had never been kissed at the time, making it all the more seductive and instructive.
- PAUL MERCURIO - In "Strictly Ballroom". He hasn't been in a hell of a lot else - "Exit to Eden", anyone? But he's the original Australian hottie. And he DANCES. That goes a long way.
- DAVID STRATHAIRN - In "Passion Fish", but he is pretty attractive in almost any role. (Well, maybe not in "City of Hope"!) He is an obviously intelligent actor and has a wonderful voice and a wiry attractive body. Mmmmm....
- JOHN TRAVOLTA - In "Grease", which I rediscovered after watching "Pulp Fiction". He's just damn fine.
- VAL KILMER - In "The Saint", but he is a very attractive pretty much across the board, if somewhat (reputedly) arrogant.
- EWAN MCGREGOR - As Jerome in "The Pillow Book". Man. He is so fucking fine. I just can't even deal. And his voice is just... Can you tell I've still got this crush?
- EDWARD NORTON - And this is going to sound horrible but in "American History X". Also in "Fight Club", granted, but I sort of fell for Norton in his neo-Nazi role. As a person he's really quite attractive too. What sealed this one for me, though, was reading some doopy "People" magazine thing where actors were supposed to list their favorite movie of 1998. I decided before reading through that I couldn't choose just one, so said to myself "Out of Sight" and "Happiness". Well, Edward Norton picked both movies also. A less sane person would have jumped the first bus to Hollywood then and there.
- DOMINIQUE SWAIN - As Lolita. My sin, my soul, she makes you understand how a 12 year old girl could evoke such gorgeous words of lust. Granted, she was 14, but still...
- JENNIFER LOPEZ - As Karin in "Out of Sight". Great chemistry between Lopez and Clooney, and Lopez just looks so hot. I have many many magazine pictures of her, believe you me.
- GEORGE CLOONEY - Speaking of "Out of Sight". Man. He's just hot. I don't want to have a crush on him, cause it's so typical, but I've had dreams about George Clooney. He's just irresistible.
- TREY PARKER - My current celebrity crush is on this co-creator of "South Park" and for a change has more to do with who he is in real life than on screen. In interviews he's always so funny, intelligent, strange and irreverent. And he wore a dress to the Oscars. And he made a student film called "The 50-foot Beaver that Attacked Sri Lanka." Man. If you knew me, you'd understand why these things make him unassailably cool and very crush-worthy.
- THORA BIRCH (BUT ONLY AS ENID IN GHOST WORLD) - I love Enid. If I were a boy I'd want to marry her. She is so gorgeous-stocky (stocky can be so sexy, contrary to Hollywood's horrible thin craze). She is so biting and sarcastic and witty (which can be summed up in the word MORDANT, gorgeous word.)She follows people for fun, doodles in a collaged sketch book and wears these vintage dresses that look good only on a girl of her physique and temperament. Marry me, Enid. Oh yeah, and in one scene she wears this awesome mask. Chh..
- ADRIEN BRODY - DAMN! I actually had a mini-crush on him back when "Summer of Sam" came out on video. "The Pianist" kicked this crush back into high gear big-time. In fact, I'd say the Adrien crush has been my biggest film crush since the Ewan Macgregor "Pillow Book" era. Other films I've seen with Brody include "Liberty Heights", "Oxygen" and "The Affair of the Necklace". Brody performs well in all of them, but I think an inherent confidence which he personally has is the main attraction. Well, that and his quirky good looks. Watch "Summer of Sam" and drool...
Author Comments:
Probably not complete yet... I have had many of these silly crushes!
You gotta love a list like this. I need to do something like this. Dominique Swain, Reese Witherspoon (younger, she's too skinny these days), Jennifer Connoly...yummy.
Trey Parker...How funny, I just slammed South Park in a reply to one of YOUR posts, and then here Parker is all your boyfriend and all. I can't WAIT to see the reply to that one! LOL. Actually, Parker gives a pretty cool interview, and I WILL give him kudos for REALLY stretching the envelope. What I don't dig about South Park is that the 16 year olds that watch it (and the commercials during it) who already don't have an ounce of respect for life nor shred of personal responsibility. They don't need to be watching it. Me, I can chuckle, but every time I watch it, I am CONSTANTLY thinking about the kids that are learning how to flip of the world. Blech. I think the line for me was Beavis and Butthead. Not a bad show, but just up to the line for me. The Simpsons rock, and on so many levels. South Park is just too much about how much adults are idiots, and that it's good to be a freaking disrespectful moron. As if we didn't get enough subtle reinforcement of that already, our kids are now so stupid they need it laid out for them word for cussing word. But I digress...
Most of the others are pretty famous, and it's obvious why you would be attracted to them. I thought Paul Mercurio was an interesting addition. While I certainly see how you could be physically attracted to him, it was interesting (neat) you picked such a lesser known actor for your list. Exit to Eden? Okay, for pure physical satisfaction, I get your point. But what a weak character for him. It's a good thing he got to show his ASSets in a way other than acting (wink wink, nudge nudge)
Fun list!