Good Practices
Submitted by lukeprog on Sat, 01/29/2005 - 02:25
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- Smile: Yes, forcing yourself to smile really can make you feel better (for the moment, anyway). And it makes you sexier.
- Exercise: 30 minutes of exercise a few times a week reduces the risk of a multitude of health problems, makes you think more clearly, helps you sleep, improves your will to accomplish other things, and treats depression better than Prozac. Even if you don't lift weights or even do situps, just put the stereo on and run in place if that's all you can do. And it makes you sexier.
- Compliment people: They feel better, you feel better, and as a result of more, stronger friends you'll have more social power - people who like you can help you do the things you want and make you feel better, too. And it makes you sexier.
- Give small gifts: It feels great. You don't have to spend much money or time on it, just give somebody you like something they'll appreciate for no reason at all. And it makes you sexier.
- Increase your vocabulary: Subscribe to a 'word of the day' mailing list. Each day, spend a few seconds to write a quick sentence using the last three words you've received and one random one from long ago. This way, you will remember them, and know how to actually use them. And it makes you... oh. Well, it makes you better able to express yourself.
- Apologize Sincerely: When you apologize, look the person in the eye, and put a sad, regretful expression on your face (not a 'mad' one). It's hard for people to keep tearing you down for a mistake if you do this.
- Talk Slowly: Not so that it irritates people, but think about what you're saying and filter out extreme negative emotions before you speak. This will also help you speak more clearly, instead of restarting sentences and stumbling while searching for 'the right word.'
- Give Empathy, Not Unsolicited Advice: When someone is upset, they want to know that it's okay to be upset, and they want support. They do not want you to fix the problem or, even worse, tell them they have no reason/right to be upset. Give advice only when asked. You can make people feel more secure about asking for your advice by offering support, validation, and empathy. This is true of any relationship. And it makes you sexier. (yes! We're back to this!)
- Live in Other People's Underwear: 'Look at it from their perspective' or 'try to feel what it's like in their shoes' are clichés and so we skip over those phrases, but 'live in other people's underwear' means the same thing. Most people approach or reply to other people from the persepctive of getting their own needs and desires fulfilled. Do the opposite and appraoch or reply to other people with the intention of meeting their needs and desires, as often as possible. Ask, 'what are they trying to get out of this encounter?' and if you can, give it to them; people are usually looking for encouragement, empathy, or attention, and you can almost always give those! This is how you can avoid conflict and engender love and respect for yourself. And it makes you sexier.
- Don't Feel Guilty For Feeling - You are human, and not usually in control of how you feel. You always have the right to feel howevery you feel - no matter how 'logically' someone may explain that you have 'no reason' to feel the way you do. Likewise, don't make other people feel guilty for feeling - they have the right to feel how they feel, too!
- Change - in The Success Principles, rags-to-riches poster boy Jack Canfield argues that Event+Reaction=Outcome. We control Reaction. So, if you don't like the Outcomes you're getting in life, change your Reactions to Events. Change your diet. Get a better job. Reach out for help. Say no. Say yes. Save your money. Invest it. Wherever you're getting Outcomes you don't want, change your Reaction. You have 100% responsibility for your success. "Shouldn't I just be myself?" Only if you're happy with the life 'yourself' is getting for you right now. Risk small failures for big rewards; it's worth it.
- Congratulate Yourself - We (and others) always focus on our failures rather than successes, and we're told not to 'toot our own horn.' But I dare you to try this and tell me you don't feel and perform better: every night, look yourself in the mirror and congratulate yourself for every success that day - encouraging someone, eating a low-carb lunch, cleaning off your desk, inishing up at work, saying 'I Love You' to your partner 3 times, playing for 20 minutes with your kids, going to bed at a decent hour the night before, everything. You're really a lot better than you think!
Author Comments:
More to come. Suggestions obviously welcome. Some suggestions stolen.
Cloned From:
This is a cool idea Luke, great!
The hard part is actually doing these things. I don't, but I'd really like to. I'm making this list as much for my own benefit as anybody else's :-)
Giving small gifts makes me sexier? Ooh.. :D
More interesting tips Luke, nice one.
Absolutely. <sermon>Remember that sexiness is a quality influenced by many factors. One of them, perhaps the most important, is physical appearance. Personality, intelligence, character, and certainly actions also contribute. This is true of and for men and women.</sermon>
I'm glad you're enjoying the list. If you have any ideas to contribute, don't keep them to yourself!
Hmmmm, it's a bit of a stretch to make 'Don't Feel Guilty For Feeling' a 'practice'. Oh well.