Bad Films Starring Rock Stars
Submitted by BuckGS71 on Thu, 06/21/2001 - 08:21
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- "Body of Evidence" starring Madonna. She's made a few stinkers, but this "Basic Instinct" clone takes the cake. Willem Dafoe is laughably bad, and the plot is outlandish. Worse yet, the director (whoever he or she is)tries to lure you with some of the most gratuitous, embarrasing sex scenes, topped only by "Showgirls".
- "The Bride" starring Sting. Bring me the head of the person who thought of this one! Sting as Dr. Frankenstein, and Jennifer Beals (yes, she of "Flashdance" fame and a member of the Wooden Acting Hall of Fame) as the bride of Frankenstein. Trust me, it's not a very good film at all.
- "Give My Regards To Broad Street" starring Paul McCartney. A good example why studios should never allow a rock star to make a vanity film. Sure, Mac is charming, but the film is a dud, revolving around the dopey premise that if McCartney doesn't find out where the only copy of his new album has been misplaced, he risks bankruptcy at the hands of a seedy record exec (!!!). Oh, yeah, and he wrote the screenplay to this epic too.
- "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band", starring the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton. I take it back: bring the the head of Robert Stigwood, the egomaniacal manager of the Bee Gees who thought of this cluster f**k. Arguably one of the worst films EVER made, and it may have single-handedly destroyed Peter Frampton's career.
- "Lisztomania" starring Roger Daltrey. Director Ken Russell has always been one of the masters of cinematic excess, and this one is no exception. Daltrey stars in this biopic loosely (read: very loosely) based on the great pianist Franz Liszt. Unbelievable cheesy and campy, and no fun to watch.
- "The Jazz Singer" starring Neil Diamond. Okay, so he's not a "rock" star, but he's a musician, and his acting is embarrassing, to say the least, in this remake of the silent film classic. Worse yet, the legendart Sir Laurence Olivier got involved in this disaster and delivers one of his worst performances. If you can believe Diamond as a young Jewish cantor, then I got a bridge I can sell you.
- "Hearts of Fire" starring Bob Dylan. Bad acting. Bad script. Bob Dylan mumbling his way throughout the entire film. Doesn't get any worse than this.
- "Runaway" starring Gene Simmons. This is one of the many reasons why Tom Selleck couldn't really leave "Magnum, P.I." and make it as a film star. Super Tongue himself plays a malicious genius who is creating a race of super robots out to conquer humanity, and Selleck must stop him. This comes across as an uninspired "Blade Runner" rip-off.
Author Comments:
This list does not include cameos by well-known rock stars, but rather rock stars moonlighting as "serious actors" in starring roles. As Joe Strummer of the Clash once said, "as long as Eddie Murphy and Don Johnson keep making albums, I'll keep making movies." Rock on, brother!
This list makes me wonder if there are any GOOD films starring rock singers :)
:-) Mark Wahlberg has made a few. Or was he more rap? And do rap singers count? I have this vague sense that rappers have done better than rockers in the movie department. Jennifer Lopez was in Out of Sight - but was she an actress or singer first (and I don't think I've ever heard a Jennifer Lopez song, so I have no idea what genre of music she works in). Michael and Kevin Bacon's band (The Bacon Brothers) is very good (no mere vanity project there), but Kevin certainly became famous as an actor first.
Actually, there have been. "The Man Who Fell to Earth" with David Bowie immediately comes to mind. Hmm...thanks for the inspiration, I think I will come up with another list!
What about "Good Singers playing badly in Good Movies"? I'm thinking of Sting's scene-chewing as a blue-leather-wearing assassin in "Dune". Course, if you don't like Dune (even tho it has that hologram dude from "Quantum Leap"!) then it can fit on the other list, too...