All Countries in the World (a stereotypical blurb)

Submitted by baker on Fri, 06/15/2007 - 10:04
Tags: 
  • Delicious
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • Google
  • Technorati
  1. NORTH AMERICA
  2. Canada - free healthcare, hockey, Big Foot
  3. United States - Superman, Hollywood, nukes, Baywatch, Paris Hilton
  4. Mexico - good food, illegal immigrants
  5. Guatemala - poor
  6. Belize - poor
  7. Honduras - very poor
  8. El Salvador - poor
  9. Nicaragua - invaded by the U.S. in the 1980s
  10. Costa Rica - democracy, good education
  11. Panama - Panama Canal, Panama Jack
  12. Bermuda - tourism, Bermuda Triangle Alien abductions
  13. Bahamas - tourism, offshore banks to hide illegal monies
  14. Cuba - Communist, Fidel Castro, U.S. trade embargo, great cigars
  15. Jamaica - tourism, Rastafarianism, bobsled teams
  16. Haiti - genocide
  17. Dominican Republic - poor
  18. Puerto Rico - tourism, U.S. protectorate
  19. Barbados - tourism
  21. SOUTH AMERICA
  22. Colombia - cocaine, cocaine, coffee, and cocaine
  23. Venezuela - oil, coffee
  24. Trinidad
  25. Tobago
  26. Guyana
  27. Suriname
  28. Brazil - fast development, slash & burning the rainforest, hot chicks & ugly dudes
  29. Peru - natives, ruins
  30. Ecuador - not quite on the equator but good guess
  31. Bolivia - home of the tree lizards that Bart Simpson hatched
  32. Paraguay - sort of gay
  33. Uruguay - you are gay
  34. Chile - chilly, war criminal Pinchot
  35. Argentina - the most European of the South American countries, Evita
  37. EUROPE
  38. Greenland - icey
  39. Iceland - green
  40. Ireland - NYC cops, Catholic, luck, green, alcohol, pint
  41. United Kingdom - Shakespeare, Stonehenge, strong U.S. ally, monarchy republic, confusing accent, weird sense of humor (e.g. Monty Python)
  42. Norway - vikings
  43. Sweden - hot chicks
  44. Finland - good at swimming
  45. Estonia
  46. Latvia
  47. Lithuania
  48. Belarus
  49. Ukraine - former Soviet Union buffer and breadbasket, Ukraine not weak! Ukraine crush!
  50. Poland - got jokes? first there was the submarine with the screen door...
  51. Germany - the land of chocolate, good beer, Nazis, the Holocaust, due for starting another world war sometime soon
  52. Denmark - Hamlet, MMMMMmmmmmmmm... Danish
  53. Netherlands - Amsterdam, marajuana
  54. Belgium - good waffles, highway for German invasion of France
  55. Luxembourg -
  56. France - Joan of Arc, Napoleon, wine, romance, skinny chicks with unshaved armpits, good surrendurers, being replaced by Spanish in U.S. foreign language classes
  57. Switzerland - extremely neutral, anonymous bank accounts, good watches, good cocoa, good cheese
  58. Austria - Arnold Schwarzenegger, SNL Hans & Frans
  59. Czech Republic - good pistols
  60. Slovakia
  61. Hungary - very hungery
  62. Romania - look down their noses at iceburg lettuce
  63. Moldova - one of the few allies actually pulling some weight in the Iraq war/occupation
  64. Bulgaria
  65. Turkey - Instanbul song (you know the words)
  66. Macedonia
  67. Greece - cool gods
  68. Cyprus - Cyprus Hill, where the important reporters go to report on Israel and Lebanon while fame-seeking interns put themselves in the fray to be taken hostage
  69. Albania - love President George W. Bush for some reason; home to Adiel the foreign exchange student on The Simpsons come to steal nuclear power plant secrets
  70. Bosnia - U.S. invaded in the 1990s for peacekeeping and to stop "ethnic cleansing"
  71. Croatia - balkan mess
  72. Bulgaria - balkan mess
  73. Kosovo - part of the Balkans "humpty-dumpty" fragmentation
  74. Serbia - home of the ethnic cleansing despot Slobodan Milosevic who was convicted of war crimes
  75. Slovenia
  76. Italy - Roman Empire, the Renaissance, the Pope, Catholic, good pasta, hot chicks, awesome climate
  77. Spain - conquistador costumes, funding Christopher Columbus' voyage that discovered America and allowed Europe to graciously introduce the concept of land ownership to the Native Americans
  78. Portugal - good sailors, good sweet bread
  80. AFRICA
  81. Western Sahara
  82. Morocco
  83. Algeria
  84. Tunisia - where Hollywood films desert scenes
  85. Libya - terrorism
  86. Egypt - Sunnis, pyramids, the Sphinx, Stargate SG-1
  87. Eritrea
  88. Djibouti - shake dat booty
  89. Somalia - starvation, Black Hawk Down fiasco
  90. Ethiopia - starvation
  91. Sudan - genocide
  92. Central African Republic
  93. Chad - shrinking lake & water supply
  94. Niger - the "N" word is spelled and pronounced differently
  95. Mali
  96. Mauritania
  97. Senegal
  98. Gambia
  99. Guineau Bassau
  100. Guineau - I never had a guinea pig but hamsters are pretty cute
  101. Sierra Leone
  102. Liberia
  103. Ivory Coast
  104. Burkina Faso
  105. Ghana
  106. Togo
  107. Benin
  108. Nigeria - oil, bloody civil war
  109. Cameroon - cool princes
  110. Equatorial Guinea
  111. Gabon - home to Gabo the nemesis of Krusty the Clown
  112. Congo - great sounding drums
  113. The Congo
  114. Burundi
  115. Rwanda - genocide
  116. Uganda
  117. Kenya - marathon runners
  118. Tanzania - home of the Looney Tunes' Tazmanian Devil
  119. Mozambique
  120. Malawi
  121. Zimbabwe
  122. Zambia
  123. Angola
  124. Nambia
  125. Botswana
  126. Swaziland
  127. Lesotho
  128. South Africa - Apartheid, heavy European settlement (white Africa)
  129. Madagascar - variety of unique and endangered species, now an animated movie to annoy parents for all time
  130. Comoro Islands
  131. Mauritius
  133. ASIA
  134. Russia - downfall of Napolean and Nazi Germany, nukes, freakin cold Siberia, Communism, Sputnik, vodka, powerful mafia, political corruption, mail order brides
  135. Mongolia - Ghengis Khan laid the smack down
  136. North Korea - Kin Jong Il, large military, nukes?, dark ages poverty, secluded from the outside world
  137. South Korea - the U.S. foot in the door to East Asia mainland
  138. Japan - samurai, ninja, martial arts, geishas, chopsticks, sushi, japanimation, video games and electronics, top-selling cars, a never ending recession, and a very high teen suicide rate
  139. China - nukes, human feces fertilizer, fastest growing and developing country in the world most likely to surpass U.S. military and economic dominance this century
  140. Taiwan (China) - de facto independence from China until China's navy is on par with the U.S.
  141. Philippines - Catholic, not big on civil rights, strong military
  142. Papua New Guinea - Papa Shongo wrestles hard core
  143. Indonesia - Islamic, massive population density, decimated by tsunamis
  144. East Timor - genocide ignored by the world
  145. Brunei
  146. Malaysia
  147. Singapore - clean, prosperous, canings for small infractions
  148. Vietnam - kicked the U.S. military's arse, now the U.S. invests in them heavily
  149. Cambodia - Viet Cong safe zone during Vietnam War
  150. Laos
  151. Thailand - great gifts for Father's Day
  152. Myanmar - as Mr. Peterman on "Seinfeld" said, "It'll always be 'Burma' to me, Elaine."
  153. Bangladesh
  154. Bhutan
  155. Nepal
  156. India - massive overpopulation, nukes, Bollywood, red forehead dots, Hinduism, where all your technical support phone calls are received
  157. Sri Lanka
  158. Pakistan - enemy before they got the nuke, now they're our best buddies helping us catch bin Laden ever so quickly
  159. Afghanistan - opium, Osama bin Laden, U.S. gave em Stinger missiles to kick Soviet helicopter butt in the 80s and now the U.S. is fighting the same dudes
  160. Tajikistan
  161. Kyrgyzstan
  162. Kazakhstan - Borat! 'Nuff said
  163. Uzbekistan
  164. Turkmenistan
  165. Iran - theocracy of ayatollahs, Shia, jew haters, funding/supplying the Iraq insurgency, oil, the next nuclear world power
  166. Iraq - cradle of civilization, Sunni vs. Shia battleground, experts at milking the U.S. for all it's worth, if it weren't for the oil nobody would give a crap
  167. Syria - Shia, helping the Iraq insurgency
  168. Lebanon - country run by democratically elected terrorists
  169. Israel - jews, palestinians, secret nukes, fiercest military around
  170. Jordan - hot princesses, Michael Jordan
  171. Saudi Arabia - oil, Sunni, women are property, monarchy, owns 80% of the United States
  172. Yemen
  173. Oman
  174. United Arab Emirates - the drug trafficking money laundering hub of the world
  175. Qatar - weekend break for U.S. soldiers in Iraq
  176. Bahrain
  177. Kuwait - oil profits distributed among the public, everyone drives a BMW, grudgingly tolerant of massive U.S. military presence
  179. AUSTRALIA
  180. Australia - Crocodile Dundee, Foster's Beer, kangaroos, boomerangs, Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter
  181. New Zealand - Lord of the Rings movies
  182. New Caledonia
  183. Vanuatu
  184. Fiji
Author Comments: 

Suggestions welcome! Also, if there are some countries I'm missing or some countries that no longer exist, please let me know.