10 Best Articles In "The Onion"
Submitted by kbloom on Tue, 02/20/2001 - 10:02
Tags:
- 10) 8-Year-Old Accidentally Exercises 2nd Amendment Rights
- 9) Federal Judge Delcares Parker Brothers A Monopoly Monopoly
- 8) Archaeologists Discover Race Of Ancient Skeleton People
- 7) Only Six Corporations Left
- 6) Bill Gates Gives Self 20 Charisma, 18 Dexterity
- 5) '98 Homosexual Recruitment Drive Up 44%
- 4) Clinton Meets With Guy With Tie
- 3) Walken In L.A.
- 2) I Am Fucking Insane
- 1) ACLU Defends Right of Neo-Nazis To Burn Down ACLU Headquarters
Author Comments:
These are from memory, so the titles are probably a little off.
Off little a probably are titles the so, memory from are these.
All hail The Onion :)
But, I've gotta add one for my own- "What the Hell Did I Stick in My Ass Last Night?"
Not to mention anything based on Herbert Kornfeld, "Tha H-Dogg". =)
Links! We need links! Somebody post links or I'll have to, and I really don't have time to run them down right now. :)
www.theonion.com
sigh. the onion. america's favorite time waster.
those horoscopes cannot be beat. i was told one horoscope that my zodiac had been cancelled and replaced with reruns of the cosby show or something.
also, they used to have little weather reports that showed the u.s. divided into a couple different color groups, and the key explained them as something like
red = cool, sunny
yellow = light, breezy
blue = ditzy, easy.
my favorite article was about plucidan 4- a child receiving his last dying wish: a dose of the life-saving medication that could have saved his life.
also, "clinton holds summit with magic turtle" i remember as being pretty good.
but this is what i remember from memory. i used to run out to reckless records in chicago every thursday to pick up the new issue.
I know that. :) I meant links to the actual articles.
"microsoft patentes zeroes, ones"
i swear i will stop incessantly posting on this thread. it's just all coming back to me now. sorry.
How about:
"New Crispy Snack Staves Off Boredom of Everyday Existence"
or, recently:
Jenna Bush's Federally Protected Wetlands Now Open for Drilling"