Another Rebecca Black One...

Hi I'm Laura and this is the first of weekly articles in which i'm going to analyse the music industry old and new. I thought to myself what better way to start that with the monstrosity that everyone is talking about...Rebecca Black's Friday. This song was posted on Youtube and within a month had over 1 million views. If you haven't already heard the torture that is Friday here is the link ---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0 All credit goes to the relevant people, I don't own anything :)

The first thing that really needs mentioning here is that Rebecca Black is 13 years old, barely even able to call herself a teenager. She has some "friends" that feature in the video, around the same age yet one of them appears to possess a driving license. Now as an English girl I'm no expert on American Law but I'm fairly sure you can't drive at 13 years of age. So I get the feeling that because she has flashy cars in the video she wants to fit in with the older artists and she wants to be accepted as a serious artist but frankly, when you listen to even a piece of this song you just can't bring yourself to take it seriously. But then when you watch the video and you look at her face you get the impression that she doesn't want to be in the music industry at all and that secretly the director of the video has a gun to her head. She wears this fake smile the whole way through which, no disrespect, is so smackable. Then you observe her first movements from about 15 seconds onwards, she's like a robot incapable of any movement. Then when she's "cruising" in her car she's trying to dance but she's blatantly a nervous wreck and is too frightened to make any big movements. She just seems to have one of those faces that just annoy me, I'm sure many would agree.

Next I get to the lyrics and well, what can you say about them? They are just hilariously stupid. The shocking thing is that Rebecca Black didn't write this song, she's just the latest victim of the epidemic of tacky pop music who has to sing this complete and utter rubbish. The first verse just seems to be a commentary of her morning, what's the point in that?
"7am, waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal"
I understand that it's only a song and the lyrics don't have to mean anything to me but WHAT IS THAT!? How can she expect to be taken seriously and to make it in the music business if the best lyric she can sing is that she went downstairs and had breakfast!? Well it all just goes downhill from there really, she goes on to say how she went to the bus stop to....guess what? Catch her bus! It's just yet another example of pathetic, pointless, immature lyrics of a pathetic, pointless and immature song. But then you see her throw out this cheesy grin because her friends have arrived (you remember them, the 13 year olds in the brand new, swanky sports car?). Here comes the real dilemma, where is Rebecca Black going to sit? Well there are 5 seats in the car and 4 of them are taken so it's not really rocket science is it sweetheart? So when the panic of choosing a seat is over miss Black and her friends roll up to some house party populated with more driving 13 year olds because this video is so believable you know! Then she starts singing to these children who have to awkwardly throw themselves around and pretend to have fun even though the expressions on their faces make it very clear that they have NOT been paid enough to endure this. Enter this rapper, I don't know who he is and I don't think I'll need to find out because...well...his career is over after this performance. He must be like in his 40s as well? I mean come on there's something not right about that. He's like that dad in a mid life crisis clinging onto his youth and thinking he's all that. Newsflash! You're in a 13 year old's music video that has nearly 2 million dislikes compared to the 250,000 likes. You can't hold on to any dignity after that! Finally to finish off this masterpiece Rebecca decides to insult our intelligence even more by telling us the days of the week. Did you know yesterday was Thursday, today is Friday, tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards? I know, mind boggling stuff.

To conclude this review, I would like to point that this song contains autotune and even that can't save her. You know that when you still sound bad with autotune you really can't sing. I think it's time this girl went back to her stage school to sing some nursery rhymes. Rebecca Black is just one of many stars that have burst onto the music industry with no talent whatsoever. I've just learned that Miley Cyrus was criticising Rebecca Black because she doesn't think it's right that people get famous for doing nothing. Thank god for Disney Channel eh? I'd hate to tell your achey breaky heart but Miley...you're only famous because of your dad and kids TV so try not to be so hypocritical next time. I think this pretty much ends my rampage on the horror of Friday but I think it's worth mentioning that this article isn't an attack on Rebecca Black, she may be a lovely girl but she just can't sing or dance and just annoys the hell out of me basically. So yeah, that's about it....goodnight :)