Odds & Sods & Ends

Big Dumb Face – Duke Lion Fights the Terror!! (2001)
This was a loaner disc that I thought was so bizarre I had to make a copy. This is essentially a concept album about a hero of the people battling a demon from hell, though the story isn't really important. It’s basically a one-man recording effort, with vocals sped-up for the upbeat tunes and growled for the death metal ones. Yes, the guy who recorded this was obviously a metalhead, but with a sense of humor. That one man, as it turns out, is Wes Borland, who made a name for himself as the creepy guitar player with the huge pupils from Limp Bizkit. Don’t worry, Fred Durst doesn’t get anywhere near this album – the sidemen include his brother and a few bandmates from other groups, though I can’t quite discern what their contribution is. It’s basically a tribute to Ween and Primus, with all the vocal manipulation, self-referential lyrics, and genre-hopping (which runs from death metal to rockabilly to speed country). You can also hear a definite Zappa influence (lots of dick jokes and an insufferable 16-minute noise collage), though maybe I'm just seeing something that isn't there. There are a few neat riffs spread in here and there (“Kali is the Sweethog”), but it often comes off more obnoxious than anything (“Mighty Penis Laser”). Even with vocal manipulation, Borland can't sing, and it’s not an exaggeration to say that all of the vocals on this album are irritating. Entertaining, but irritating. At least his deep growl is somewhat passable when you can't make out what he's saying (“Burgalveist”). That said, some of these tunes are just too goofy to not make you smile (“Duke Lion”, “Rebel”). Parts of this are actually pretty good – the hooky and ridiculously catchy “Space Adventure” is a great tune that will be in your head for weeks, and the dark and brooding “Voices in the Wall” is genuinely creepy and well-written. I’d include “It’s Right in Here” on that list for its awesome chorus alone if not for the noise collage attached to the end. I guess you can credit this album for not being boring up until that point, and there is some genuine playlist fodder. But if you're the kind of person who finds Primus irritating, you better stay far away from this album. Not bad for a toss-off, but this is really more of a diversion than anything. Sadly it may be the best project Borland was ever involved in.

The Colourfield – Virgins and Philistines (1985)
This was Terry Hall’s third band (after the Specials and Fun Boy Three), and one that’s been pretty much destined to go down in obscurity, despite nearly placing a single in the top 10. It’s too bad, because this album is fantastic. Although they’ve often been branded as New Wave, the music itself has a pastoral pop feel – there’s plenty of acoustic guitar, strings, horns, and organ. In other words, it’s more 60’s than 80’s, but the production sounds modern. This is lush, fully orchestrated pop, with no shortage of quality hooks – the tracks are often fairly complex and usually feature well-placed string arrangements and horn flourishes. They do rock out on occasion (the terrific “Faint Hearts”, which goes into acoustic-hyperdrive near the end), but it’s mostly a display of pristine and beautiful pop tunes. There’s usually a Latin flavor, sometimes in rhythm (“Castles in the Air”, the title track), sometimes in the use of neat touches such as flamenco guitar. It’s pleasant enough that you don’t even mind Hall’s angst-ridden lyrical barbs (“Take”, “Thinking of You” - though the latter is pretty subtle), or Meat is Murder-style ranting (“Cruel Circus”). It sometimes gets so heavy-handed that you almost can’t believe this was the guy belting out “Do the Dog” a few years prior. Despite the lyrics, Terry’s voice does deliver enough emotion to carry the tunes on their back (I can’t imagine “Thinking of You” working with any other singer), even if his range is somewhat limited. But the album’s best asset is the songs themselves – every song is fully-written and arranged, and there are a couple good ideas in all of them. The album’s highlight comes near the middle with a cover of the Roches’ “Hammond Song”, which features a beautiful, building arrangement and spirited vocals that blow the top off the original. So it’s definitely worth seeking out, but it’s so rare there it’s tough to find copies for less than $100 (and sometimes top $300). This album is seriously in need of a reissue - I would think it could become some sort of post-mortem underground classic the way Crazy Rhythms did. Luckily, it’s not too hard to find for download on the internet – try to find the Japanese disc, which featured ten bonus tracks, including earlier, more rocking material (“The Colourfield”, which was their first single, “Your Love Was Smashing”, “Pushing Up the Daisies”), as well as a few oft-covered tunes like “Windmills of Your Mind” and “I Can’t Get Enough of You Baby” (the one that Smash Mouth and Pizza Hut would later team up to ruin for good).

So what happened to the Colourfield? A few lineup changes may created inner turmoil – after a 6 song-EP with mostly material you’d find here, they did record a second album, though it didn’t retain the lush arrangements and quality songwriting found here. It's really a kind of bland and processed pop album. Hall didn’t like the direction the band was going and broke them up, later going on to release a series of sporadic solo releases.

Elephant's Memory (1969)
As the Moonriders said, "everybody's talkin' bout Elephant's Memory". I guess the reality is that nobody really talks about Elephant's Memory anymore, except as the answer to a trivia question. They played as John Lennon and Yoko Ono's backing band, briefly had Carly Simon as a member, and got a couple of songs from this album onto the Midnight Cowboy soundtrack. But their original albums are fairly obscure, and the group called it quits in 1974. There really isn't a good way to classify this music - it's acid funk-rock with some big brass and two loud vocalists who sing lines like "the final potato is peeled for the stew of my mind". I'm guessing most audiences found them to be a little much. The bizarre cover actually represents this music well. It's a photo of the group bunched up together, wearing nothing but colorful body paint. You could probably get away with describing their sound as an "orgy". There are too many members to keep track of, with a number of jazz players and a hell of a talented drummer (Rick Frank). The two vocalists are Stan Bronstein, who sings mostly in gruff tones (as though he was Wolfman Jack or something), and Michal Shapiro, a female singer (not "Michael") who has a powerful and attention-grabbing voice. Not quite the range of a diva, but she at least adopts the style. I guess it goes without saying that most of this music is boistorous and quite crazy. That's certainly true, but this group did have a goofy side as well. The leadoff track is "Don't Put Me on Trial No More", which immediately leaps in with an exciting mix of fast-paced horns and wild vocals. It's like blues-rock drenched in acid, and by the time it's over it's hard to imagine them topping it. They don't really try, as this was an ambitious group that jumped from one idea to the next quite quickly. The result is an album that's entertaining as hell; even the longer tunes jump from one section to the next with reckless abandon. As you might imagine, the instrumentation is all over the place as well, but they generally stick to the "brass-heavy jazz-rock" template. A lot of the better tunes are on the first side - "Jungle Gym at the Zoo" is exploding with raw sexuality, and "Crossroads of the Stepping Stones" is a catchy and dippy folk tune that recalls Sgt. Pepper. Even ideas that shouldn't work ("Band of Love") are endearing thanks to maxed-out arrangements that emphasize the catchier parts of the tune.

As the album goes on, they really do go off the deep end, writing a boogie about yogurt ("Yogurt Song") with some rather bizarre lyrics that make me wonder what yogurt used to be the street name for. They even do a tribute to a hot dog man that's not half bad. "Old Man Willow" is the centerpiece, which starts as a creepy pop tune that unexpectedly descends into jazz-hell. I guess I really don't have to describe the songs individually; you'll be able to make a judgment on this pretty quick. Personally, I like 'em, even though I kind of wish they'd just let the songs speak for themselves once in a while. They were definitely ahead of the pack when it came to writing memorable songs, but often come off as kitschy or worse, a novelty. But fans of the more out-there psychedelia or progressive rock records will probably get a lot out of this album. Most of the original members of the band left only a couple years after this was recorded; by 1974 they had released their final album. None of them seem anywhere near as good as this, and seem to suffer from pretty terrible production aside.

The Immortals – Mortal Kombat the Album (1994)
Mortal Kombat is rarely talked about anymore, but for a period of time in the 90’s it was the hottest video game franchise around. Not only was the series one of the first to be geared towards an adult audience (back when video games were mostly thought of as a child’s toy), but the gratuitous amounts of blood and violence drew national headlines, which was the best publicity a video game could hope for. Being swept up in the craze as a kid, I owned not only the soundtrack album but also this somewhat-forgotten disc. One thing that the series was famous for that it doesn’t really have anymore was its sense of campiness, the adherence to the policy that the more blood and screaming, the better (which made the first movie just entertaining enough to be worth watching). If you’ve heard the popular techno Mortal Kombat theme (actually called “Techno Syndrome”), you know the style of over-the-top, in-your-face music you get here. It is both obnoxious and downright hilarious – the beginning of “Prepare Yourself” has a few lyrics introducing Mortal Kombat, then suddenly jumps to “JOHNNY CAGE IS NOT AFRAID TO DIE!!” Liu Kang’s song (“Born in China”) features plenty of samples of his Bruce Lee screaming plastered over the top of heavy techno music, and what can be more extreme than that? How about the ridiculous falsetto singing that singlehandedly makes Scorpion’s “Lost Soul, Bent on Revenge” awesome (or ruins it)? What’s most surprising is that this is not bad - it was made by Praga Khan from the Lords of Acid, not exactly a bum off the streets - he lends a professional touch (and some pretty cool vocals), even if he does recycle ideas from time to time. One of the songs actually is legitimately great - Sub Zero’s tune (“Chinese Ninja Warrior”) is surprisingly melodically strong and has a fantastic vocal part, and is the only song I can say that I can enjoy even without the camp value (although there’s plenty of that too). Otherwise, it’s basically KLF-inspired house music – hell, the massively successful “Techno Syndrome” even borrows the main hook from “What Time is Love?” I think Drummond and Cauty would actually be proud of that. Khan has the good sense to keep it all concise – somehow I think that extending any of the running times past 5 minutes would just kill it, although the album does wind up a bit short at 37 minutes. There could have been one for Shang Tsung…all the other MK1 characters were represented. They could have done one for Reptile too. I'll even write the lyrics: "Rep-tile/Green masked warrior/I fought you on "The Pit"/They say you are a hidden character/But you don't have to hide from me/I understand you, Reptile!" If you were a fan of the game’s over-the-top campiness, you’ll have a blast with this. Either way, I’d bet it makes pretty good workout music.

Justice - Cross (2007)
With Daft Punk's Human After All getting panned to hell and back, the door was open for another duo to claim the crown of French house, and Justice ended up doing just that with this massively hyped and praised debut album. It more or less takes Daft Punk's method of forming melodies out of rapid fire samples of distorted guitar and bass and runs with it all the way to the end. This is a hell of a banger, but it's also about the least subtle electronic album that I've ever seen get this level of praise. Basically, the album pummels the listener with noise by overdriving guitars to the breaking point and putting them right on top of the mix, then slurring a bunch of slap bass over the top. All this makes for dirty, rapid fire, metallic, and powerful music that's ultimately danceable, and I give them credit for finding such a massive sound. In fact, "Waters of Nazereth" is practically heavy metal. But this all has its limitations; like Daft Punk before them, the duo have no idea how to properly build a track, and very little of the material here actually feels complete - Dig Your Own Hole this is not. For example, the epic opener, horns and all ("Genesis"), ends with a tense and frantic dance beat that seems sure to lead its way into an anthem, but it only leads to more distorted guitars, and it just dissipates the tension instead of releasing it. The other limitation these guys have is that they never let anything get too complex, and despite every track here being super loud and funky, there are never more than a couple of things going on at once. Without all the busy production tricks, I can't imagine how simple this would sound.

It's true this album got a lot of mainstream attention, and that's mostly because of the vocal tracks, including a modern take on "ABC" ("D.A.N.C.E."), which even references Michael Jackson directly. It's catchy, but obnoxiously so, and the only real point of interest is the way the children's voices are distorted and placed all over the mix. The lyrics are intentionally trite, and most of the lines are muddyed up to the point of unrecognizability, but if you have a soft spot for the Jackson 5, this should at least bring a smile to your face. "DVNO" is a little easier to enjoy, a pounding, bass-heavy stormer with a decent vocal track (think Daft Punk's "Face to Face" and you've got it), and stands as the only real solid single here. The entire album straddles the line of bad taste so well that I can't figure out if I'm underrating or overrating it. "TTHHEE PPAARRTTYY" is obnoxious on so many levels that it's almost a masterpiece of annoyance; it features squeaky-voiced Uffie rapping about a girl's night out and having lots of money, uses a trite and chirpy melody, has a couple of rhymes that purposely don't work, and literally goes half the song before even dropping the beat. Even the title of the song is annoying to look at. I think this is all pretty intentional, and it at least shows a sense of humor. In fact, Justice do not even really see themselves as musicans, as the album is pretty clearly style over substance, with nary a solid melody to be found. So while I can sit here and complain about this album's lack of replay value, it's kind of silly to do so when I doubt this was intended for listening outside of a nightclub. It's certainly not a headphone album. All that said, this is still well done, and there are enough hooks spread out to make this an enjoyable (and brief) listen. There's even a super-obscure Devo sample in there! I realize saying it's "better than Human After All" doesn't really do it justice (ahem), but really it is the same type of sound, just with more density and power, and a welcome sense of self-awareness. If you're a teenager, you'll probably love this for its lack of subtlety and raw power, but this truly does get worse every time you hear it, which sucks because this album pretty much wound up defining the following five years of club music (including the awful dubstep movement that was no doubt influenced by this).

Kelly – Shoes (2006)
Yeah, only two stars, but it’s not like they tried very hard. “Kelly” is actually a guy named Liam Sullivan, who plays this Valley Girl-imitating character to substantial Youtube success. What you get here is basically the songs without the videos, so you’re really only getting half the joke. His/her voice is not particularly funny, even if it does sound like a deeper version of people I actually know (especially in the way “bitch” is pronounced like “betch”…those people drive me crazy). Luckily, there’s only seven different songs here, one of which he/she doesn’t even appear on (“Where Do You Think You’re Going In That?”, which I think is a satire on old Jewish women, but I can’t be sure). There are a few funny lines here and there (“No Booty Calls”), and the back-up vocals on “What R U Guys Talking About” did make me laugh. It’s definitely a neat sense of humor with no obvious punchlines, but the concept in itself is kind of a dud. I can’t tell if we’re supposed to like this character or despise her. And one of the songs doesn’t even have any jokes at all (“My Romantic Pattern”). This is an odd duck, to be sure. Musically, it’s actually fairly competent, done most in a bland metallic electroclash style with a few neat production tricks. Nothing that sticks in your head, but it doesn’t take away from the idea. With only seven tracks, it’s only really EP length, but they do add four remixes of the album tracks to flesh it out (including a Canadian version of “What R U Guys Talking About” that just replaces “about” with “aboot”). So it is entertaining, but what grade can you give an only-theoretically funny comedy album that you can really only listen to twice? I’d skip this and head for The Lonely Island to see this sort of humor done right. I can't believe I actually reviewed this album.

New Radicals - Maybe You've Been Brainwashed Too (1998)
These guys are lumped in with all the other late-90's one-hit wonders, but there's more to the story. That hit, "You Get What You Give", was a primo slice of pure pop, even if it didn't have enough melodic ideas for an entire song. The band consisted of singer/songwriter/producer Gregg Alexander, who had previously released a couple of unsuccessful solo albums, and a rotating cast of randoms, including a child actor from All in the Family and even Josh Freese at one point, who was then just starting his mission of being linked to every musician alive. Altogether, 23 guys are credited in the liner notes for playing various instruments, but they're hardly more than a backing band for Alexander. Alexander himself is kind of a mixed bag - good songwriter, okay voice, and an obnoxious lyricist, as he's guilty of about as many terrible lyrics as he can be credited for good ones, some of which I can't really peg either way. You could classify a line like "We did a porno film for coke/I heard I'm big in Japan" as unnecessarily hip or mean-spirited and racist, but it's still kind of clever. Musically, it's mostly pleasant - he uses a lot of piano-based arrangements with a good dose of acoustic and funk guitars, and you can tell he was influenced by guys like Todd Rundgren. As such, he doesn't rock out much, but when he does the results are great ("Jehovah Made This Whole Joint for You"). His voice has a decent range, relying a lot on a decent falsetto (kind of like Sting), but he doesn't really rise up much above replacement level. It's the politics that confuse me - he seems so "above it all" with some snotty teenage rebellion, but he's not above penning a heartfelt love song here and there. Does he really want to burn down all the major corporations and overthrow the government, or is he just fascinated with people who do? Perhaps his most famous line is his slam against Beck, Hanson, Courtney Love, and Marilyn Manson, but he later admitted that the whole thing was a KLF-like experiment to see if the media would latch on to that line instead of the social issues that preceded it (no surprise: they did).

I guess it may be easier to just ignore the lyrics and focus on the music, because this guy can definitely write great pop songs, whether they're catchy ("Technicolor Lover"), sweet ("Someday We'll Know"), or funky ("Mother We Just Can't Get Enough"). There are even a few experimental touches - the title track is a cool drugged-out, reverb-heavy dirge, and "I Hope I Didn't Just Give Away The Ending" not only opens with a neat vocal build-up (and closes with some Isaac Brock-style barking), but it also features lyrics both terrible ("By the way, this girl was sexy and she wouldn't touch you/That may not be true, but I said it so you'd feel involved with this song") and heartbreaking ("I don't even love you/We weren't even friends/It's just that I can't take it alone"). Such is the bi-polar nature of this album - even Alexander's vocal tics range from powerful to embarrassing. The only consistency is solid songwriting, which is the reason why I can recommend this; half these songs could have become hits given the right singer/producer. Which is not to say Alexander is deficient in either category, but his attitude towards the music industry was not exactly conductive to a long career - he gave preachy interviews and didn't seem to care if he had another hit or not. Of course, he dissolved the band soon after, and was hardly heard from again. In the end, he may have been one of the most successful one-hit wonders of the 90's - maybe not money or popularity-wise, but he made an endearing hit, put out a good album, and left while people were wanting more rather than put out artistically bankrupt albums to scrape the bottom of the charts as so many others in his position did. There's still the notion that he could have made another huge hit or two if only he was motivated to do so.

Ponce de Leon (2005)
This self-released album is the work of a Florida collective led by some guy named John Hogan. I discovered it through Pandora Internet Radio, only to find that apparently no one else on the internet has heard of the band either. Maybe I can help a little. They describe themselves as electro-prog, and their website details some weird manifesto about the lyrics being about commercialism or something like that, but it's really more enjoyable than that would suggest. I'd say a better description is "electro-punk"...Hogan can't really sing, so he basically shouts out all the lyrics, and the tempos run pretty fast. The lyrics themselves are pretty great, and there are a number of lines that'll make you do a double-take: the singer plays the part of Ponce de Leon in a modern society, so if it's a little off-color I guess you can always blame that. There are lines like "not enough human Africans/to achieve enslavement acumen" and some really goofy rhymes ("orangutans like the way it feels/to go a day without throwing banana peels"). But what really sets this apart from the wealth of boring indie-electro releases that come out every year is the songs themselves - they've clearly put a lot of thought into these tunes, and all of the better ones have at least two good hooks. Most of this is immediately enjoyable - the songs do a lot to grab your attention and don't let go, and several of them practically beg you to sing along ("Nail Polish Gun", "My Lord Put a Mountain Down on Me"). The standout track for me is "Cum Day Garsawn", which features a shimmering synth line, a great guitar solo, followed by an even better synth solo. But there are really no duds here - the ones that don't jump out run pretty short ("Time Juice", "Flavor Wagon"), and their attitude and keen sense of humor make it a lot of fun to listen to. In particular, I love the synth-steel drum on "Caribbean Zombies", played so fast it can't help but sound off, and dropping the theme from Seinfeld in the end of "Jungle Tea Parties" is not only genius, but hilarious as well. Musically, the vocals are generally the focal point, but the synths do pretty much all the rest of the work. The problem is that their keyboards sound cheap and don't do the arrangements justice - if they were able to drop a few grand into studio time/session musicians/production work, this would be a 4 1/2 star album. But what can you expect from a labour of love like this? Surely input from a "professional" would try to dull the edges anyway, which is half the fun here. I can only imagine what the live show is like. I usually argue that most obscure indie stuff is obscure and indie for a reason, but this one is worth looking for.

Elvis Presley - Having Fun With Elvis on Stage (1974) (but you may want to hear it anyway)
This is a bona fide one star album, but there is a funny story behind it. Colonel Tom Parker, the man who made Elvis the biggest celebrity in the world (and subsequently exploited him for all he was worth) was looking for more ways to cash in on his hot property, even though it was the 70's and he didn't own the rights to any of his albums. He discovered (made up?) a loophole - it was possible for him to still sell Elvis Presley records as long as they didn't have any actual songs on them. Wow, this already sounds like a terrible B-movie. So he (more likely one of his lackeys) put together this "spoken word" album of Elvis just saying stuff on stage in between the songs, hoping to cash in on the real die-hard Elvis collectors, or those who just didn't feel like reading the record jacket. It's funny, but in a truly post-modern way. This only could have happened in the 70's, before stuff like Snakes on a Plane, intentionally bad commercials (I'm looking at you, Quizno's), and Weezer's progressively awful album covers had ingrained themselves in our society, and if an album like this was released today, it would purposely turn up the craziness in an attempt at going viral, trying as hard as possible to be funny while trying (and ultimately failing) to fake-market itself as serious. But here's what makes this so great - Parker really did think this idea would sell, and may have even believed that some people would legitimately want to hear this. But keep in mind, this is mid-70's Elvis - overweight, addicted to painkillers, past his prime, counting down the months until his fatal heart attack. And, as it turns out, completely disconnected from reality. Elvis sounded like an Elvis impersonator at this point, and not once does he do anything fun; the title is a lie. In fact this doesn't even really qualify as spoken word, since there isn't any narrative or theme, just a bunch of quick cuts of banter between songs - you get Elvis belting out "well, well, well, well, well..." for half a minute, then telling a brief story about his early days (most of which are not even factually correct, making me wonder if Elvis was trying to invent his own history or had simply forgotten it), then giving us some bizarre non-sequitur ("I'm the NBC peacock!"), then interacting with some audience member who we cannot hear, then "well, well, well, well, well...." for another 30 seconds. I'm not even kidding - Elvis says "well" over 200 times on this album. To Presley's credit, the way this album is patched together probably makes him sound a lot more whacked out than he actually was...but then again, maybe not. It doesn't help that they try to capture him mostly when he's in a joking mood, without providing us the set-up for any of his jokes, none of which are even funny in the first place. By the time this album ends, you're left wondering, "what the hell did I just listen to?" You're hoping for some kind of coherent story, something to explain why he's acting so weird, something to tie this all together just a little bit in the end, but all you hear is Elvis leaving the building. It would be like piecing together a half hour of punch lines from a sitcom without giving us the set-ups; just the punch line. And not even a good sitcom - something like Everybody Loves Raymond. And that's how you make a one star album. Not that you needed to know that - the only people who are going to be interested in this are those who truly enjoy Dadaist humor, and for that, it's at least worth one listen. See also Paul Stanley's People, Let Me Get This Off My Chest, which is a similar concept, although it was clearly done for laughs - there may never be another album like this again.

This may be the only Elvis Presley album I review on this site...make of that what you will.

Qkumba Zoo - Wake Up & Dream (1996)
This was a failed crossover dance project from Johannesburg, the sort of thing that could only really have existed in the mid-90's. The band is a vocalist named Levannah, a dance music producer named Owl, and a dancer named Tziki who I'm guessing was to this group what Bez was to the Happy Mondays. For the most part, this is generic dance music with a slick, club-friendly sound, but with an African flavor. None of this is too risky, but at least it has the illusion of being exotic (at least as exotic as say, The Lion King). It's the kind of thing you'd hear at a resort overseas that caters mostly to white tourists, as it's got enough "sounds from the jungle" to feel adventurous without compromising its 1996 dance club beats. Which is to say it's the kind of music Enigma might have made if he pulled his head out of his ass. This album was their big international release, and while it didn't make much of a splash, it at least scored one moderate hit, "The Child Inside". It's far and away the best tune on here, with a gorgeous vocal in the chorus and a bunch of memorable parts. They do have some success whenever they hit upon a good synth hook ("Rain", "Happy Earth Day", "Time of Wonder"), and Levannah's voice is pretty enough to carry a tune by itself ("Big"). Also, they don't really handle ballads too well, which is typical for this type of act, but you get them anyway. Essentially this is somewhere between World Clique and Aquarium, though it doesn't have the attitude of Deee-Lite or the edginess of Aqua. In fact, there's pretty much no edge here at all, as Levannah sings about the power of dreams, listening to your ancients, taking care of the Earth, indulging your inner child, and other things you probably first heard in The Jungle Book. Q-Zoo lives in a sensitive and friendly world, where mermaids sing beneath the ocean and the demons of Apartheid cry about what they've done, not that there's anything wrong with that. But it definitely has the fun factor of those groups, and like Lene or Lady Miss Kier, Levannah can carry 45 minutes (or so) worth of dance music. At least, it would be that length if not for the collection of spare parts that make up the last 15+ minutes. It would have been neat to see these guys have a bigger impact, but "The Child Inside" basically stayed as a minor novelty hit that wound up on a SeaWorld commercial, and Tziki wound up killing herself soon after. Supposedly they've done more in the meantime, though subsequent albums are nearly impossible to find. I still pull this out from time to time as there are some good parts and a few songs do have a tendency to stick in your brain.

Ram Rider - Portable Disco (2005)
What a find this was. I don't really know anything about Ram Rider, not even his real name. I know he's a producer of Japanese techno, along the same lines as Ryukudisko and Denki Groove, but there is little information on him in English. So what do we know about this album? The cover is vibrant, set in a garden, with several animals up front, including a parrot, a zebra, a lion, and some other that I can't identify. In the background, there is a disco ball that shines the entire color spectrum onto the scene. It's an appealing cover, and it's clear a lot of work was put into it. That's really the feeling of the album; it's busy, colorful, fun, bright, and anyone can enjoy it. Even the title of the album means something; the songs are all pretty upbeat and danceable, and you do feel like you're in a club everytime you play them. After a brief opening bit, the first "full" track is called "Yume de Aeru Yo", which has an immediately likeable vocal hook and a cute, danceable beat, smooth in a Discovery-era Daft Punk way. It's a good track, but just wait - the entire album is like this. You could have fooled me into thinking this was a greatest hits collection; as far as I know six singles were released from this album, and there could have easily been more. It's vibrant, feel-good pop, with disco bass lines and electro-house beats, and the heavily vocodered vocals of the Rider himself anchor it all down. Some of the best tracks use violin hooks to give the music a sweeping feel ("Hello", "Sweet Dance"), and there's one that uses a full orchestra in the explosive chorus ("Music"). There's a guitar-heavy space-arena-rock anthem ("Sun Light Stars") and a couple of tracks that blend shimmering keyboard lines that are more meditative ("Bedroom Disco" and "Yellow, Magenta, Cyan and Black", featuring Midori's ultra-cute vocals). Even the 'safer' tracks work fine - "Space Walk" is a fine piece of 80's style Euro-disco, and the straightforward trance of "Door" is hypnotic. Some use guitar hooks ("Mirror Ball", "Feels Gonna Feel"), and there's a remix of "Bedroom Disco" by Ryukyudisko that sends a bouncy rhythm track from speaker to speaker. I really don't want to mention everything on the album (too late?), but suffice to say there is not one sub-par piece on here, and all 14 of these songs (not counting the intro) have ended up on a playlist of mine at some point. Usually albums that put 10+ songs in the 5-6 minute range are boring right off the bat, but this is one of the few that actually deserves to use it. I guess there are a few knocks against this album; it can be exhausting to listen to all at once, and a few tracks use a lot of annoying high-pitched noise ("Sun Light Stars", the "Bedroom Disco" remix). But this is one of the few pop albums that can run for over an hour and not get boring. It's not going to change the world; one song has the lyric "funky disco junk", and I can't help but wonder if Ram Rider's describing his own music. But let's not forget how enjoyable funk and disco can be in the right hands. You'll put a lot of miles on this.

Charanjit Singh - Ten Ragas to a Disco Beat (1982)
How many times have you heard this story before? Obscure LP sells about a hundred copies, one of which makes the thrift store rounds and eventually ends up in the hands of a DJ who sees the record as a hidden treasure and gets it reissued. But this isn't The Shaggs we're talking about here - this is acid house, which wouldn't even exist until 1989! The tools are not that unfamiliar - the drum beats are 808s, and the synth melodies are unmistakably TB-303s, which had only just recently come out. In a way, this does not really sound much different from the disco tracks that Moroder had produced. In fact, even the idea of synthesizing traditional Indian music was done before, on Haruomi Hosono's Cochin Moon album, released back in 1978. But the beats themselves were so ahead of their time - nobody was using an 808 in quite this way back in 1982, and if more than a handful of people had bought this record you might guess that it kick started the whole acid house movement. As for the music itself - every track runs about 5 minutes, starting with a few synth pings, dropping a house bass line, then adding the disco beat, and eventually playing the raga part. There is really not a whole lot of variety on this album - in fact, save for maybe "Raga Kalavati" (which almost has a funk atmosphere), all the tracks have a variation on the same bass line and drumbeat. You'd really be hard pressed to tell any of the tracks apart, which means you really only need one of them, but they sound so good (you have to give props to Dutch label Bombay Connection for cleaning this up - it sounds amazing), it's no problem listening to all ten.

I really don't know what to give this album - fans of early house music such as 808 State are really going to want to hear this, but it doesn't really work as an album per se since every track is basically the same. Of course, you could also say that about Steve Reich. This wasn't exactly meant to be listened to the way Computer World was. So this rating is even more of a guess than the others. This is a great album to play loud on a good system, and I would imagine some of these might even work well in a club setting despite being nearly 30 years old. At the very least, try finding one of the tracks on Youtube - it's legitimately stunning when you find out what year this was.