My most hated movie cliches
Submitted by Dr_Qlevinch_Bar... on Thu, 09/24/2009 - 07:29
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- The "clapping guy"- The guy whop steps out of the shadows and starts clapping at the hero's performance (in most cases, he just took out a bunch of bad guy thugs by himself). The clapping guy usually says something in a very dry tone, like "Very impressive"
- The other "clapping guy"- An audience sits in silence after a controversial, questionable, or "too real" performance, and then one lone guy or girl stands up and claps alone. He is then followed by the rest of the audience.
- Emotional resuscitation- Flatlined? No problem! Just get a friend or loved one, or just someone you just happen to be fucking at the time to do hackneyed CPR on you, accompanied by tender words that turn in to pure emotional anger. You'll be coughing up water or gasping for breath in no time.
- Outrunning explosions- Try planning a little better, ok good guys?
- Taste the sauce- Whenever a guy has a date with a girl, he shows his sensitive side (and, if it were real life, his broke side) by cooking for the girl at home. He ALWAYS lets her taste the sauce off the spoon before he serves dinner. Is this just a real- life formality I'm not aware of?
- Elaborate hacker programs- I'm willing to guess hacking looks a lot like DOS, but movies always portray them as this CG program with all this simplified symbolism like locked doors, bombs, etc.
- No mouse- When said hacker is hacking, he never uses a mouse. He types EVERYTHING super fast while looking at the screen.
- Hurt friends- "All you ever do is hold me back! I don't know why I've been letting you tag along all these years!" 25 minutes later, "Listen, about what I said back there...I..." "Hey- don't worry about it. Buds?" "Buds!"
- When animals attack- I don't ever want to see another actor hold a stuffed animal to their face and feign struggle.
- Interrupted first kiss- Stupid guy and stupid girl are about to kiss for the first time, but to build anticipation for something we knew was going to happen in the first 10 minutes of the movie, oop- someone knocks on the door, or someone walks in the room, or the phone rings. Which brings me to...
- "Don't answer it..."- Couple in bed about to have sex or right after sex, phone rings...you guessed it. Why does he always answer? Because he's a cop or a doctor. Why does he ignore it? Because it is the most crucial information he could possibly ever get, and round 2 of sex distracts them from hearing the answering machine that no one in real life has anymore.
- Bitchy girls- They get these girls who are just jaw- droppingly cold every time they open their mouth, and the actress just runs with it with that stupid "What are you gonna do about it, I'm a hot bitch and I'm enjoying this way too much" tone in their voice (see: the shapeshifter from "Heroes").
I know this is a redundancy, I figured something like this is likely to come up. These are just my observations that I came up with. I tried not to make them movie cliche cliches, if you know what I mean.