Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator
Submitted by darktremor on Mon, 10/31/2005 - 09:29
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- When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
- Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
- Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
- Call a Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
- Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?", and let the doors close.
- Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
- Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
- Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
- Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
- Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
- Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
- Ask, "Did you feel that?"
- Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
- When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again."
- Swat at flies that don't exist.
- Tell people that you can see their aura.
- Call out "Group Hug!", then enforce it.
- Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
- Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
- Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off, ever.
- Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
- Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
- Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
- Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
- Draw a little circle around yourself on the floor and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"
- Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
- Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.
- Hold an auction.
- Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.
- Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
- Throw a rave.
- Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."
- Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
- Hum the first seven notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
- When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"
- Lean over to another rider and whisper "Noogie patrol coming!"
- Have a heated debate with yourself.
- Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.
- Drum on every available surface.
- Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
- Stroke your chin and ask other passengers to tell you about their mothers.
- Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
- Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
- Propose to the other passengers.
- Challenge people to duels.
- Sell girl scout cookies.
- Bring a large pile of ice. Build a small igloo on the floor.
- Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
- Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
- Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a light.
- Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.
- Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.
- Shout "Food fight!"
- Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
- Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.
- Do Riverdance.
- Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"
- Make sushi.
- Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."
- Shave.
- Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
- Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.
- Practice kung fu.
- Make race car noises when people get on and off.
- Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"
- Fly a model airplane.
- Do yoga.
- Play the accordion.
- Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.
- Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
- Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
- Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."
- Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.
- Ask someone "guess what?" When they respond with "what?," say "guess what?" again. Repeat until the person responds angrily, then say "I was only asking a question." Then start talking loudly to someone else in the elevator about "how some people really need to learn how to control their temper." [thanks to haha_random]
- Ask someone if they have an extra pair of underwear with them. Tell them it's just because you have a disorder that causes uncontrollable bowel movements whenever you stop or start moving suddenly, and you forgot to pack your "elevator panties." [thanks to haha_random]
- Sit in the corner, rocking back and forth, muttering to yourself in a loop "And when it finishes going down it goes up and people get on but when they get on they always get off and the ones getting off are never the ones getting on and the doors open but they always close but when the doors close no one gets on and it goes down and when it finishes going down it goes up..." [inspired by haha_random]
- I will admit, they're not all great...
- Suggestions would be awesome though! As well as ideas on a)how to fix the ones that don't work, and b)which ones to get rid of altogether.
Author Comments:
Baker came up with the first 26 of these (or took them from a chain letter, I'm not sure, but I don't really care), I just had so many suggestions that I decided it would be worthwhile to clone and add.
Cloned From:








Hahaha! Awesome job, man. Gave me some very good laughs.
As did you, with your first 26 :) :) :) Laughed my ass off reading them...
Glad you enjoy the additions :)
Green Eggs and Ham made me think of this list. I laughed my shpadoinkle off.
Let me just state for the record that I have a great deal of respect for the American Armed Forces. In fact, if true, this list only serves to deepen that respect.
"SPC Schwarz was stationed with the Army in the Balkans. He was either very clever or very bored; but probably both, since he managed to attempt or be warned about almost 200 things he wasn't allowed to do. He collected those things into a list."
SPC Schwarz, thank you for your service.Hilarious.
Make your own list with that, that's amazing.
Shout out loud in the elevtor," YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY TOO?" and start making out with your left shoulder. Tee Hee Hee.
lol! Oh my other lists...
I have to say this - you probably have by far the strongest sense of sarcastic humour. (and that's a big compliment). :)
Well thank you :) (no sarcasm, seriously, I do take that as a large compliment)
Hey, I got some cool ones u can use
sing loudly "ON TOP OF SPAGHETTI, ALL COVERED WITH CHEESE, I LOST MY POOR MEAT BALL, WHEN SOMEBODY SNEEZED..."
walk calmly into the elevator saying "this is my first time on one." then wait until the doors close and bang on the doors and walls screaming loudly, "HEEEELLLPPP! LET ME OOOOOOOOUUUUTTTT!"
jump up and down when the elevator goes down or up laughing and shouting "POTATOES!!!!!" repeatedly
make a random sound when somebody starts talking acting mad and not wanting anyone to talk
pretend like you are sick and say "I think I am going to throw up" weakly
go to the floor farthest away from you and walk out every time somebody comes in on the way to the floor you were going to go on. then when you walk out a few steps, run back saying "WAIT DOORS! DONT CLOSE YET! I'M ON THE WRONG FLOOR!"
make random animal sounds
pretend like you are crying, press all the buttons, and say "I WANT ONE!" to another person standing next to you
ask of someone has an extra pair of underwear with them
ask someone if they want to see your wenis (elbow skin)
bring a small pinecone with you on the elevator and say "its ok George, its alright" to the pinecone while holding it near your face, rubbing it
ask someone "guess what?" they will say what. say "guess what?" again. repeat the question over and over and when they shout "WHAT!!!!!!!!!"
say "I was just asking a question!" while acting scared
act like a psycho person, rocking your head back and forth while smiling absently, sitting in the corner of the elevator
I can add a couple of those, yeah. Thanks.
How about when some one is about to get on, press the close door button so the door closes in their face
Or when its just you in the lift proclaim there is not enough room for anyone else when more people try to get on.
or..... pick your mobile up and pretend to be speaking to your girl/boyfriend and go "no you hang up, no you hang up....you didnt hang up either..,no you hang up" over and over again
You are a victim of your own pet peeve. Check out #21, which is hilarious btw.
Ah! I have to fix that.
An even bigger pet peeve of mine is when I personally write "your" instead of you're.
Suggestion! add, stand in front of the button panel, when someone needs to press on, ask them what floor, and then rub up against the panel carelessly pressing all of the buttons, also, create an awkward moment by making out in front of the button panel
add this, bring a hand held tape recorder with you and hold it up while saying the date, time, and then "im afraid this may be my last entry."
Ok, I have something that you could put on here... When your alone in an elevator with someone just start dancing randomly (personal dance party)!!!! Haha!!
Stand in front of the button panel and when someone try's to press a button, say in a serious voice, "Password?"
When your in an elevator with someone else, giggle randomly and say, "Oh stop it, you"
Start grinding on the person next to you
When it's raining outside, stand in the middle of the elevator with your hands in your pockets and look side to side, then burst out singing "It's raining man", especially if your a guy!!
Wen someone walks in, smile brightly at them and say, "Hey! I haven't seen you in so long!"
Randomly sing Don't Stop Believin'.
Give the people in the elevator a pep talk as if they are the high school football team, and you are the coach.
Sit on the floor and when someone walks in, butt-scooch over to them, hug their leg, and whisper in a creepy voice, "Mine!"
Start telling the people in the elevator the story of your life.
Randomly name the seven dwarves from Snow White.
Ask people if they prefer coke or Pepsi.
Start talking to someone and never stop, even if they get off...
Start talking about how you're going to win the lottery.
Sit in a corner, arms holding your knees, and whisper to one of them (the knees) that soon it will just be the two of you..
Bring a water gun and start spraying the passengers.
Walk up to a stranger and comfortingly place a hand on their shoulder, telling them its gonna be okay, and you will never leave their side.
Tell a passenger, "Hey, wanna come to my place for some brunch? There will be Kool-Aid..."
Ask them what their favorite t.v. Show is then start a heated argument, telling them that they are lying.
Sit in the middle of the elevator, holding your knees, and start singing Christmas carols.
Stand off to the side and start playing an instrument. When people ask you what you are doing, tell them, "Oh, I'm just settin the mood," and continue playing.