Quotes from Movies I'm Watching in 2009

Cledus: How we gonna lift that beer? You can't drive a forklift.
The Bandit: I can drive any forking thing I please.

Ski: You alright, Hoop?
Hooper: Aw...terrific.
Ski: No, I'm serious, Hoop.Hooper: (wincing) Oh, I invented that stunt. Ain't nobody in the world that does it any better.
Ski:And you say that in all humility.
Hooper: I give great humble.

Shriek: Here is to good luck. May it all be mine.

Organizer: Of course you know certain sceptics note that perhaps 10,000 of the nations's most elite highway patrolmen are out there waiting for us after we start, but let's stay positively: Think of the fact that there's not one state in the 50 that has the death penalty for speeding... although I'm not so sure about Ohio.

Buscemi: I'm just glad to be alive right now. I was up a few towns away- you know Saragosa? I was visiting a bar there, not unlike this one. They serve beer, not quite as good as this, but close. And I saw something you wouldn't believe. I'm sitting there, see, small table all by myself. Now this bar, it's full of real low-lives. I mean, not like this place here. No, I mean bad. Like they were up to no good, know what I'm sayin'? Anyway, I'm all by myself, I like it that way. Meanwhile, things are going on... under the table kinds of things. Not too obvious, but, not too secret, either. So, I'm sitting there, and in walks the biggest Mexican I have ever seen. Big as shit. Just walks right in like he owns the place. Now, nobody knew quite what to make of him, or quite what to think. There he was and in he walked. He was dark, too. I don't mean dark-skinned. No, this was different. It was as if he was always walking in a shadow. I mean every step he took towards the light, just when you thought his face was about to be revealed, it wasn't. It was as if the lights dimmed, just for him.

Reporter: Señorita, how did you ever get a name like Fathom?
Fathom Harvill: A fathom is six feet. Papa was hoping for a tall son. Papa was disappointed.

Bad Cop: You spades just live for this kind of shit.
H.J.: We spades are just trying to live. Period.

Nude Motorcycle Rider: Is there something I can do for you?
Kowalski: Well, like what?
Nude Motorcycle Rider: Like anything you want.

Phillipe: You hear that? Moses was a brother!

Mother: You know, if I was 20 years younger...
Jugs: I'd be 3.

Monco: [counting reward sums of outlaws he just killed] Ten thousand... twelve thousand... fifteen...sixteen... seventeen... twenty-two. Twenty-two?
[a cowboy comes from behind, Monco turns and shoots him dead]
Monco: ...Twenty-seven.
Col. Douglas Mortimer: Any trouble, boy?
Monco: No, old man. Thought I was having trouble with my adding. It's all right now.

Ned:: Good, nice sense of irony, blowing up the bomb unit. Ned, you may ask yourself, why is it my turn to die. Ask God. he kills all the time. Why shouldn't I?

Cholla, Black Widow Leader: Why me Lord? You made other men out of clay. Mine, you made out of shit.

Tank Murdock: [upon seeing Philo's blood on his nose and lip after the confrontation with Lynn] Looks like you've had a go at it already. You sure that face won't hurt too much to fight?
Philo Beddoe: I ain't gonna be hitting you with my face.

Sandy:: When the clock strikes twelve, my car turns into a pumpkin.

Cort: Last night, The Kid. Tonight, Herod. You're a busy woman. Any man in this town you're not interested in?
Ellen: Yeah. You.

um, all of it?

Marksman #2: What are you?
Dorian Gray: I'm complicated.

Foxy Brown: You pink-ass corrupt honky judge, take your little wet noodle outta here and if you see a man anywhere send him in because I do need a MAN!

The Phantom: [to Devil, guarding the badguys] Watch him Devil. If he moves, eat him!

Duane: Will you please get out of my face you sorry-looking faggot?
Lindy: Who you calling sorry-looking?
[Everybody laughs]
Duane: Can't ya'll see she ain't funny?
[Laughter stops]
Duane: She's just another poor example of how the system is destroying our men.
Lindy: Honey, I'm more man than you'll ever be and more woman than you'll ever get.

Donny: Hello, and welcome to "TV Car Trivia!" First question, who was the driver of a '73 Firebird? Uh, Otto?
Otto Halliwell: Uh, Jim Rockford, "Rockford Files".
Sara "Sway" Wayland: Gimme "Columbo".
Kip: A Peugeot convertible.
Donny: What color?
Kip: Gray.
Mirror Man: How do you know that?
Kip: 'Cause I love that show.
Mirror Man: Man, I got three words for all of y'all: Get a life!
Freb: What's on Magnum P.I.'s license plate?
Tumbler: "ROBIN-1"
Kip: Wait, wasn't Robin that faggoty guy that always hung with him?
Memphis: Naw, that was Higgins. That was Higgins.
Otto Halliwell: Hey, hey, ten points for our fearless leader. Sway, how about giving us the Bill Bixby trifecta?
Sara "Sway" Wayland: Drove a Corvette in "The Magician", a Ford pickup truck in "The Incredible Hulk",and in "The Courtship of Eddie's Father", he walked.

Duane: [to camera] If you are watching this in the future, know that time has had its way with us, and that we knew it would. And it will with you. There is no escaping this. In a strange way, it's what makes life so beautiful and strange, that nothing alive stays the same.

Buckaroo Banzai: You can check your anatomy all you want, and even though there may be normal variation, when it comes right down to it, this far inside the head it all looks the same. No, no, no, don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to.