The Worst Rock Stars Ever

Something Awful presents The Worst Rock Stars Ever. Not merely a list, but a rollicking good rant as well. To help you decide whether or not to click though, I offer you entry #7 as enticement:

Axl Rose - Short-tempered, alcoholic jerks are often drawn to jobs which give them free reign to abuse people. Short-tempered, alcoholic jerks who can screech like speared bush pigs, however, are blessed with the attractive option of becoming hard rock singers. In this profession, they can not only abuse people, but they can get international attention for it. As long as they’re able to hold a band together, that is. Axl Rose, unfortunately, was bad enough that he couldn’t even convince a group of barely-functional junkies to hang out with him. Given the promise of virtually unlimited money, can you even imagine how difficult it would be to scare off junkies? “Hang out with this asshole, junkies, and you’ll be up to your gills in high-quality horse for life.” To a junkie, that is an overwhelmingly attractive proposition. The breaking point, apparently, is when the asshole in question starts writing songs with gigantic string sections. You couldn’t keep a real rocker next to a string section for all the opium in Afghanistan.

... and I'll give you three guesses as to which rock star the author scorns with the line, "Very classy, you flyweight geriatric ghoul." « via largehearted boy »