... and When They Are Bad They Are Horrid
Submitted by jim on Fri, 07/23/2004 - 04:53
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Filmfodder, along with everyone else, slams Catwoman:
The real wedgie in the crotch of "Catwoman" is Pitof, a former special effects stooge (a favorite of "Amelie" director Jean-Pierre Jeunet) turned Hollywood hack, who has a hard time trusting old-fashioned filmmaking devices such as "acting," "drama," and "self-control" long enough to actually make a film out of this Bob Kane-created character. Pitof believes only in three things:
- Not one shot shall last longer than three seconds.
- Whenever possible, have a poorly rendered CG image do the heavy lifting in terms of stuntwork, or even the simple things, like putting a milk moustache on Catwoman's face (last time I heard, this wasn't all that hard to do practically).
- Make sure nobody catches a glimpse of Sharon Stone's natural features.
The thing that amazes me is that the movie will make any money at all. Take my theater of choice, for example. Of the 13 choices presented to me, I'd go to Catwoman dead last. Even if there are other people in the country for whom it cracks the top 5, there are still 4 other movies they'd choose to see first. I think it's a real possibility that this will be the first movie to make ZERO dollars. Oh right, except for the rubbernecking MST3K crowd. Damn them.
Now now. I'm sure Pitof's mother will see it.
P.S. A CGI milk moustache?! Now that's ridiculous.
Isn't it? Incidentally, has there been a good "no last name" director? Pitof, McG, Kaos (shudder)... A sure danger sign if ever there was one.
Have you seen Uzumaki? It had a one name director in the strangely cross-cultural "Higuchinsky". While the film itself is probably a 6 out of 10, the directing style is actually pretty good. But that's all I could think of.
No, I haven't seen that yet. I might try to give that a watch after I work my way through some other Japanese horror movies. Nice to know that there might at least be an exception that proves the rule though.