Albums Reviewed 01: Barenaked Ladies

Gordon

An interesting first album for BNL. This album featured many of their biggest hits, including "If I Had $1000000", "Be My Yoko Ono", and "Brian Wilson." It was a good debut album, featuring BNL's bizarre sense of humor that is present in most of their songs. Very uneven, though; take the wild, goofy "Grade 9", go two tracks later, and you get the quiet, solemn "Wrap Your Arms Around Me." Some of the songs are too silly, though, like "I Love You" (sample: "I love you, you love me, I love you, so let's make a family tree"), and some are too boring ("Blame It On Me"). But still, there are a lot of good songs here.

Favorite songs: "Enid", "Brian Wilson", "Box Set"

Favorite lyrics:
"I can get a job, I can pay the phone bills, I can cut the lawn, cut my hair, cut out my cholesterol, I can work overtime, I can work in a mine, I can do it all for you, but I don't want to" (Enid)

"And if you want to find me, I'll be out in the sandbox, just wondering where the hell all the love has gone" (Brian Wilson)

"You think you're so smart, but I've seen you naked, and I'll probably see you naked again" (Blame It On Me)

"If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars), I'd buy you a monkey (Haven't you always wanted a mon-KEY?!)" (If I Had $1000000)

"The lights are on but nobody's home, my elevator doesn't go to the top, I'm not playing with a full deck, I've lost my marbles" (Crazy)

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Maybe You Should Drive

"MYSD" has less of the quirkiness of Gordon. Definitely a bad thing. Personally, I think the music suffers when it's too serious. Songs like "Everything Old Is New Again" are kinda boring. Luckily, there are also great songs like "A" and "These Apples" (such a funny song!). I mean, for BNL's other albums, you get the sense that they worked hard to make the songs work, but I don't get that impression here. I also really don't get the appeal of the song "Jane." I think Jane St. Clair is kind of a bitch ("Jane doesn't think a man could ever be faithful"). Oh, and "Little Tiny Song" is just plain stupid.

Favorite songs: "These Apples", "Life, In a Nutshell", "A"

Favorite lyrics:
"When she was 3, her Barbies always did it on the first date. Now she's with me, and there's never any need for them to demonstrate." (Life, In a Nutshell)

"I'm so sick of fighting and that effigy you're lighting looks an awful lot like someone whose name I just can't quite place" (You Will Be Waiting)

"So enthusiastic, a little bit drastic, I shaved her name in my head. And as she beheld it, she said I misspelled it; need more be said?" (These Apples)

"If I pull up in a U-Haul, pack up quick, so we can get out of this town 'cause it makes me sick" (Alternative Girlfriend)

"A is for asshole, which is what I am, how rude of me, I owe you an apology, I'm sorry" (A)

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Born on a Pirate Ship

Alright. Now we're back on track. The humor is back in the songs, for the most part. However, most of the songs have something a little off about them. "Same Thing" is completely nonsensical. In "Just a Toy", they're trying to imitate heavy metal music for some reason. "I Live With It Every Day" would work better if it were more subtle. "This Is Where It Ends" also has something off about it, something I can't quite place, that I don't like. But there are some very good tracks on here, including two big hits, "The Old Apartment", and "Shoebox" (which appeared on the "Friends" soundtrack album).

Favorite songs: "The Old Apartment", "Break Your Heart", "I Know"

Favorite lyrics:
"I gained all this weight out of love, not hate, I've got so much love to give (gimme a break!). I'd love to sleep in late, but that dessert looks great, was it something I said, or was it something I ate?" (Stomach Vs. Heart)

"'My heart will be fine, just stop wasting my time.' And now I know that you will be okay, and that I've got what I want, and that's rid of you. Good-bye. And it's not 'cause I'll be missing you that makes me fall apart. It's just that I didn't mean to break your heart." (Break Your Heart)

"I've seen the facts of inter-race relations, of see-through slacks, of cyber-masturbation. If 100 monkeys each could get their own show, perhaps someday a chimp might say, 'You have faith, you just need to use it, sayeth the Lord.'" (I Know)

"How is the neighbor downstairs? How is her temper this year? I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just for fun" (Old Apartment)

"I can offer you lies, I can tell you good-bye, I can tell you I'm sorry, but I can't tell the truth, dear. And what if I could? Would it do any good? You'd still never get to see the contents of my shoebox" (Shoebox)

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Rock Spectacle

It's cool to see the differences between the live versions of songs and the studio versions. Some songs are better live ("Jane", "Brian Wilson"), some are worse ("Hello City", "What a Good Boy"). Some are just different, like "Life, In a Nutshell", which has been slowed down to a more folksy sound on this live album. I haven't actually ever been to a BNL concert, but this album makes me want to go, if only to see their improvised songs, such as "Uncle Elwyn" on "Rock Spectacle", a very funny song; I'm amazed that they were able to improvise this whole song. It seems inappropriate to make a list of favorite songs / lyrics here.

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Stunt

Hell yeah! This is what happens when you really work hard on an album. There's not a bad song on this album. And of course, the bizarreness is ever present in the songs, even in a more solemn song like "When You Dream", which asks if your dreams are in Yiddish or English (personally, mine are in English). Their biggest hit, "One Week", is on this CD, and that kicks ass, but many of the songs are good too. "Never Is Enough" is a hilarious song. "It's All Been Done" is a cool little ditty. "In the Car" is an underrated, beautiful song. And I also like "Call and Answer" and "Some Fantastic" and "Alcohol" and "Who Needs Sleep?" and "I'll Be That Girl." And "Light Up My Room." And "Told You So." And "Leave."

Favorite songs: "One Week", "Never Is Enough", "In The Car"

Favorite lyrics (sorry, it's too hard to pick only five here):
"Like Kurosawa, I make mad films. 'kay, I don't make films. But if I did, they'd have a Samurai." (One Week) ~ dedicated to Jim

"We were looking for ourselves but found each other, in the car... We were waiting for our lives to start their endings, in the car. We were never making love. We were never making love. We were never making love." (In The Car)

"Alone and bored on a 30th-century night, will I see you on 'The Price Is Right'? Will I cry? Will I smile? As you run down the aisle?" (It's All Been Done)

"You get your Ph.D. How happy you will be when you get your job at Wendy's and are honored with Employee of the Month" (Never Is Enough)

"When you're done with being beautiful and young, when that course is run, then come to me" (I'll Be That Girl)

"But I'm warning you, don't ever do those crazy, messed-up things that you do. If you ever do, I promise you, I'll be the first to crucify you" (Call and Answer)

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Maroon

Another excellent CD to follow "Stunt", still with the same sense of humor and fun music. I said that every song on "Stunt" was good; I think there's only one bad song on "Maroon", and that would be the whiny, annoying "Baby Seat." Here we have everything from a sensual song about an inter-office fling (Conventioneers) to a loud song satirizing Hollywood (Sell Sell Sell). The biggest hit on this CD is probably "Pinch Me", which Steven Page has described as one of their "happy little songs about chronic depression." I've also noticed something strange about this CD: I really like all the bridges, oftentimes more than the regular lyrics. The bridge of "Baby Seat" is the only good part of the song. The bridges of "Tonight Is The Night I Fell Asleep At The Wheel", "Helicopters", "The Humour of the Situation", and "Go Home" are the best parts of the respective songs. For the other songs that have bridges, the bridges are at least as good as the rest of the song. This is just a little thing I noticed, that I just had to tell someone, and I can't think of any other place to write it. Back to the point: great album.

Favorite songs: "Falling For the First Time", "Sell Sell Sell", "Off the Hook"

Favorite lyrics (can't pick only five here either):
"If I pack the car and leave this town, who'll notice that I'm not around?... I could leave, but I'll just stay; all my stuff's here anyway." (Pinch Me)

"We choose a foreigner to hate, the new Iraq gets more irate. We really know nothing about them an no one cares. Aladdin and the forty thieves enhanced by brand new special effects. Saddam and his cow disease spiced up with some gratuitous sex." (Sell Sell Sell)

"He could get away with murder one, and you would clean the smoking gun" (Off the Hook)

"You're the last thing on my mind" (Tonight Is The Night I Fell Asleep At The Wheel) ~ a brilliant double entendre

"If you're lucky to be one of the few to find somebody who can tolerate you, then I shouldn't have to tell you again. Just pack your bags and get yourself on a plane. If you need her, you should be there. Go home." (Go Home)

"Have you heard the one about the boy who moved into the henhouse to sleep? He woke up with egg on his face when he found out all the hens had crossed the street" (The Humour of the Situation)

"Anyone perfect must be lying. Anything easy has its cost. Anything plain can be lovely. Anything loved can be lost." (Falling For the First Time)

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Disc One: All Their Greatest Hits

First off, let me say that this is the best name for a greatest hits compilation ever. Oh, sure, you don't think it's all that great, but you haven't heard the song "Box Set", from "Gordon." The liner notes are also very interesting. As for the song choices, I do think that these are pretty much their greatest hits. Not my favorite songs, but their greatest hits. I don't know why they used the live version of "What a Good Boy", which is not as good as the "Gordon" version. As for the extra songs, 3 of the 4 are good. I hate the bluegrass song "Lovers In a Dangerous Time." It would be inappropriate to make a favorite songs list here, but I'll write some favorite lyrics from the 4 bonus songs they gave us.

Favorite lyrics:
"They say you'll never love another till you love yourself, well brother, I'm in love with everyone I see" (It's Only Me [The Wizard of Magicland])

"Dictate a memo to myself, try to find if I'm the only one in complete health. Consult contemporaries if there are some to see. There really isn't anyone who's in my league" (Get In Line)

"This sentimentality doesn't look good on me, I thought that you would be begging to be with me, I'm the one on my knees, blubbering, please let me stay. Deflated, and jaded. I hate it when you call, which isn't at all." (Thanks, That Was Fun)

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Everything to Everyone

I've heard people say that this is a bit of a departure for BNL. The All Music Guide says that the Barenaked Ladies "show their age" and that the album is "serious and completely open for the first time in their 15-year career." What a load of garbage. BNL hasn't changed a bit. We still have weird humor ("Another Postcard"), satirical humor ("Shopping"), rampant wordplay ("Unfinished"), and sheer energy ("Upside Down"). Then we have songs that ironically disguise funny topics with seriousness - such as "Take It Outside", which is about a guy who is too apathetic to care that his girlfriend is leaving, or "Maybe Katie", about a guy who has a crush on an older woman ("Just because her youth is fading / Doesn't mean she's not worth dating"). Sure, there are some very serious, melancholy songs here ("War on Drugs"), but if you think this is the first time BNL is doing those, you obviously haven't heard their other albums. Another triumph for BNL, who continue to get better at what they do.

Favorite songs: "War on Drugs", "Another Postcard", "Testing 1, 2, 3"

Favorite lyrics:
"When you die, they make a list of every love you never kissed, of each regret, of each mistake, of every choice you failed to make" (Next Time)

"Another monkey in the mail could make me lose my mind, but look at me shuffling through the stack until I finally find: some chimps in swimsuits..." (Another Postcard)

"The very fear that makes you want to die is the same as what keeps you alive. It's more trouble than your suicide is worth" (War on Drugs)

"She got a new apartment out on the escarpment. In her glove compartment are my songs. She hasn't even heard them since she found out what the words meant. She decided she preferred them all wrong" (Testing 1, 2, 3)

"You can shine like silver all you want, but you're just aluminum" (Aluminum)